by Dan Ryan
#NR STRONK VS. #5 MARVOLO
Benny Newell: There’s no way this four-foot high moron is going to beat two giants on back-to-back weeks.
Joe Hoffman: Marvolo caught GREAT SCOTT off guard. I’d be surprised if he does the same with Srtronk. That doesn’t mean he can’t win, though.
Benny Newell: Get out.
The scene goes to ringside and Bryan McVay.
Bryan McVay: This match is for ONE FALL! Introducing first… from Molvania… weighing ninety-seven pounds… Marvolo the 3rd!!
The arena goes dark as the discordant intro of Chesney Hawke’s “The One and Only” screeches into the blackness, growing louder and louder until-
“I am the one and only
Nobody I’d rather be!”
A spotlight shines on the stage, illuminating Raquel, who receives a huge pop! Hey, wait…
“I am the one and only
You can’t take that away from me!”
From behind the beautiful Latina steps Marvolo 3, eliciting a decidedly less enthusiastic reception. Ruffling his cape in response, #1 marches towards the ring with his index fingers held high.
Raquel climbs the ring stairs, then holds the ropes open for Marvolo. He steps inside and waits expectantly as she removes his cape for him.
Benny Newell: Where does Lee find these guys?
“#1” waits for the next introduction.
Bryan McVay: And his opponent… from Minnesota… weighing three-hundred-seven-point-one pounds… The King of Stallions… STRONK GODSON!
Benny Newell: Now we’re talking.
The lights in the arena go down as “STRONKER” by FLAV RILLE begins to play. STRONK GODSON walks out onto the stage and marches down the rampway. Just before stomping up the ring steps, he grabs ahold of his ‘STRONK AF’ sleeveless tee shirt and rips it from his body with startling ease. The powerlifter enters the ring.
And Marvolo fearlessly goes after him!
Hortega calls for the bell.
DING DING
Marvolo is hammering his right forearm into Stronk’s jaw for all its worth but the big man doesn’t budge. Instead, Godson grabs Marvolo by the neck and HURLS him across the ring.
Except Marvolo lands on the top rope!
Stronk turns around and Marvolo hits Godson with a missile dropkick under the chin! This phases the stalky force as Godson takes two steps back to recover and then ferociously charges #1 with a clothesline attempt.
Marvolo jumps over the clothesline. It’s clear Godson was seeing red and it allowed Marvolo to move! Marvolo runs up the turnbuckle pad and springs off it with a corkscrew diving crossbody!
Godson catches Marvolo.
He powerslams Marvolo the 3rd to the canvas!
Benny Newell: It’s over! Goodnight!
Godson hooks a leg.
UNO
DOS
KICKOUT!
Joe Hoffman: Marvolo isn’t going to be put down with ONE move, Benny.
Benny Newell: Whatever.
Godson hurls Marvolo into the ropes and then tackles the smaller wrestler to the canvas. Stronk takes a moment to get on his feet and this allows Marvolo an opening. Marvolo kips to his feet and shoots off the ropes, landing another missile dropkick, this time into Godson’s right knee.
Joe Hoffman: Stronk lacks speed, at least the speed Marvolo has. It took Godson too long to get on his feet and Marvolo made him pay.
Marvolo jumps onto the second rope and springboards off with a lionsault! Raquel claps along on the outside as Marvolo covers.
UNO.
DOS.
GODSON THROWS MARVOLO INTO THE AIR!
Stronk catches Marvolo in the air and positions #1 onto his shoulder.
Godson connects with a running powerslam! The ring shakes on impact.
Benny Newell: Okay, NOW it’s over!
UNO.
DOS.
SHOULDER UP!
Raquel shouts in support and Stronk is surprised as he looks up at the referee. Nevertheless, the physical specimen lifts Marvolo with ease onto his shoulders again. It looks like another running powerslam when Marvolo escapes and Godson meets the mat empty handed!
#1 hits the ropes and aims for a double foot stomp when Godson is on a knee.
Marvolo hits it!
The crowd is stunned as Marvolo sprints to the top rope and measures Godson…
Joe Hoffman: Is Marvolo going for his second-straight upset!?
Marvolo jumps but Godson rolls out of the way! However, Marvolo lands on his feet and immediately performs a standing moonsault onto Stronk.
Godson raises his knees at the last possible second! Marvolo eats the knees and rolls onto his back. The King of Stallions tries to mount Marvolo…
Joe Hoffman: Godson talked about this earlier… how he wanted to hammer Marvolo’s head into the ground with what he was calling The Medium Package. He was going to pin Marvolo this way for a count of three… four… five. Stronk said it didn’t matter.
Benny Newell: Damn right it doesn’t. Kill this idiot and move on, Godson.
But the Minnesota native can’t get himself in the correct position because Marvolo has crawled over to the ropes! Godson looks irate! Stronk takes hold of Marvolo’s feet and throws them into the air. As Marvolo is holding onto the bottom rope, his legs are tossed upright until the ropes stop his full momentum… so Marvolo lands square on his head!
Joe Hoffman: That looked like it really hurt!
Benny Newell: I can hope!
Godson scoops #1 off the mat and chucks him into a corner. The skinny and short Marvolo goes flying into the turnbuckle padding. He meets it face-first and then stumbles out. Godson bounces off the ropes himself but is coming forward in a slow and methodical motion…
Running, EXPLODING shoulder block!
Followed by a gorilla press slam where Godson holds Marvolo in the air for a while, sends a few fake kisses to Raquel’s direction and then bench pressing Marvolo before tossing his opponent to the canvas with ease.
There’s one problem.
Marvolo escaped the press slam before he met the mat.
Joe Hoffman: Marvolo is on the top rope again! Stronk doesn’t see him…
#1 jumps but Stronk Godson moves! The former HOTv & LSD Champion hits a running EXPLODING shoulder block so hard, it sends Marvolo across the entire ring! Marvolo bounces off the ropes, as a type of ricochet moment and back into Godson’s waiting arms.
Bearhug turned into a belly to belly suplex.
Marvolo is laid out. He isn’t moving. Finally, Godson mounts his opponent…
The Medium Package!
As previously stated by Stronk himself, Godson is in a “missionary position”, hammering his head against Marvolo’s face over and over and over while also pinning Marvolo’s shoulders to the mat. Referee Joel Hortega realizes Marvolo’s shoulders are pinned so he slides into position and starts counting.
UNO.
DOS.
TRES!
But Stronk continues to be on top of Marvolo… to the point Hortego double takes the pinfall and then drops his arm for another count.
QUATRO!!!
Joel calls for the bell.
DING DING DING
Benny Newell: Amazing. Stronk mounting Marvolo for that extra count…..I am telling ya…it moved.
Only after the bell rings do Stronk’s pupils “come back to life” and he’s able to regain his composure by simply discarding Marvolo to the side. Godson gets up from the missionary position.
Bryan McVay: The winner of this match… STRONK GODSON!
Godson’s theme song plays as the stalky powerlifter looks down and sees Raquel standing at the apron, looking concerned for Marvolo.
Joe Hoffman: Stronk keeps on track. It was a decent showing by Marvolo but he was overwhelmed by Stronk’s size and his HOW record moves to 1-1 after two of the toughest first matches I have ever seen for a rookie to the company.
Benny Newell: Maybe in that other company he can get a participation trophy….not fucking here tho. Let’s fucking move on.
Chaos does indeed cut away.
SECTION: EVIL
The feed cuts to Section 214, where we see members of the EVIL EMPIRE as they have come from Missouri Valley Wrestling to cheer on the HOTv champion Joe Bergman later on tonight when he and Scott Stevens will face Dan Ryan and Jatt Starr in a tag team match..
Benny Newell: Kneesus Christ Hoffman, how many of these Barn Trooper flunkies from Bergman’s Barn are we going to have continuing to infest HOW?
Joe Hoffman: Those aren’t trainees Benny.
Benny Newell: All losers to me that can’t shoot a laser gun correct. Pew. Pew. Han shot first. Pew. Pew.
As Benny continues to shoot invisible lasers at the MVW guests we see most notably The MVW and HOTv Tag Team champions, R.G. Jenkins and Mark Hendry aka…The Alabama Gang, and the MVW Men’s champion, Bill Dickinson partying it up with their manager Sunny O’Callahan and the fans around them.
Joe Hoffman: Seems like Section 214 is the place to be……
Like with any good party there is always someone or something to ruin it and that’s what happens when the cheers become deafening jeers at the sight of the Stevens Dynasty.
Benny Newell: Somebody’s about to get their asses kicked and I am here for it!
Coming down the aisle, lead by the patriarch himself, Cary Stevens. Behind him is his sons, George and Ricky, along with cousin Bo. Also tagging along is MVW Hall of Famer and Scott Stevens’ wife, Lisa Barbosa-Stevens, and her former body guard, Ted Tebow. Rounding out the Dynasty family tree is Drusilla Danes, Ricky’s fiancé. Upon their arrival the members of the MVW roster in Section 214 immediately get to their feet and Cary looks at them in disgust.
Cary Stevens: You’re in our seats!
Cary informs Bergman’s guests who appear confused.
Cary Stevens: I said you are in our seats! Get the fuck out!
Cary shouts as he reaches into his pocket and produces a ticket as does the rest of the Stevens Dynasty,
Sunny O’Callahan: Yeah, I don’t think so.
O’Callahan walks up to Cary.
Sunny O’Callahan: Joe got them tickets for tonight’s show.
Cue the big staredown between the two.
Joe Hoffman: This can’t be good.
Benny Newell: Fuck yeah it is!
Joe Hoffman: They have tickets, Benny.
Benny Newell: Don’t care. Fuck these trespassers up.
But before anything physical kicks off, they hear a familiar voice.
Scott Stevens: What is going on here?
They all turn and see Stevens coming down the aisle.
Crowd: FUCK YOU STEVENS! *FUCK YOU STEVENS! (clap clap clap-clap-clap) FUCK YOU STEVENS! (clap clap clap-clap-clap)
The Demi-God of HOW looks at the crowd and shakes his head in disgusts as he continues to walk down the aisle.
Scott Stevens: I said, what is the problem?
Scott asks his father who explains the situation. He shows his ticket to his son and checks the row and seats.
Scott Stevens: Where’s your tickets?
Scott demands from the Alabama Gang and company.
Bill Dickinson: Right here. Joe Bergman gave them to us.
Dickinson shows Stevens the ticket he has.
Stevens looks at it.
Scott Stevens: Hmmm…
Then he sucker punches the MVW champion. The Alabama Gang shove the Demi-God back. The rest of the Stevens Dynasty join in and a brawl breaks out
Joe Hoffman: Not good at all.
The EPU come charging down the aisle…
Benny Newell: YES! The EPU is here and they’ll get rid of Joe Bergman’s Evil Empire flunkies.
…and get in-between the Dynasty and the Alabama Gang. Scott walks up to the lead EPU member and with a smirk on his face says……
Scott Stevens: These people snuck into this building without tickets and as you can see my family has them.
Stevens points to the Dynasty as they show them the physical ticket
Scott Stevens: HE doesn’t want trespassers much less MVW filth coming into his arena tonight for free no less.
Sunny motions to Jenkins, Hendry, and Dickinson that it’s cool.
Scott Stevens: I want this trash removed immediately, in HIS name.
The EPU guard nods and commands the others to escort the Alabama Gang out of Section 214.
Sunny stops and turns to Stevens.
Sunny O’Callahan: You are so going to get yours tonight.
Sunny follows the rest as Scott waves bye to them before turning towards his family.
Scott Stevens: Hope you enjoy the rest of the show.
Scott tells his family before heading up the aisle.
Joe Hoffman: Scott Stevens is a despicable human being.
Benny Newell: Hoffman, I’m sure Ray McAvay is going to get a call about his wrestlers trespassing on HOW property and assaulting wrestlers as well. Just Abe Lincoln once did four score and seven less MVW ago, the EPU has liberated us from the EVIL EMPIRE.
Joe Hoffman: Really Benny?
Benny Newell: What?
Joe Hoffman: Well we are about to cut back to inside the ring where we have the contract signing between Steve Solex and Jace Parker Davidson.
YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY
We come back to the ringside area to find that the ring has been covered with a 97red carpet. There is a table set up in the ring with a large Birthday cake and lit candles on it. There are wrapped presents on each side of the cake. Behind the table, there is a large portrait of the current HOW LSD Champion Jace Parker Davidson on display.
Joe Hoffman: Welcome back to ringside ladies and gentlemen. It looks like we’re about to have a celebration of some sort. A celebration for the man set to wrestle in the main event tonight and then defend the LSD Championship belt at March 2 Glory.
Benny Newell: Maybe it’s a going away party. The guy has been going out more and more playing in the world of Fisher Price. He can just relinquish the LSD Championship belt and award it to the Last Man in Wrestling here tonight and not waste our time at the PPV.
Abdullah Choi and STRONKETTE both stand in the middle of the ring looking proud of the effort that both have put into this entire thing. Choi requests a microphone and gets handed one as the crowd begins to rain down boos on the duo. Choi walks to the center of the ring and waits for the crowd to quiet down before speaking.
Abdullah Choi: I bet you people didn’t realize that this past Monday was a very important day. It was a day that should have been mentioned on last Sunday night’s Chaos event. It was a day that should have been plastered all over the HOWrestling.com website. Yet, because of the disrespect of the people backstage and of course, you idiots…
The crowd boos again louder than before but Choi just shakes his head.
Abdullah Choi: …There was no mention of that special day whatsoever. The day I am speaking of is the 35th Birthday of your FOREVER ICON Champion. The GREATEST LSD Champion that has ever lived.
Choi begins to pace back and forth.
Abdullah Choi: I know you’re thinking we could have just done this last week. That is a valid point, if not for the fact we were in SHITTSBURGH last week! No way we were going to hold a celebration of this magnitude there.
Benny Newell: Sounds like a shitty excuse for why the guy didn’t show up for work last week after getting his ass handed to him by Aceldama and Solex at the Lethal Lottery.
Abdullah Choi: We waited until this week to do it here in Madison Square Garden! Here in the MECCA, the CONCRETE JUNGLE!
The crowd pops for the first time.
Abdullah Choi: And yet it’s still disappointing because New Yorkers are simply dreadful.
And immediately the boos return.
Abdullah Choi: However, this is the last stop before we have to head over to the land where no toothbrush has ever gone before. So, without further ado, allow me to introduce you to the Birthday boy himself. The man that’s absolutely one of the best wrestlers to ever step foot inside a HOW ring… JACEEE PARKERRR DAVIDSONNN!!!
The lights in the arena go pitch black as the audience is lit up by thousands of lights from phones being held in the air. The HOV lights up as a large skull with a crown on its head appears on screen.
“THE KING… IS HERE!”
The sound of “HAIL TO THE KING” by Avenged Sevenfold blasts from the speaker system. The crowd begins a chorus of boos as smoke begins to build up on stage. Jace Parker Davidson walks out from behind the curtain wearing a pair of blue jeans, a t-shirt, and a black jacket. He has the LSD Championship belt around his waist and the ICON Championship belt over his shoulder.
Hail to the King
Hail to the one
Kneel to the crown
Stand in the sun
Hail to the King
(Hail, hail, hail)
(The King)
Joe Hoffman: Jace is in a unique position. He isn’t exactly a fan favorite, but at the moment he also hasn’t pledged his allegiance to Lee Best or the Final Alliance. He has formed an uneasy partnership with Conor Fuse but will that be enough to overcome Steve Solex and the HOW World Champion Christopher America?
There’s a taste of fear (hail, hail, hail)
When the henchmen call (hail, hail, hail)
Iron fist to tame them (hail, hail, hail)
Iron fist to claim it all
Jace looks out at the sold-out crowd here tonight and soaks in their hatred. Jace looks down towards the ring and begins to pat his hand over his heart with his free hand. STRONKETTE and Choi are both clapping for the Champion as he slowly makes his way down the ramp toward the ring.
Hail to the King
Hail to the one
Kneel to the crown
Stand in the sun
Hail to the King
Hail to the one
Kneel to the crown
Stand in the sun
Hail to the King
(Hail, hail, hail)
Benny Newell: Not the smartest idea to come out here tonight for a late Birthday party when Steve Solex and every single member of the Final Alliance are lurking around somewhere in this building.
Jace makes his way up the steel ring steps and then walks along the ring apron. STRONKETTE holds open the ropes as Jace enters the ring. Jace looks over the Birthday cake and then the large portrait of himself as his music dies down.
Abdullah Choi: Champ, boss, I want you to know that regardless of the disrespect shown to you by Lee Best and the members of the HOW roster. Despite the lack of respect from those marks that call themselves fans all over the world. I want you to know that STRONKETTE and I appreciate you and that we are loyal to you and only YOU!
Choi gets down onto his knees and begins to bow to the King of Everything.
Joe Hoffman: Didn’t he just meet with Stronk Godson earlier this week and tried to throw Jace under the bus?
Jace nods his approval as Choi gets back up to his feet.
Abdullah Choi: It’s not every single day that one of the greatest wrestlers that have ever lived turns 35 years old. Especially, when that wrestler doesn’t look a day over 23 years old! Everyone stand on your feet and join me in singing Happy Birthday to the one and only KING OF EVERYTHING!
The crowd begins a chant of ‘Shut the fuck up’ towards Choi as he begins singing.
Abdullah Choi: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR JACEYYYY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TOOOO…
The crowd suddenly reacts as Steve Solex comes out of the crowd and hops the barricade. Solex slides into the ring and stands behind Choi as he takes a deep breath to hit that high note. Solex snatches the microphone away from Choi, who falls on his ass and scurries behind the LSD Champion for safety.
Benny Newell: The Last Man has arrived!
Solex goes to raise the microphone up to his lips but suddenly the lights in the arena go completely out.
Joe Hoffman: We just suffered a power outage here live folks!
Everything is pitch black for a few moments until a single spotlight shines over the ring. The crowd boos as Solex is handcuffed in the center of the ring and being held down by both STRONKETTE and Choi. Jace stands over Solex with the microphone in his hand now.
Davidson: You’re not as smart as you think you are, Steve. See, you thought I decided not to show up last week because of your little Solexecution after the steel cage match at the Lethal Lottery. Time and time again, Lee Best and the rest of you Final Alliance imbeciles continue to underestimate me.
The crowd boos as Solex tries to fight his way off of the canvas.
Davidson: You thought you did something worthwhile by stacking the deck against me. Yet, I survived the little setup two weeks ago. Just like later tonight when I team with Conor Fuse to take on you and Christopher America. The man that you wronged while in the Highwaymen. The man that would rather have me in the Final Alliance than you. And tonight? I prove you to be the fraud that you are.
Solex tries barking back and kicking at Davidson.
Davidson: You’re only the #1 wrestler in HOW by technicality. Beating on the likes of Bobbinette Carey, Xander Azula, and Darin Zion doesn’t make you special, Steve. It just means you were put against a few sure wins. Yet, for all that trouble, for all that effort. Here you are, at my mercy and your fate of even making it to March 2 Glory in the palm of my hand. I want to hear you beg, Steve. I want to hear you beg me not to end you right here and right now.
Jace reaches into the pocket of his jacket and pulls out something.
Davidson: Or I can give you the same treatment all those poor souls the last few weeks have suffered.
Davidson drops a King of Spades playing card down onto the chest of the Solex.
Joe Hoffman: So it’s been Davidson all along that has been laying waste to independent wrestlers at Chaos events!
Benny Newell: It took you that long to figure it out?!
Choi and STRONKETTE allow Solex to sit upright and Steve immediately spits in Davidson’s face.
Joe Hoffman: I think Jace just got his answer!
Davidson wipes his face and then begins shouting.
Davidson: GET HIM OFF THE CANVAS! GET HIM UP TO ALL FOURS! NOW!!!
Jace drops the microphone and then backs up toward the corner. Choi and STRONKETTE pull Solex up to all fours as Jace signals that he’s going to hit a defenseless Solex with Bend the Knee.
Benny Newell: Thank Lee! Here comes the EPU!
The lights in the arena come back on fully as members of the EPU rush the ring. Jace and company flee the ring and exit through the crowd. Davidson points and shouts toward Solex.
Joe Hoffman: Solex almost got his head caved in before tonight’s main event but thanks to the EPU our main event this evening just got even more explosive!
Benny Newell: Davidson just made a grave mistake. Steve Solex is going to rip his head off and shit down his throat later tonight in the main event!
Joe Hoffman: I have a feeling the LSD Championship match at March 2 Glory is going to be absolutely explosive but we need to take a commercial break. Stay tuned ladies and gentlemen!
HOMECOMING
Back live from commercial and the HOV comes to life and a video begins to play….
A persistent patter of a light winter rain begins to play. Slowly, as the camera pulls into focus, we are greeted with the words ‘MANCHESTER UNITED’ in large red letters. As we pan out, our setting is revealed to be Old Trafford, home to the aforementioned soccer club and venue for the upcoming March to Glory.
Below the stadium’s imposing steel scaffolding stands a somewhat bedraggled figure, his rain-matted fringe poking out from beneath a floppy turn-of-the-century hat. The rest of his attire is equally ostentatious, and just as inappropriate for the damp Manchester weather: Edwardian velvet frock coat, Victorian lace shirt, suede boots, several delicate silk scarves hanging from his neck. He holds the ivory handle of an umbrella, a tool with which to gesticulate as much as to protect from the rain. The stranger looks to the sky.
Speaker: Ah, the great British weather. An institution as quintessentially British as Big Ben, cricket, or afternoon tea. Well allow me to introduce you to yet another British institution. My name is Charles de Lacy.
de Lacy rolls his hand in a pompously formal greeting
de Lacy: Now, I’m sure that anyone even vaguely familiar with our fair sport will know my name. I am, after all, a man of great standing, both in and out of the ring. But for those of you who don’t know me…
de Lacy clicks his tongue, shaking his head gently.
de Lacy: Listen, I could stand here and dazzle you with a list of accolades as long as your knuckle-dragging arms! But I won’t, because modesty prevents me from doing so. What’s more, time is money and, due to some unfortunate circumstances beyond my control, I am a little short of both.
de Lacy’s head drops momentarily
De Lacy: You see, it is often presumed that the world is a kinder place to those of us born with the proverbial silver spoon in our mouths.
de Lacy chuckles sardonically
De Lacy: Would that it were so simple!
For while it is true that I come from exceptionally good stock, we live in the era of the imposter. The charlatan. The cheat. No longer can a man depend on his good name. A name gilded by centuries of impeccable conduct and comport. No, today a man’s name counts for nothing. We live in a disgusting world of opportunistic lottery ticket holders looking for a quick buck, a quick kick, a cheap thrill.
de Lacy’s cheeks darken. He pauses briefly, as if to regain his composure.
De Lacy: I am DIFFERENT. The last of a dying breed, it could be said. Those whose mere survival was always the stuff of minor miracle. The men who fought ingenious wars, side-stepped tornadoes and triumphed in the face of adversity. The last of the great avuncular magicians, astounding their audience not with feats of strength, but feats of intellect and ingenuity.
I have devoted 25 years of my life to this business. 25 years of blood and sweat and…
de Lacy bites his trembling lip
de Lacy: And what do I have to show for it? NOTHING. I’m shuffled from one God-forsaken provincial territory to the next like some bloody transient! Well, that’s about to change. HOW isn’t just another road stop on the way to retirement for Charles de Lacy. Oh no. This is where I cement my legacy. And where better to start that journey than in my own backyard?
de Lacy gestures behind him
de Lacy: For too long this industry has wallowed in a gutter of its own making. Glorified circus acts flipping and flopping around the ring. Weapons used to incapacitate opponents. Men laying hands on women! This used to be a sport of integrity and class. Well, come March to Glory that’s just what you’ll get. If my name’s not Charles de Lacy, that’s what you’ll get! HOW is set for a lesson in etiquette it will NEVER forget.
With that the camera pans up to the letters atop the stadium once more, pausing a moment before fading to black as the video ends.
#16 BRIAN HOLLYWOOD VS. #13 XANDER AZULA
We cut from the HOV back to the ring with Bryan McVay standing by. In the background–Matt Boettcher is slowly making his way to the ring.
Bryan McVay: The following singles contest is scheduled for one fall…
Before the ground can chime in and repeat Bryan’s line back the whistling intro of “Engel” plays over the PA system, setting the crowd off in a chorus of boos as Xander Azula steps out onto the stage, surveying the crowd with a snarl on his face.
Bryan McVay: Making his way to the ring from Long Beach, California….pleeeeease welcome….XAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNDER AZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULA!
The crowd show their disdain for Xander, whose snarl fades into a smirk as he taunts those jeering him during his journey to the ring, sliding in to get ready for the match at hand before leaning against the nearest turnbuckle.
“Stronger on your Own” by Disturbed blares over the PA. However, instead of taking his time to enter the ring–the focused Brian Hollywood charges into the ring. No pyro, no pomp or circumstances. Brian Hollywood is looking for a heated fight because he’s come up so close the last few weeks against Christopher America and Conor Fuse.
Joe Hoffman: This is the most determined I’ve seen Brian Hollywood in a long time. Over the past few weeks he’s taken the HOW World Champion and the #1 Contender to their limits. Hollywood’s not waiting to get this match started. He’s barrelling down that ramp–looking to make an impact straight away tonight here in Madison Square Garden.
Hollywood slides down the ring, going past Bryan McVay and Matt Boettcher.
Bryan McVay: And from Los Angeles, California…
BAM! WHAM!
Joe Hoffman: IMMEDIATE KICK TO THE GUT BY HOLLYWOOD STRAIGHT INTO THE PATENTED JUMPING CUTTER—THE PAPERCUT. Hollywood’s looking to put away his former Tag Partner and Heated Rival away right now…making short work of Xander.
Boettcher dives straight to the mat.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE….
No! Xander immediately kicks out of the foray. Boettcher gets back to his feet and motions for the bell to get this contest underway.
DING! DING! DING! DING!
Hollywood wastes no time in assaulting Xander out the gates for kicking out. Brian mounts the Fighter in the middle of the ring. Punch and punch gets laid straight into Xander’s jawline. Hollywood will not let up on Xander. Boettcher rushes over and pulls Hollywood off the downed Xander Azula. Barking straight into Boettcher’s face–Hollywood unleashes a verbal onslaught on Matt Boettcher to the delight of the New York crowd. As Xander gets back up to his feet–Hollywood launches himself straight off the ropes with a viscious looking Clothesline From Hell. Once again, the frustrated Hollywood goes for the cover.
ONE!
TWO!
THRE…
Matt Boettcher: NO! ROPE BREAK! ROPE BREAK!
Boettcher’s audible call pisses off Brian Hollywood. Hollywood lunges at Xander, grabbing the ropes. Brian’s putting extra pepper into his mudhole stomps. Boettcher immediately calls for a count.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
FIVE…
Hollywood grabs his hair, completely hellbent to continue, almost in a psychotic trance paces around the ring. Azula slides outside to get some rest. But Hollywood isn’t having this shit tonight. Brian Hollywood charges past Boettcher unleashing a Suicide Dive onto Xander Azula. Brian Hollywood pounds his chest in a primal rage. The NYC crowd is drinking it up. Xander tries to separate himself from Hollywood, but the cunning Los Angeles Executive locks eyes with Xander. As Azula rests against the stairs, Brian connects to Xander jaw first with the big boot. Before Boettcher can yell out “SIX” on his count–Hollywood rolls Xander back into the ring.
Brian slides back into the ring. Hollywood attempts to set up Xander in the Boston Crab…
ONE!
TWO!
THR…
Joe Hoffman: SMALL PACKAGE OUT OF NOWHERE BY XANDER AZULA!!!!! Holy crap, where did Xander find that energy.
This energy pisses Hollywood off more. Brian mobilizes himself back up to his feet. Going for the high risk, Brian charges straight at Xander with his patented Executive Degree kick. As Hollywood inches closer to his rival.
SPLAT!!!
Joe Hoffman: HOLLYWOOD’S FOOT GOES STRAIGHT INTO THE TURNBUCKLE AS XANDER ESCAPES! Both men are intensely fighting over this victory on the go-home edition of Chaos. The rabid NYC crowd is eating this up. Xander’s wasting no time.
Azula quickly gets into the corner, unleashing a flurry of punches and kicks on Hollywood’s face. Azula pulls Hollywood up in the corner. Firing fist after fist into Hollywood’s brain–it only pisses off the Executive One. Hollywood attempts to hoist Xander up for the Power Bomb…
ONE!
TWO!
Joe Hoffman: Once again Xander isn’t taking Hollywood lightly doing the Hurricanarana into a pin attempt. Over the last few weeks–Xander’s incorporating new moves into his move set–hoping to catch an opponent off guard. Hollywood’s been distracted by the news of his new brother–his shortcomings of his main event caliber opponents. It’s almost like Hollywood’s not done his homework on Xander.
The frustrated Brian Hollywood pounds the mat. Azula charges at Brian Hollywood with a neckbreaker. However, the angered Hollywood scopes Xander off his feet with a new move of his own. Slamming Xander on the mat with a perfect sidewalk slam, Hollywood gains control of the match once more. As Azula yelps out in pain, Brian picks Xander off the mat. Unleashing an onslaught of German Suplex–Brian releases after a fourth one. Brian scales the ropes with an obsessed look on his face.
Joe Hoffman: Hollywood’s thinking one thing right now–the Diving Headbutt. It’s the high risk–high reward type of move Hollywood needs right now.
As Hollywood motions for the move, suddenly Xander leaps up from the mat. Xander scales the mat quickly—nailing a picture perfect Superplex off the top rope. Both men are lying motionless on the mat. Boettcher immediately begins a count.
ONE!
TWO!
Joe Hoffman: Once again, Xander doing the impossible. Xander wants this win as much as Brian Hollywood. He damn well knows what it will mean for him if he does pull off the impossible.
THREE
FOUR
FIVE
Joe Hoffman: Brian Hollywood’s pulling himself off the mat.
SIX
SEVEN
BAM!
Joe Hoffman: A neck breaker from out of nowhere by Xander. Now Xander’s paying Hollywood back for those stiff jaw shots earlier in the match.
Boettcher rushes over complaining about Xander’s closed fists. It’s now the perfect opportunity for the Executive One to seize this match. Hollywood kips up straight to his feet. This possessed man starts signing the papers. As soon as Boettcher gets out of the way…
BLAM!!!!
Joe Hoffman: EXECUTIVE PROMISE….cover by Hollywood…
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!!
Hollywood leaps up in celebration, but no bells go off. Boettcher stops Hollywood mid celebration to show him Xander’s foot resting on the bottom rope. The veins in Hollywood’s head begin to throb.
Joe Hoffman: Brian Hollywood once again IIIIIIIINNNNNNCHES away from beating Xander. Maybe even millimeters from it. Hollywood isn’t having this Matt Boettcher.
Hollywood taunts Matt Boettcher and teaches him how to count in the middle of the ring. Xander pulls himself off the mat. Xander rushes towards Hollywood, trying to hit the Snub in his groggy state–
But Hollywood ducks out of the way. Brian’s had enough of coming up short too often. Hollywood rushes the ropes, attempting to nail the Executive Decree from behind on Xander—
BUT NO!!!!! Xander hears Hollywood coming from behind him. As Hollywood pulls himself back to his feet, Xander comes out of nowhere with the Fist of Eris. Azula nails Hollywood straight in the jaw. Matt Boettcher goes down to make the cover.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!!!!!!!
DING! DING! DING! DING!
Joe Hoffman: OOOOOOOH! Tough break from Brian Hollywood…..once again coming up short in a win he desperately needed. Tonight Xander Azula pulled off the upset win against Brian Hollywood in this highly contested match up on this Go Home Edition of Chaoas.
Brian Hollywood’s laying on the mat out cold. After Matt Boettcher finishes checking on Hollywood–he gets over to Xander Azula. Boettcher raises Azula’s hand straight into the air at the disdain of the NYC crowd.
Bryan McVay: Here is your winner after 9 minutes and 30 seconds…XAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNDEERRRRR….
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMM!
Joe Hoffman: WHAT THE—It’s TOUGH LOVE DARIN ZION! He just waffled Azula with his Wrestler of the Month Trophy. Xander’s now joining Hollywood out in La La Land. The NYZ crowd is going nuts–hooooonking their ever living brains off at this wild Zion appearance.
Crowd: HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK!
Darin Zion looks over towards Hollywood’s lifeless body and makes sure to spit on his lifeless former partner’s carcass. Wasting no time–REAL LOVE continues to smack Xander over the head with his trophy until it gushes the winner of the match open. Blood pours everywhere while Zion smears Xander’s blood over his chest.
Darin Zion: It’s YOUR fault this happened tonight Xander. THIS BLOOD IS ON YOOOOOOOOUR hands, bitch.
Darin Zion slides out of the ring before HOW officials can pull him out. REAL LOVE taunts at what he’s done before the scene fades to our next commercial break.
SEEING 97RED
We come back from commercial to find Xander Azula, wiping blood of his face with a towel after the mess he went through moments ago, his Eternal Circle followers tending to his wounds as he starts shouting obscenities. After what seems like ages of language probably NOT suited for High Octane Television, we finally catch on to some more intelligible conversation.
Xander Azula: Oh, Darin…Darin, Darin, Darin…you want me seein’ red, do ya? Thought there needed to be a bit more color to the canvas? Well, since you felt a need to stick your nose in MY business…I’m going to make it YOUR business.
He pulls away from his crew, his eyes staring down the camera with intensity as he continues.
Xander Azula: Last year at March To Glory, I made my feelings clear when I knocked you down to the curb. That was me and you through, Darin…or so I thought. I spent the rest of the year forging my own unsanctioned path, and Hollywood was the first stepping stone. When that was done, so was I with Brian Hollywood…or so I thought. Between failed tag team runs last year, and the nonsense I just went through tonight, it’s clear to me that I haven’t escaped the magnetic pull of mediocrity with you two…so I’m putting my damn foot down.
Xander slams his foot on the floor to emphasize this point, that angry glare not wavering as Xander continues once more.
Xander Azula: It’s time we settle this once and for all, so I can move the hell on. I’ll take on both of you if I have to, if that’s what it takes to get what’s rightfully mine…some peace and quiet, for once, as I focus on the next phase of my career. Hollywood, Zion, if it’s a March To Glory moment you want so badly, your wish is my command…but you’d better be careful what you wish for.
With that, Xander storms offscreen followed by his crew as we cut away!
EPIC HEADACHE (?)
We cut somewhere else backstage…..
The camera pans through the halls till we hear voices seeming to be arguing. The door has a star with the name “Bobbinette Carey” across it. The door is ajar so we can see through the slit in the door. We see Bobbinette Carey looking in the mirror at herself. There doesn’t appear to be anyone in the room.
Bobbinette: You took over most of the match and we still lost last week.
She says pointing at the mirror angrily.
Bobbinette reflection: I had that shit handled until you had to fucking interfere!
Bobbinette: Your “handling it” was showboating. Really? A hockey jersey and a beer. None of that screams Queen of Epiness and you kicked him in the dick!
Bobbinette reflection: You’ve done way fuckin worse! Plus he still cheated… we had that belt.
Bobbinette: The green mist.. that’s so gross.. like serious germs and staining clothes! Let’s add insult to injury, Aceldama!
Bobbinette reflection: Fuckin Ace…. I HATE him…
Bobbinette: You “handled” that too, right scooter?
The reflection rolls her eyes scoffing
Bobbinette reflection: That’s not my fault. Man knows how to carry a grudge. You pissed him off Carey as usual.
Bobbinette: Twelve years ago! Plus whatever you did to him in HATE… No one can let shit go here.
Bobbinette reflection: I made him a fucking star in HATE. Plus you know it would be a shorter list. The list of people you haven’t pissed off!!
Bobbinette: This is about your damn ego Scooter. You’re not helping me win. I’ve lost more since you’ve decided to take up residence like I’m a timeshare.
Bobbinette reflection: From what we all know it’s not the first time you’ve been used Carey let’s be honest. You’d be lost without me Carey! You fuckin know it!
Bobbinette: Not like you’ve given me the chance. You died and decided instead of staying dead to possess your “best friend”. I didn’t agree to this! How did you die? Scott Stevens Killed you!! You lost that match too.
Bobbinette reflection: You’re just mad that I’m better at being you than you are. You couldn’t let someone help you because you’re fuckin stubborn and can’t share.
Bobbinette: I am epic at sharing.. but I am done letting you make decisions for us.
Bobbinette reflection: You’re not capable of making good decisions. Therapy with Conor? He doesn’t need that shit. And don’t get me started on the kissy text messages to whoever the hell…
Bobbinette: Not your business scooter!
Bobbinette reflection: You’ve been focused on the wrong things Carey. Quit thinking with your dick then maybe we can focus on fixing our career.
Bobbinette: Our? You mean mine!
The door slightly creaks as the camera slips causing Bobbinette to notice her conversation is being watched.
Bobbinette: Okay creep! You don’t peep in a women’s locker room!
Bobbinette says charging towards the camera man and shoving him out and slamming the door on them as the camera feed cuts abruptly as we head to commercial.
THE FINAL ALLIANCE VS. #3 BERGMAN AND #16 STEVENS
Coming back from the commercial break we focus on the ringside area where Jatt Starr and Dan Ryan are both inside the ring. Across the ring from them stands Scott Stevens as Bryan McVay raises the microphone up to his lips.
Bryan McVay: And his partner…
The opening piano played by Billy Powell followed by the iconic guitar licks from Gary Rossington’s slide guitar at the beginning of Lynyrd Skynyrd’s epic ‘FREEBIRD’ blare out of the speakers.
Joe Hoffman: Welcome back to Chaos ladies and gentlemen. We’re live from Madison Square Garden and it’s tag team action on tap. We have Jatt Starr and Dan Ryan already in the ring along with Scott Stevens and now we’ll get the HOTv Champion to join this party.
Benny Newell: You mean to tell me we missed the entrances for members of The Final Alliance and Scott Stevens but the Evil Empire gets an entrance on live television?! Someone in the truck better get a bottomline tonight!
Seconds later, the lovely Sunny O’Callahan emerges from the back dressed in the fashion of a female background singer from a late seventies Southern rock band wearing a spaghetti strap top, a pair of jeans, heels, and her usually straight hair is all frizzed out and curly.
Sunny takes a swig from a bottle of Southern Comfort and sways on the stage as Ronnie Van Zant’s vocals come on over the sound system.
“If I leave here tomorrow… will you still remember me?”
Bryan McVay: From Plattin, Missouri, weighing in tonight at 215 lbs. He is the current HOTv Champion. Here is JOE! BERGMAN!
“For I must be traveling on now… ‘Cause there’s too many places I want to see…”
Joe Bergman comes out dressed as normal in a plain black robe over his wrestling trunks with the HOTv Championship belt around his waist.
“But if I stayed here with you girl… Things just couldn’t be the same…”
Joe Hoffman: Joe Bergman is the last man to enter this tag team match but as many of you know already. The three men in this ring will all face Joe Bergman at March 2 Glory where the HOTv Championship belt will be on the line.
“Cause I’m a free as a bird now… and this bird you cannot change…”
Benny Newell: What you’re trying to say is that Joe Bergman is walking into a no-win situation. Jatt Starr and Dan Ryan both can’t stand Joe Bergman. And Scott Stevens worships Lee Best. This isn’t going to be a handicapped match, it’s going to be a three-on-one beatdown of the Evil Empire here on the last Chaos before the PPV.
The crowd roars. Joe pumps his first in the air.
“And this bird you cannot change…”
With Sunny leading the way, she and Bergman start down the ramp toward the ring.
Joe Hoffman: I wish I could say that you’re wrong, Benny, but I know better than anyone what it would mean for any of these three men to rough up Bergman before March 2 Glory. I couldn’t blame Bergman if he just decided not to wrestle this match but that’s not what Joe is all about. He’s going to come out here and fight no matter the situation because he is a man of the people!
“And this bird you cannot change…”
Bergman slaps people’s hands along the way to the ring.
“And this bird you cannot change…”
Benny Newell: Man of the people? What a load of bull. I hope the people pitch in and help to pay Joe Bergman’s hospital bills after this match is over. When the Final Alliance and Stevens are done tonight, we’ll have to ship Joe Bergman to England in a box like a Star Wars Lego set.
Joe climbs up on the ring apron and opens a path for Sunny to climb into the ring. Then he leaps over the top rope and climbs up on the turnbuckle.
“Lord knows, I can’t change”
Looking out over the ropes with Sunny right by his side, Joe raises his arms in the air and a can of PBR in tribute to the ‘ordinary people’ in attendance tonight and, of course, Section 214. Bryan McVay exits the ring along with Sunny. Bergman hands his robe and title belt off to Sunny as Hortega checks with both teams. Once everyone confirms they are ready Hortega calls for the bell.
DING DING
Bergman starts out the match for his team as Jatt convinces Dan Ryan to let him start first against Joe. Both men circle each other as the crowd is buzzing. Joe and Jatt close the gap and go to lock up but Jatt sneaks in a poke to the eye that causes Bergman to stagger. The crowd boos loudly as Jatt unleashes a series of chops to Bergman’s chest. Jatt grabs Bergman by the arm and then whips him into the ropes but Bergman reverses the whip. Jatt bounces off the ropes as Bergman swings with a clothesline but Jatt ducks under it. Jatt grabs a hold of Bergman from behind and then hits him with the JATTLANTIAN SUPLEX down to the canvas hard.
Joe Hoffman: Big-time German suplex by Jatt Starr who got the advantage with a thumb to the eye earlier in the match.
Benny Newell: What you call a thumb to the eye I call Jatt sneezing. Bergman spends all of his time hanging out in a barn with all kinds of farm animals. That triggered Jatt’s allergies and it was just an involuntary reflex.
Jatt gets right back up to his feet but Bergman isn’t far behind him. Jatt grabs a hold of Bergman from behind again and locks him in a sleeper hold. Bergman tries to fight it but Jatt drops down to the canvas and connects with JATTISFACTION. Jatt gets back up to his feet and plays to the crowd a little bit. Dan Ryan yells at Jatt to stay focused as Stevens stomps his foot on the canvas. Jatt steps through the ropes and begins to climb the turnbuckle. Jatt balances himself on the top rope then leaps off and nails Bergman with an elbow from the top rope straight to the heart. Jatt hooks the leg and makes the cover on Bergman as Hortega slides in for the count.
Joel Hortega: UNO
Joel Hortega: DOS
Bergman is able to kick out at two.
Joe Hoffman: Jatt Starr connected with an elbow drop from the top rope right to the chest of Joe Bergman but it wasn’t enough to keep the HOTv Champion for the three count.
Benny Newell: Bergman is too dumb to know when to just stay down and get out of here tonight in one piece. I can’t believe a man would willingly continue a beating from three different people before stepping in the ring with them again with the HOTv Championship on the line.
Jatt gets back up to his feet and then grabs a hold of one of Bergman’s legs. Jatt begins to kick at it relentlessly before signaling to the crowd. Jatt begins to lock Bergman into a figure four but Bergman uses his good leg to push Jatt away. Bergman grabs a hold of the ropes to pull himself up to his feet. Jatt charges and goes for the STARRLITE EXPRESS but Bergman moves out of the way and causes Jatt to slam shoulder-first into the steel ring post.
Joe Hoffman: Jatt tried to cut Bergman in half for that spear but Joe showed great ring awareness being able to move out of the way. Jatt collided with the ring post hard but now Joe needs to make the tag.
Bergman gets to his feet and sees Stevens’ outstretched hand asking to be tagged into the match. Joe looks at Stevens cautiously but decides to tag him into the match. Stevens enters the ring but Jatt has pulled himself away from the ring post and made the tag into Dan Ryan. The 300-plus pounder enters the ring and that makes Stevens stop for a moment.
Benny Newell: Both Texans are in the ring now and both of them swear loyalty to Lee Best. These two boys are going to be slapping meat but they won’t be the only ones!
Stevens rushes in and begins to pepper Dan Ryan with punches to the face. Dan is rocked back toward the ropes with each shot. Stevens grabs a hold of Dan and whips him into the ropes but Dan reverses the whip. Stevens bounces off the ropes and then ducks a clothesline from Ryan. Stevens bounces off the other side of the ropes as Dan Ryan turns around. Stevens hits Dan Ryan with a TEXAS HAMMER that takes the big man off of his feet. Dan rolls to the corner and pulls himself up to his feet. Stevens gets a running start and then leaps into the air and hits Dan Ryan with a STINGER SPLASH in the corner. Ryan falls to the canvas in the corner as Stevens begins to lay in mudhole stomps to the Final Alliance member. Hortega comes over and pulls Stevens away from the corner.
Joe Hoffman: So far, Scott Stevens is holding true to his word that he would play this clean and do his part in this match against the Final Alliance.
Benny Newell: It’s all a part of the plan. Stevens acts like he’s against the Final Alliance and lulls Bergman into a false sense of security. And that’s when Mr. Ordinary gets a beating of a lifetime.
Dan Ryan pulls himself up to his feet and out of the corner as Stevens measures him up. Stevens gets a running start and then leaps into the air and connects with THE FIST. Dan Ryan staggers backward and then falls over the top rope onto the ring apron. Dan pulls himself up to his feet on the ring apron as Stevens charges and goes for REMEMBER THE ALAMO but Ryan swaps the superkick away. Dan Ryan grabs a hold of Stevens and then pulls him out to the ring apron. Ryan hooks Stevens up and goes for a full nelson slam off of the ring apron but Stevens manages to counter.
Joe Hoffman: TOXIC STING OFF THE RING APRON AND DOWN TO THE ARENA FLOOR!
The crowd pops loudly as both Ryan and Stevens hit the arena floor hard. Inside the ring, Hortega begins a ten count while both men remain motionless on the floor. Sunny comes off and begins to scream at Stevens to get up. Bergman hops down off the apron and helps Stevens pick Dan Ryan up and roll him back into the ring. Stevens climbs to the ring apron and then begins to climb the turnbuckle. Stevens balances himself on the top rope and then leaps off and hits Ryan with a diving headbutt. Stevens hooks the leg and makes the cover on Ryan as Hortega slides in.
Joel Hortega: UNO
Joel Hortega: DOS
Dan Ryan launches Stevens off of him at the count of two.
Benny Newell: Even after all of that, Dan Ryan just tossed Scott Stevens like a sack of potatoes. Stevens has angered the beast. If Stevens is smart he goes and tags in Bergman and lets him face the wrath of Dan Ryan.
Stevens lands on the canvas hard as Dan Ryan begins to pull himself up to his feet. Stevens gets a running start toward Dan but Ryan catches Stevens and rocks him with a spinebuster down to the canvas. Ryan pulls himself up to his feet and tries to shake his head to clear some of the cobwebs as Stevens pulls himself back up to his feet. Dan grabs a hold of Stevens and then launches towards the Final Alliance corner with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. Stevens hits the canvas hard as Ryan pulls himself up to his feet. Stevens uses the ropes in the corner to pull himself to his feet but Dan Ryan closes in and then begins to ram repeated shoulder blocks into Stevens’ midsection. Hortega comes over and starts a five count which Dan stops at 4.999999. Hortega tries to admonish Ryan but it gives Jatt the opportunity to reach into the ring and begin to choke Stevens.
Joe Hoffman: Dan Ryan has turned the tide of his match and now Scott Stevens is trapped in the Final Alliance corner. Hortega is reading Dan Ryan the riot act but doesn’t see Jatt Starr illegally choking Stevens right now.
Benny Newell: Scott Stevens is getting double-teamed by the Final Alliance but do you see Joe Bergman coming into the ring to help his partner right now? The Evil Empire doesn’t care about anyone other than members of the Evil Empire.
Jatt lets go of Stevens before Hortega turns around. Dan Ryan walks over and then grabs a hold of Stevens. Dan Ryan peels Stevens away from the corner and then spins him around. Ryan locks Stevens into a full nelson hold then hoists him into the air and this time sends him crashing down the canvas with a full nelson slam. Dan Ryan makes his way to the ring apron and then starts to climb the turnbuckle. Dan Ryan perches himself on the top rope as Stevens slowly begins to pull himself back up to a vertical base. Stevens turns around as Ryan leaps from the top rope and nails him with a flying clothesline. Ryan pulls himself up to his feet and then grabs a hold of Stevens by the hair. Ryan hoists Stevens high into the air for a vertical suplex. Dan makes Stevens think about it for a moment or two before spiking him down to the canvas with a screwdriver. Dan Ryan hooks the leg and makes the cover on Stevens as Hortega slides in.
Joel Hortega: UNO
Joel Hortega: DOS
Joel Hortega: TR–
NO! BERGMAN COMES IN AND BREAKS UP THE COUNT!
Joe Hoffman: Dan Ryan just about put Scott Stevens through the mat with that screwdriver but Joe Bergman came in and saved the match for his team!
Benny Newell: For his team? There is no team here! Joe Bergman is just hoping that Dan Ryan and Jatt Starr will continue to beat down Scott Stevens so there is one less opponent for him at March 2 Glory!
Hortega gets up to his feet and begins to force Joe back to his corner but Bergman begins shouting towards Dan Ryan. The 300-plus pounder snarls towards Bergman and dares him to come do something about it. Bergman exits to the ring apron as Stevens begins to use the ropes to pull himself up to his feet. Dan Ryan grabs a hold of Stevens and then hoists him up into the air once again. Ryan goes for a second screwdriver but Stevens counters and hits Dan with the SCORPION DEATH DROP that sends him down to the canvas. Both men are down as Hortega starts a ten count. Dan Ryan is the first man to start moving and makes the tag to Jatt Starr. Jatt comes into the ring and immediately begins to stomp away at Stevens before he can make it up his corner. Jatt picks Stevens up off of the canvas and then hits him with the MANJATTAN DROP. Stevens’ legs buckle but Jatt grabs him and whips him into the ropes. Stevens bounces off the ropes but Joe reaches in and makes the blind tag.
Joe Hoffman: Bergman is the legal man!
Jatt leaps into the air and hits Stevens with the ART STARR-KNEE down to the canvas. Jatt gets back up his feet as Bergman springboards to the top rope. Bergman leaps off and then hits Jatt with a hurricanrana down to the canvas. Bergman gets back up to his feet and then races towards the ropes. Bergman bounces off the ropes as Jatt begins to sit upright. Bergman leaps into the air and hits Jatt with a running seated senton. Bergman gets up to his feet and then steps through the ropes before climbing the turnbuckle. Bergman gets his balances on the top rope and then signals that he’s going for the 450 splash.
Benny Newell: Here comes Dan Ryan!
The 300-plus pounder barrels across the ring and hits Bergman causing him to get crotched on the top turnbuckle. The crowd boos loudly but then Stevens enters the ring and goes after Dan Ryan. Stevens fires off shots but Ryan just shrugs him off. Dan turns around and charges towards Stevens. Ryan goes for a running big boot but Stevens moves out of the way and Dan gets crotched along the top rope. Stevens hits Dan with a big clothesline that sends both men over the top rope and down to the arena floor below. Jatt Starr gets to his feet and then makes his way over towards the corner. Jatt begins to climb the turnbuckle where Bergman is still crotched.
Joe Hoffman: Bergman was going for the 450 splash but thanks to Dan Ryan that plan failed. With both Stevens and Ryan on the outside, Jatt Starr looks to take advantage.
Benny Newell: Stevens and Dan Ryan are going to pretend to be hurt on the outside of the ring. That way, Jatt Starr gets his moment to finish off Joe Bergman once and for all. No more Evil Empire, just the way Lee Best drew it up.
Jatt climbs the turnbuckle and then grabs a hold of Bergman. Joe tries to fight back with shots to the midsection but Jatt hits him with clubbing blows to the back of the neck. Jatt pulls Bergman up and over with a superplex from the top rope. Both men hit the canvas hard as Stevens and Ryan continued to fight on the outside of the ring. Slowly, Jatt is the first one back up to his feet followed by Bergman. Jatt races towards the ropes as Bergman tries to find his balance. Jatt bounces off the ropes and then cuts Bergman in half.
Joe Hoffman: STARRLITE EXPRESS! BERGMAN IS DOWN AND ALL JATT HAS TO DO IS MAKE THE COVER!
Benny Newell: OH NO… THAT WAS GOOD BUT THIS REQUIRES A STATEMENT BE MADE! JOE BERGMAN HAS BEEN A THORN IN HOW’S SIDE FOR TOO LONG! JATT IS GOING TO BEAT HIM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING WITH HIS BEST MOVE!
Jatt indeed gets back up to his feet and yells for Bergman to get up off of the canvas. On the outside, Dan Ryan yeets Stevens shoulder first into the steel ring steps. As Bergman staggers back up to a vertical base, Jatt grabs a hold of him and hooks him up for the FALLING STARR but Bergman quickly turns and counters with a backslide. Jatt shoulders are on the canvas as Hortega slides in.
Joel Hortega: UNO
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Joel Hortega: DOS
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Joel Hortega: TRES!!!
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NO! DAN RYAN DIVES INTO THE RING AND BREAKS UP THE COUNT!!!
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……BUT A SPLIT SECOND TOO LATE!!!
DING DING DING!!!
Bryan McVay: Here are your winners… the team of SCOTT STEVENS & THE HOTV CHAMPION JOE BERGMANNNN!!!
Joe Hoffman: BERGMAN DID IT! HE PULLED OUT THE WIN BY SURPRISING JATT STARR WITH THAT BACKSLIDE!
Benny Newell: UNBELIEVABLE! BERGMAN CHEATED RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE REFEREE AGAIN!!!
Bergman staggers up to feet and gets his hand raised in victory as Jatt is on his knees in disbelief. The crowd cheers wildly but it soon turns to loud boos as Dan Ryan levels Bergman with a running clothesline to the back of the head.
Joe Hoffman: Joe Bergman won this match fair and square! But, of course, not that the match is over. The Final Alliance beatdown can begin!
Benny Newell: Did Bergman honestly believe he could get away with the things he’s been doing and not suffer here tonight?! No one escapes the wrath of Lee Best, NO ONE!
Ryan helps Jatt up to his feet and then both men start putting the boots to the fallen Joe Bergman. On the outside Scott Stevens pulls himself up to his feet and accesses the situation going on inside of the ring. Stevens takes a moment to decide if he wants to help Bergman or join in on the beatdown but Sunny comes up from behind him.
Joe Hoffman: SUNNY O’CALLAHAN JUST TASED SCOTT STEVENS ON THE OUTSIDE!
Benny Newell: WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?! HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN BEFORE SOMEONE FRISKS HER BEFORE SHE COMES OUT HERE?!
Stevens hits the arena floor and begins to convulse in pain but Ryan and Starr continue to beatdown Joe Bergman in the middle of the ring. Suddenly, the crowd stands on their feet and cheer loudly.
Joe Hoffman: HERE COME THE ALABAMA GANG!!!
The HOTv World Tag Team Champions come racing down the ramp and slide into the ring. Dan Ryan and Jatt Starr exit the ring quickly and begin to make their way back up the ramp yelling at the HOTv World Tag Team Champions.
Benny Newell: Can we go one week without MVW wrestlers on our show?!
Joe Hoffman: All hell has broken loose but thankfully the HOTv World Tag Team Champions have prevented the Final Alliance from taking out Joe Bergman before March 2 Glory!
IT’S A DATE
While Hendry and Sunny check on Bergman and Scott Stevens deals with just being zapped with a taser, Jenkins calls for a microphone. Bryan McVay obliges and hands one to him.
Joe Hoffman: Joe Bergman and Scott Stevens get the win here tonight going into their big four-way match for the HOTv title at March to Glory. Then Dan Ryan decked Bergman… Jatt Starr joined in the beatdown… and then Sunny O’Callahan tasered Scott Stevens.
Benny Newell: I hate Scott Stevens so I loved the fact he got tasered. But then again, I hate Sunny O’Callahan with a fucking passion for parading around with a bottle of whiskey in front of a recovering alcoholic. FUCK! I’M SO FUCKING CONFLICTED ABOUT THIS!
Joe Hoffman: That caused the Alabama Gang to come down to make the save.
Benny Newell: The ‘State That No One Gives Two Shits About’ goofs had to come down and stick their nose in Dan Ryan’s and Jatt Starr’s business.
Joe Hoffman: R.G. Jenkins has a microphone and I wonder what he’s going to say here?
Benny Newell: Hopefully, it’s just ’Here Dan. Here Jatt. Why don’t you take the belts’ and save us from being forced to watch these minor league never-weres get crushed by Ryan and Starr.
Jenkins then walks over to the ropes nearest Starr and Ryan on the ramp and points at them.
R.G. Jenkins: Hey boys? Where y’all going?
Jenkins spreads his arms wide at Ryan and Starr who simply stand on the ramp and glare back.
R.G. Jenkins: Mr. Starr. Mr. Ryan. Pleased to make your acquaintance. My name is R.G. Jenkins.
He points at Hendry.
R.G. Jenkins: That guy over there is Mark Hendry. We are the Alabama Gang and…
Jenkins snaps his fingers as if he’s trying to remember something.
R.G. Jenkins: …oh yeah… we’re also the HOTv Tag Team Champions!
Jenkins pauses as the crowd roars. Ryan and Starr? Not impressed.
Once the din quiets down.
R.G. Jenkins: I hear we’all got ourselves a match comin’ up and I seem to recall hearing sumthing ‘bout Dan Ryan complaining on last week’s Chaos about traveling to… bumfuck Missouri, I think… to face us for the title.
Jenkins smiles.
R.G. Jenkins: In fact, you’d like to have our match in Chicago, I hear. Since ‘cause HOW’s first show after March to Glory is goin’ to be back in Chicago… at the Best Arena, right?
Again, Ryan and Starr do not respond.
R.G. Jenkins: Right. Okay boys. You wanna fight us? You’re on.
The crowd erupts again and Jenkins again pauses and waits the noise to subside.
R.G. Jenkins: Dan Ryan and Jatt Starr versus The Alabama Gang for the HOTv Tag Team title… Sunday March 19th… in Chicago….
The crowd cheers.
Jenkins nods but then he suddenly grins.
R.G. Jenkins: …at the Joseph Gentile Center.
Joe Hoffman: WHAT?
Benny Newell: WHAT THE FUCK?
R.G. Jenkins: We’ll take you boys on… but since we’re the champions and y’all want our belts, y’all are going to have to come to our house to try and take them from us.
RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Benny Newell: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT?
R.G. Jenkins: That’s right. Mr. McAvay called Mr. Best and made all the arrangements. The Alabama Gang versus Dan Ryan and Jatt Starr for the HOTv Tag Team title will take place at Missouri Valley Wrestling’s house show in Chicago, Illinois.
R.G. turns as if he’s done talking. But then he stops and faces Ryan and Starr again.
R.G. Jenkins: Oh an’ dontcha worry, us hillbillies will somehow manage to find our way to Chicago and we’ll just see who leaves with the belts.
With Bergman back on his feet again, Sunny and Hendry walk over and join Jenkins.
R.G. Jenkins: Mark and me… we still ain’t got anything to lose here, boys. The way we see it, we’re playin’ with house money right now. Hell, no one expected us to beat Jace Parker Davidson and Scott Stevens at the PWA show and I’m damn sure no one thinks we can beat Dan Ryan and Jatt Starr either.
Jenkins shrugs. Hendry glowers at Ryan and Starr on the ramp. And Sunny takes a healthy swig from her bottle of Southern Comfort.
R.G. Jenkins: So I guess we’ll find out on Sunday March 19th. See you there.
Jenkins lets the microphone drop to the mat. He and Hendry show off their HOTv tag belts to Ryan and Starr while Sunny climbs up the corner turnbuckle and flips the men on the ramp off.
Joe Hoffman: It’s official. The Alabama Gang will defend the HOTv Tag Team titles on March 19th against Dan Ryan and Jatt Starr and it will take place at Missouri Valley Wrestling’s Chicago house show.
Benny Newell: This is bullshit, Joe. Total bullshit. Dan Ryan and Jatt Starr are going to have show up at some rinky-dink MVW show so they can take the belts?
Joe Hoffman: It’s in Chicago.
Benny Newell: But it’s not the Best Arena.
Joe Hoffman: I’ve also confirmed that the HOTv Tag Team title match will also be televised live from the Joseph Gentile Center on Chaos 25.
Benny Newell: Aw fuck it. Fine. Dan Ryan or Jatt Starr first gets the HOTv title away from that fuckwit Joe Bergman at March to Glory and the next week the HOTv Tag belts from these redneck nobodies in the ring.
As we head to a commercial break, Ryan and Starr slowly back up the ramp as the staredown continues between both teams.
97,000 WORDS
Back live and the action cuts backstage to Solex’s locker room. He’s sitting on a chair, with a sour expression on his face. He’s rubbing his wrists from where the handcuffs were.
Off camera, a shadow moves across the room and Solex looks up. He lets out an audible chuckle, completely in disbelief, as Christopher America walks over and pulls up a chair next to him. America and Solex both stare straight ahead, neither man looking at the other.
America leans back, holding the HOW World Championship.
Solex says nothing.
He bends down and begins re-lacing his boots. Midway through, he looks over at America, who is clutching the HOW World Championship close to his chest.
Solex knows all too well that look. It’s what America did with him. It’s what he did with Stanislav. It’s what he does when he feels his championship reign is in jeopardy.
America looks down at Solex. For the briefest of moments, their eyes lock before Solex goes back to lacing his boots.
America’s seen that look in Solex’s eyes before. The determination. The focus. The moment a soldier suits up, double checks everything, and prepares themselves for war.
Solex finishes re-lacing his boots. He holds out his hand as America jumps slightly. With a disgusted look on his face, America looks down at Solex’s empty hand and thinks to himself.
He wouldn’t ask for that.
He couldn’t ask for that.
Could he?
Thoughts race through his head but then he remembers that Solex couldn’t challenge him for the title so long as he was champion.
Still, cautiously, gingerly, America slowly hands over the HOW World Championship.
Solex takes the championship and holds it in his lap.
Solex’s face looks contemplative as thoughts of the missed opportunities race through his mind. He reflected on what it would be like to take the LSD Championship from Jace. To have that championship handed to him.
America begins rubbing his arms and elbows, feeling cold and naked without his championship. He, too, was lost in thoughts — thoughts of the prospect of not holding his championship anymore, worried about losing to Conor Fuse. He felt a loss and longing without the championship in his arms.
After a few more moments, Solex hands the championship back. Greedily, America snatches the title and brings it back to his chest.
America gives the title a look over, making sure everything was okay. Once he’s satisfied, he breathes a sigh of relief.
Another moment passes.
Both men continue to sit and stare straight ahead.
Finally…
America looks at Solex. And Solex looks back.
The two men nod at each other.
No words spoken.
But a lot said.
Rivals.
Hated enemies.
Americans.
And now… teammates.
The moment was upon them.
Both knew what had to be done tonight.
They didn’t have to like each other.
They just had to win together.
REPEAT OF HISTORY
The scene opens as the camera pans across a rampant and packed MSG crowd and the lights go off and the screen begins to flash a ((–A–)) red sign. A countdown begins in German and when it gets to one ‘Sonne’ by Rammstein kicks onto the PA system as the crowd go insane as they anticipate one of the first views of Aceldama. EPU guards begin to walk out from backstage and begin to line along the rampway as Aceldama walks out, still in his shackles and his hood over his head. An EPU guard removes the hood and takes out his shackles. He begins to walk down the rampway towards the ring
Joe Hoffman: Well this is unexpected! We were not expecting Aceldama this evening but it looks like he is going to grace us with his presence here at the Garden. Maybe we will get some answers as to why he attacked Bobbinette Carey last week in Pittsburgh.
Benny Newell: I hope he does! My government appointed sponsor told me that hitting a woman is wrong…….but he also snorts bath salts and is banned from Tinder, so…..yeah.
Joe Hoffman: The government appointed him?
Benny Newell: Well no, my original sponsor is doing ten years for assault and battery of some fat chick at Dairy Queen. Ah Hubert, you were such a wise man. I found T.J at Bed, Bath and Beyond, I like to think I helped HIM.
Aceldama climbs up the steps and goes over the top rope and walks towards the centre of the ring, where an EPU guard is standing awaiting him, with microphone in hand. They hand Aceldama the microphone and step back, standing beside him as Aceldama puts the microphone to his mouth
Aceldama: History, it is full of wrong doings. Many of us wish to re-write the past, to right the wrongs. Thirteen years. Thirteen years of my life taken away from me, only to be found again. I return for one thing only, redemption. I look back at my history, at my achievements, my glories. The world titles, winning War Games but they are all tarnished. One blot in my history destroys all the legacy I had, everything that I accomplished, means for nothing because of the one thing from my past that shames me……my defeat to Bobbinette Carey.
The reason it shames me is because I took her for granted. I let my guard down, and she was able to capitalise. She took the world title for me, and from then, my downfall began. I never recovered. Thirteen years later and our paths align once again. This time, I will not underestimate you but this time also, I will not make the same mistakes twice.
No matter how much you try, how much you wish to dream, you cannot re-write history. History is in the past, it becomes part of you and the only way to right the wrongs, is to focus on the present. The stars have aligned Carey and once again we stand eye to eye, last week I sent you a message, that message was simple, you’re the next target! I come to seek redemption, and redemption I will get!
Soon once again England will be watching above the skies in fear, as the Blitzkrieg will reign down upon you and I will not be forsaken, I will avenge the defeat to you all those years ago and in doing so I will remove the one thing that tarnishes my past. I will not stop Carey until your done, until I have destroyed you and ruined your career. I have made the decision Carey that this company is not big enough for the two of us, so you have to go. YOU ended my career, I wish to return the favour! In England we will meet again, but this time only one person will be standing at the end, just like I stood over your lifeless body last week. March to Glory, last person standing, I plan to bury you, once and for all!
Joe Hoffman: Aceldama has set the stage for March to Glory, a last person standing match. Aceldama looks to remove the one blemish of his past, his defeat to Bobbinette Carey by destroying her to the point she can no longer get up. He wants to end her career.
Benny Newell: Shouldn’t it be a last man standing match? All this non-binary PC shit annoys the crap out of me, snowflakes!
Joe Hoffman: Benny, Bobbinette is a woman. You literally just mentioned that earlier.
Benny Newell: Really? I had a lavender bath salt earlier so I am a bit….never mind. Well the knowledge that Carey is a woman is a relief to me, as the constant boner in her presence was getting me very confused.
Joe Hoffman: You truly are a strange man Benny. Manchester is bound for a match for the ages, thirteen years in the making. Eighty thousand fans are either going to witness redemption, or history repeating itself.
Aceldama turns to the EPU guard and goes to hand them the microphone but the guard does not respond. Aceldama simply drops it on the floor and turns around and makes his way towards the ropes as the EPU guards on the outside begin to walk up towards the ramp. Suddenly Aceldama feels a strong hit to the back of the head. Dazed he turns to notice the EPU guard, standing with knuckle dusters in their hand. Confused Aceldama falls to his knees and the guard proceeds towards him and grabs him and picks him up for a powerbomb, but does not let go and powerbombs him a second time. Aceldama lies on the canvas out cold as the EPU guard stands over his body and removes their mask. The crowd goes wild at the reveal
Joe Hoffman: It’s Bobbinette! Carey has been disguised as the EPU guard and has been in the ring the entire time!
Benny Newell: I am shocked and aroused! But mostly aroused!
Bobbinette kneels down and picks up the microphone and stands over Aceldama’s body
Bobbinette Carey: Last person standing ey? I accept! Your history is about to repeat itself bitch…..until Manchester.
The guards on the ramp realise that is happening in the ring and begin to storm down towards the ring. Bobbinette rolls under the ropes and climbs over the railings and makes her way into the crowd, climbing up the stairs. She stops at the top of the stairs as Aceldama begins to come to and catches Bobbinette’s stare as Bobbinette gives him another double middle finger as she exits the arena with Aceldama smiling in the middle of the ring
Joe Hoffman: Aceldama just got a piece of his own medicine! Carey showing she means business and the history between these two is going to be the future, as soon we will witness the next chapter in this feud, a last person standing match. Old Trafford, Manchester, I hope you are ready!
Benny Newell: Old Trafford is a building, your talking to a building Joe…….and you call me strange.
Joe can only shake his head as we cut away to our final commercial break of the evening.
COLOR OF LOVE
Back live from commercial and we cut backstage to the blood-covered Darin Zion walking down the corridors of MSG, trying to leave the premises. As Darin Zion tries to hop into a limo, a wild Brian Bare appears with microphone in hand.
Brian Bare: Darin–everyone has questions about what happened out there earlier tonight and…
Darin Zion yanks the microphone out of Brian Bare’s hands. Darin stares daggers straight at Brian Bare. REAL LOVE cracks his neck–looking to harm Bare. HOW’s most worthless reporter runs off before Zion snaps once again tonight. The camera catches the fire in Darin’s eyes while he speaks to the camera.
Darin Zion: I want to make it CRYSTAL clear what I did tonight wasn’t for Brian Hollywood. I’m not looking to reform our pathetic little Tag Team. I’m not looking to give Hollywood’s career any kind of resurgence. I made that crystal clear when I spit on that lifeless bastard’s carcass earlier tonight. Brian Hollywood’s gotten opportunity after opportunity handed to him. Hell, I’ll be the first to admit after the last two weeks–the bitch found his footing in HOW again. But like always–Brian fucking fumbles the ball at the 10 yard line and chokes when it fucking matters. He didn’t DESERVE this Hail Mary I gave tonight.
A sinister smile cracks over REAL LOVE’s face as he admires the bloody mess he created. His smile widens while he continues.
Darin Zion: See it’s the Go Home Show for March 2 Glory: UK Edition. I’m now the number 4 ranked wrestler in all of HOW. I’ve fallen down a fuckin’ spot since last week. I’m the January Wrestler of the Month. And no one wanted to take me up on a fight at March 2 Glory. No one wanted to knock me down a fuckin’ peg. I’ve got 15 matches left on my LAST EVER HOW contract. And I’m tired of getting left behind in the damn dust. I made it clear last fuckin’ week with two weeks to go on the show.
Darin Zion eyes the Wrestler of the Month Trophy behind him. His face becomes more serious.
Darin Zion: So I took matters into my own damn hands–trying to MAKE my opportunity. See Xander Azula COST me February WOTM. At Lethal Lottery—he held me back. Just all the other times Xander held me back here in HOW. From that stupid super natural gimmick to his worthless multiverse gimmick. I went out of my way to build that fucker up as the most talked about wrestler in HOW. I go out of my way during the LSD Title Tournament to put that insignificant speck behind me and kill the past—
Darin Zion shakes his head before face palming.
Darin Zion: But that fucking weasel got the luck of the draw. The little bastard came crawling back into my career–not letting any of this shit go. The bastard held me back once again from getting INCHES closer to the LSD Championship. Because I could have EARNED MORE CREDIBILITY from the win and securing those HOTv Tag Belts at March 2 Glory. But Xander couldn’t even come through and help his old “buddy” out. He wanted my spotlight. He wanted MY attention.
Darin turns his attention straight to the camera–glaring at it. His voice intensifies as he continues to speak.
Darin Zion: Well Xander–you got it tonight. I want your ass at March 2 Glory. I don’t care what stipulation Lee Best wants to give it. Hell, I don’t even give a shit if it’s sanctioned or not. Xander–haul your ass overseas for March 2 Glory. Rather Lee Best makes this shit official or we gotta beat the fuckin’ hell out of each other—we end this shit in the UK. We finish our fucking story NOW. The LSD Title DEMANDS I do this. The LSD Title desires YOUR BLOOD on my hands. The LSD Title DEMANDS nothing short of my excellence you bloody fuckin’ bastard.
REAL LOVE jumps straight in the car, grabbing his trophy, and slams the door behind him. The Limo peels off as the scene fades to black as we back to ringside.
THE FINAL ALLIANCE VS. #2 CONOR FUSE AND #5 JPD
Back live inside the sold out arena and we once again cut back to our announce team.
Joe Hoffman: Well, I do not think Zion can make it any clearer. He wants Azula at March to Glory and did everything he could tonight to make that happen and to his credit it appears Azula is game for the match as well.
Benny Newell: I am glad those two idiots are on the same page. I am SOOOOOOO happy for them. The match will not fucking happen unless Lee can make money off it. I hardly doubt drops of blood got the attention of Lee.
Joe Hoffman: That I do not know….what I do know is that Lee and EVERYONE will be paying attention to this next match…….our Main Event of the evening.
Benny Newell: Lets fucking go!!!!
The crowd stands as one as Hail to the King hits the PA system and the LSD Champion Jace Parker Davidson makes his way out from the back…..with Conor Fuse by his side.
Joe Hoffman: Well there were rumors that these two have been going back and forth all week about putting their differences aside for the greater good and …..
Benny Newell: Jace is turning on Fuse tonight. Confirmed. Book it Dano.
Joe Hoffman: Where the heck did you pull that out from?
Benny Newell: Simple really. The LSD Champion is making his way out to HIS music and Jace has been a LONG TIME ally of Lee’s. I do not care what he has been saying lately….Jace knows that he is loyal to one person in this game…….Lee Motherfucking Best. Plus Fuse is Canadian and thus too nice to do what is necessary.
Joe Hoffman: I literally cannot argue any of those points at all.
Benny smiles from ear to ear as he knows he is right.
The focus turns back to the ring where the LSD Champion and his tag team partner, the No.1 Contender for the World Championship, Conor Fuse are standing in the middle of the ring awaiting their opponents.
Joe Hoffman: What a Main Event this is going to be. Our top two Champions and the No. 1 Contenders for their titles all in the same match and only a couple weeks away from March to Glory.
Jace’s theme music fades out as the crowd turns once again all their attention to the entrance ramp where it is time for members of The Final Alliance to make their entrance…
Benny Newell: HERE WE GO!!!!!
Benny Newell: Key word there is MEN. These two are MEN. They are Allies here in the constant War that is High Octane Wrestling. Solex learned over the course of 2022 that men like Clay Byrd, Steve Harrison and Joe Bergman were only holding him back. Look at what has happened since Solex has decided to put all his faith in Lee Best? He is the number one wrestler in the WORLD right now. He is on all the promotional material for Chaos and March to Glory. Lee crowned him The Last Man in Wrestling for a reason. I just wish more folks saw the light that Solex did…..things are just the BEST when you are with Lee.
Joe Hoffman: Well there is no denying that Solex has turned a corner and he only has to look next to him to see what is possible. Christopher America, a 2013 Hall of Fame inductee, is going to head into March to Glory with the chance to break the all time record for longest World Title reign in HOW history. The man that holds that record? Michael Lee Best.
Benny Newell: Trust me…..there is no one that Lee would prefer to beat his Son’s record more than the 2nd Best Wrestling mind in the World. America might as well be an Honorary Best.
Joe Hoffman: Slow down there Benny. I do not need a certain wiseman from Philadelphia dropping a cease and desist letter on us.
Benny can only nod as he realizes what he just said.
We cut to a wide shot of the ring as we see the two teams standing across from each other.
Joe Hoffman: One benefit for the company setting up the stage like they did tonight is that we got a nice long entrance walk by both team versus the typical short entrance you see with most wrestling events here at Madison Square Garden. The downside? Obviously less fans…..but even though we have technically less seats than normal here….these fans are LOUD.
Benny Newell: Ring the damn bell….lets fucking go!!!
Joe Hoffman: Oh my gosh……with these entrances I completely forgot that we have a special guest referee for this match tonight per the official @HOWrestling twitter account.
Benny Newell: It is official…..Conor is REALLY fucked tonight. Good thing he has already internalized this as a loss.
Back in the ring all four men turn towards the entrance ramp as they await, along with the thousands in attendance, to see how the referee is.
Back live inside the sold out arena and we once again cut back to our announce team.
Joe Hoffman: Well, I do not think Zion can make it any clearer. He wants Azula at March to Glory and did everything he could tonight to make that happen and to his credit it appears Azula is game for the match as well.
Benny Newell: I am glad those two idiots are on the same page. I am SOOOOOOO happy for them. The match will not fucking happen unless Lee can make money off it. I hardly doubt drops of blood got the attention of Lee.
Joe Hoffman: That I do not know….what I do know is that Lee and EVERYONE will be paying attention to this next match…….our Main Event of the evening.
Benny Newell: Lets fucking go!!!!
The crowd stands as one as Hail to the King hits the PA system and the LSD Champion Jace Parker Davidson makes his way out from the back…..with Conor Fuse by his side.
Joe Hoffman: Well there were rumors that these two have been going back and forth all week about putting their differences aside for the greater good and …..
Benny Newell: Jace is turning on Fuse tonight. Confirmed. Book it Dano.
Joe Hoffman: Where the heck did you pull that out from?
Benny Newell: Simple really. The LSD Champion is making his way out to HIS music and Jace has been a LONG TIME ally of Lee’s. I do not care what he has been saying lately….Jace knows that he is loyal to one person in this game…….Lee Motherfucking Best. Plus Fuse is Canadian and thus too nice to do what is necessary.
Joe Hoffman: I literally cannot argue any of those points at all.
Benny smiles from ear to ear as he knows he is right.
The focus turns back to the ring where the LSD Champion and his tag team partner, the No.1 Contender for the World Championship, Conor Fuse are standing in the middle of the ring awaiting their opponents.
Joe Hoffman: What a Main Event this is going to be. Our top two Champions and the No. 1 Contenders for their titles all in the same match and only a couple weeks away from March to Glory.
Jace’s theme music fades out as the crowd turns once again all their attention to the entrance ramp where it is time for members of The Final Alliance to make their entrance…
Benny Newell: HERE WE GO!!!!!
Benny Newell: Key word there is MEN. These two are MEN. They are Allies here in the constant War that is High Octane Wrestling. Solex learned over the course of 2022 that men like Clay Byrd, Steve Harrison and Joe Bergman were only holding him back. Look at what has happened since Solex has decided to put all his faith in Lee Best? He is the number one wrestler in the WORLD right now. He is on all the promotional material for Chaos and March to Glory. Lee crowned him The Last Man in Wrestling for a reason. I just wish more folks saw the light that Solex did…..things are just the BEST when you are with Lee.
Joe Hoffman: Well there is no denying that Solex has turned a corner and he only has to look next to him to see what is possible. Christopher America, a 2013 Hall of Fame inductee, is going to head into March to Glory with the chance to break the all time record for longest World Title reign in HOW history. The man that holds that record? Michael Lee Best.
Benny Newell: Trust me…..there is no one that Lee would prefer to beat his Son’s record more than the 2nd Best Wrestling mind in the World. America might as well be an Honorary Best.
Joe Hoffman: Slow down there Benny. I do not need a certain wiseman from Philadelphia dropping a cease and desist letter on us.
Benny can only nod as he realizes what he just said.
We cut to a wide shot of the ring as we see the two teams standing across from each other.
Joe Hoffman: One benefit for the company setting up the stage like they did tonight is that we got a nice long entrance walk by both team versus the typical short entrance you see with most wrestling events here at Madison Square Garden. The downside? Obviously less fans…..but even though we have technically less seats than normal here….these fans are LOUD.
Benny Newell: Ring the damn bell….lets fucking go!!!
Joe Hoffman: Oh my gosh……with these entrances I completely forgot that we have a special guest referee for this match tonight per the official @HOWrestling twitter account.
Benny Newell: It is official…..Conor is REALLY fucked tonight. Good thing he has already internalized this as a loss.
Back in the ring all four men turn towards the entrance ramp as they await, along with the thousands in attendance, to see who the referee is…….
Suddenly THAT music hits….
“UNDEAD”
Joe Hoffman: NOOOOOO!!!???
Benny Newell: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The crowd erupts into cheers at the sound of Lee Best’s theme song. Their cheers go up another level when the man himself walks out from the back with EPU agents on both sides of him.
He is not wearing a mask.
He is wearing Jordan 1’s.
He is not wearing a smile.
He is wearing an official HOW referee’s shirt.
Joe Hoffman: It is deafening in here for the GOD of HOW. It has been a long time since Lee has even been inside the ring let alone ready to referee a match. He was literally shot last summer at Dead or Alive and has been seen sparingly since….mostly with a protective mask on.
Benny Newell: Shout out to John Sektor for that mask. The Gold Standard’s gift clearly protected Lee’s face long enough that tonight he is maskless.
But the cameras following him down the entrance ramp show the jagged and deep scar on the right side of his face is still there and his beard hides most of the scar from the bullet wound.
Joe Hoffman: What must these four men be thinking in the ring. It is clear to me that none of them knew that Lee was the referee tonight. All four looked shocked.
Benny Newell: Claim that you knew he would be the referee all you want on your social media……but if America didn’t know….NO ONE KNEW. THANK YOU LEE!!!!!
The GOD of HOW finally makes it ringside and the EPU agents surround the ring as Lee slowly climbs into the ring as the crowd continues to cheer loudly.
Lee walks directly into the middle of the ring and stares into the hard camera and for the first time in a long while we see the infamous Best smirk as Lee stares daggers into his HOTv camera.
Joe Hoffman: Well we got our referee and now it is time for our main event folks. It looks like Conor Fuse and Steve Solex are going to start the match as both our Champions have taken places on the apron.
Benny Newell: Sold out Madison Square Garden. The top four in HOW in the ring. The GOD Of HOW as referee. LETS FUCKING GO!!!!!!!!!
Lee does not look at either wrestler before motioning for the bell to ring and we are officially underway..
DING DING DING
Joe Hoffman: I cannot believe what we are seeing here folks. Lee Best refereeing a match in 2023……and its not on a PPV even.
Benny Newell: I cannot wait for the shenanigans here folks. You know there is a specific reason he is out here for. I AM HERE FOR IT!!!
Back inside the ring we see Conor Fuse immediately charge at Solex and nails him with a running drop kick. The surprised No. 1 Contender for the LSD Championship falls backwards violently and rolls out of the ring.
Joe Hoffman: Great awareness there by Solex as he was clearly not ready for that high flying move from Fuse.
Benny Newell: NOOO!!!!
Without hesitation, Fuse dives thru the ropes and nails Solex with a reckless suicide dive. Both men crash hard to the arena floor.
EPU agents converge on the men instantly. Two agents pick up Fuse and violently roll him back into the ring while two other agents help Solex up to his feet and let the man get his bearings.
Joe Hoffman: This is almost like a lumberjack match with the EPU agents here at ringside. There are two agents on every side of the ring and with their boss as the referee in this match….I mean all bets are off.
Benny Newell: Shenanigans Joe. We all are here for it.
The New York faithful begin booing as they watch Lee walk over to the ropes and literally hold them open for Solex.
Joe Hoffman: The crowd might have popped for the return of Lee tonight……but now they are remembering why he gets booed everywhere in the world outside of Chicago. I mean holding the ropes open for a wrestler….during the match???
Benny Newell: Safety of the wrestlers always comes first Joe. Always.
Solex enters the ring slowly and this time he is completely focused in on Fuse who is smiling after catching Solex off guard a few times.
The two men then rush each other and lock up. The more powerful Solex pushes Fuse into the far ropes and Lee does not even ask for Solex to break the hold.
Smiling, Solex brings a knee up to the midsection of Fuse and doubles the man over. Another knee sends Fuse down to his knees and Solex drops him with a powerful right hand.
Behind him Lee can be seen smiling.
Solex pulls Fuse up to his feet and whips the man hard into the far corner.
Joe Hoffman: Great work there by Solex to get this match under his control and now he has Fuse literally in his corner.
Solex looks up at his tag partner and refuses to tag him in. He mouths “Watch and Learn” to the World Champion as he climbs up to the second turnbuckle and drops ten powerful right hands to the temple of Fuse.
SMACK
America slaps the back of Solex hard and thus tags himself in.
Solex looks like he is going to unload on America but then he catches Lee taking a few steps towards him and he stops.
Joe Hoffman: America tagging himself in while the contender to his Championship is hurt. Imagine that. But did you catch that look Lee was giving Solex……there just is no way that Solex and America can work together here tonight. That was literally the first tag and there was tension.
Benny Newell: Foreplay Joe. Gotta warm each other up.
America enters the action quickly and drops Fuse with a big body slam. The World Champion then goes for a suplex but Fuse is able to block it with a quick knee to the gut of America followed by a swift kick to the right knee of America causing the Hall of Famer to drop down to said knee.
Joe Hoffman: Snap DDT by Fuse!!!!
Fuse rolls America over and makes the cover.
Before Lee could even decide to get into position to make the count, America kicks out.
Fuse slowly pulls the bigger man to his feet and now it is Fuse who whips America into the far ropes and into the corner where the LSD Champion awaits.
Conor rushes towards America and jumps and nails the World Champion with a spinning heel kick. America falls forward out of the corner to the canvas as the crowd is clearly behind Fuse.
Another quick cover by Fuse and another quick kickout by America.
Joe Hoffman: Two pinfall attempts by Fuse and zero counts by Lee.
Benny Newell: Hard to make a count when the World Champion is a FUCKING BEAST and KICKS OUT INSTANTLY!!!!!
Fuse jumps back to his feet and rushes towards the ropes and jumps off and nails America with a perfect lionsault.
The crowd continues to be firmly behind Fuse as he drags America up to his feet and whips him into the ropes and executes a flawless standing drop kick to America.
The World Champion falls backwards and much like Solex earlier in the match, rolls to the outside to gather himself.
Joe Hoffman: This has been all Fuse for the most part.
Benny Newell: Which just means he is going to lose when THE BEST TEAM makes its comeback.
Joe Hoffman: This is really shaping up to Lee screwing Jace and Fuse here doesn’t it?
Benny remains quiet as he motions he cannot answer as he chugs some Aquafina.
Slowly, America climbs back into the ring as Fuse motions for him to bring the fight to him.
Instead America makes a beeline for Solex and slaps the man hard on the shoulder…tagging in his fellow Hall of Famer.
Solex holds up two fingers signifying that is twice now that America has slapped him to make a tag.
Joe Hoffman: Tagging in and out is going to be the end of this Alliance tonight. Jesus.
Benny Newell: His name is Lee. Maybe in Spanish its Jesus? Have to ask Hortega.
Solex and Fuse circle each other once again and go to lock up once again but this time Fuse dips under and slides behind Solex and grips the man around the waist and nails him with a release German suplex.
Joe Hoffman: Just look at America’s face seeing that move executed. That had to hurt his soul.
Solex quickly staggers up to his feet and looks up just in time to see Fuse going for a round house kick. The Last Man in Wrestling catches Fuse in mid move however and drops the man down in a modified single leg powerbomb.
Solex keeps his hold on Fuse’s leg and makes the cover.
Lee drops down and starts the count.
1…..
KICKOUT
Joe Hoffman: That was a clean count there by Lee. Color me shocked!
Benny Newell: He is a fair GOD Joe.
Solex looks up at Lee and the two men share a look but no words are said.
Benny Newell: Two beautiful bearded men sharing a moment there…
Solex tosses Fuse’s leg to the side and gets in a side mount position and begins grinding his forearm across the face of Fuse.
Lee immediately begins counting to five and Solex waits until Lee gets to 4.97 before stopping the move and looking up at Lee who motions that he almost DQ’d him.
Joe Hoffman: Lee is literally calling this down the middle. I am floored right now.
Solex, sitting on his knees, staggers up and pulls Fuse up with him. He whips the man into the far ropes and drops him instantly with a powerful shoulder tackle.
Joe Hoffman: One can question how legal the body of Steve Solex is but my God was that a powerful shoulder tackle.
Benny Newell: His traps have traps. You see him wearing that promotional soccer jersey in that March to Glory commercial? THICCCCCCCCCCC.
Solex does not waste any time and pulls Fuse back up to his feet and grabs the mans head……twists around….and drops him violently to the canvas with a neck breaker.
From a sitting position Solex begins smiling and looks up at Lee who nods his head in approval.
Joe Hoffman: The tide has turned here folks and it is not because of any shenanigans from Lee. Solex is just asserting his will onto Fuse here….and Fuse quite frankly needs to make a tag. We have yet to see the LSD Champion in this match.
Once again Solex is up to his feet first but this time he does not pull Fuse up with him. Instead he drops a knee to the forehead of the man. Then another. Then another.
Fuse begins rolling away as he tries to cover up but Solex kicks him hard in the back of the head and that stops all of Fuse’s momentum.
The crowd boos loudly as Solex drops another boot to the back of Fuse’s head for good measure.
Joe Hoffman: Just pure violence here from Solex. Just boots and fists here.
Benny Newell: That is all The Last Man in Wrestling needs Joe. I have it on good authority he calls his right hand Hiroshima and his left Nagasaki.
Joe literally has no words and just ignores Benny as back in the ring Solex has finally pulled Fuse back up to his feet and whips the man hard into the ropes and swings his arm violently but misses a clothesline attempt as Fuse ducks under……….
Fuse bounces off the far ropes and jumps towards Solex and nails him with a desperation spinning slingblade.
Both men are down.
Joe Hoffman: Fuse HAS to make the tag here. He got a ton of offense in on Solex and even America earlier…but its been all Solex here for the last several minutes.
The New York crowd begins chanting RANK….RANK…..RANK as they try to will Fuse to make the tag……….
Both men begin to stir as Lee looks on….refusing to count out either man.
Joe Hoffman: Lee giving both men all the time in the world to get to their feet. We will have a winner here folks it appears. I cannot believe I am saying that. Maybe the swerve by Lee here tonight is that he is calling it down the middle?
Benny Newell: I can neither confirm nor deny Lee’s intentions…..he is a fair and loyal GOD. That is all I know from personal experience and what I have seen over the years.
Joe does not take the bait and remains quiet as all the fans in the arena are screaming madly for Fuse as he man is finally almost up to his feet…..but so is Solex.
Fuse runs towards his corner…….Solex swings for a momentum stopping clotheslines……….Fuse is able to duck……and literally dives for his corner and his partners outstretched hand.
Joe Hoffman: TAG!!! WE GOT A TAG!!!!! JACE IS IN THE MATCH…..FINALLY!!!!
Solex’s eyes go big as he sees his PPV opponent hop over the top rope and jump into the ring.
Benny Newell: This is not fair….Solex has literally just spent over ten minutes beating down on Fuse. Jace is too fresh to enter this match!!!
Joe Hoffman: The fans here literally learned earlier tonight that Jace has been attacking fans outside the arenas in recent weeks but because of their hate for Lee, Solex and America…they are CHEERING for Jace right now.
Benny Newell: SOFT!!! THE PEOPLE ARE SOFT!!
Jace stares down Solex who is still standing in the middle of the ring.
Back in the corner America can be heard cheering on Solex but its to no avail as the only sounds that can be heard is the crowd cheering for the LSD Champion about to get his hands on Solex.
Joe Hoffman: Here we go….preview of our LSD Championship match at March to Glory!!!!!
Jace rushes Solex…….
But then immediately crumples.
The crowd that was just deafening a few seconds ago are now deathly silent.
Those watching at home hear Joe Hoffman begin dry heaving into his headset.
Back in the ring we see Lee standing over Jace.
Pen in his hand.
Bloody pen in his hand.
Jace’s screams of pain pierce thru Madison Square Garden as everyone realizes what just happened.
Lee Best just drove his Bottomline Pen into the right eye of his LSD Champion.
Lee motions for Solex to cover Jace and the man that is no stranger to blood and blunt force trauma, nods and hooks the leg for measure to keep Jace from rolling over in pain.
1.
2.
3.
Bryan McVay comes over the PA system…his voice cracking….
Bryan McVay: Winner of this match in 22 minutes and 56 seconds…….THE FINAL ALLIANCE!
McVay quickly goes silent again as the screams of Jace continue to echo throughout Madison Square Garden.
Suddenly Conor Fuse is back in the ring and he drops Solex with a right hand.
Lee quickly rolls of the ring and the EPU surround Lee.
America enters the fray and drops Fuse from behind with a powerful clothesline.
America and Solex continue to pummel Fuse with kicks to the back of the head.
Chaos comes to an end as we see Solex and America pull Fuse up to his feet only for America to lift the man up and put him in his torture rack finisher.
We get a final overhead shot of Jace screaming in pain as Solex has dropped down to a knee and is literally dropping right hands on the newly damaged eye.
The whole while America holds a now passed out Fuse up on his shoulders as his torture rack remains locked in.
Lee is smiling as we fade to black.
GLORY GLORY HOW UNITED
World Championship Match
Conor Fuse vs. Christopher America©
LSD Championship Match
Steve Solex vs. Jace Parker Davidson©
HOTv Championship Match
Dan Ryan vs. Jatt Starr vs. Scott Stevens vs. Joe Bergman©
Singles Match
Bobbinette Carey vs. Aceldama
Singles Match
Darin Zion vs. Xander Azula