CHARLES DE LACY VS. BOBBINETTE CAREY
Joe Hoffman: Welcome to Chaos!!! I am Joe Hoffman and as always, unless Zion is in the ring, the man next to me is none other than Big Buff Benny Newell. We’re going to start right away with our first match where we have Charles de Lacy making his in-ring debut against Bobbinette Carey!
Benny Newell: I would prefer Zion would curtain jerk each show so I could sleep in on Sundays….but NOOOOO……..Anyway, I hope this newbie mops the floor with Carey. After Carey lost at March to Glory, I’m done with her. She mailed it in.
Joe Hoffman: She didn’t mail in anything, she put up a great fight.
Benny Newell: Whatever, fine. Let’s see what The Hardcore Epicness has in store tonight. This Scottywood obsession isn’t working out for her in the short run. Then again, when has attaching herself to Scottywood ever worked out?
Joe Hoffman: That’s your own personal opinion, Benny.
Benny Newell: I’m well aware it is.
The scene switches to the ring and Bryan McVay.
Bryan McVay: This opening bout is for one fall! Introducing first… from York, England… weighing two-hundred-forty pounds… “Dandy” Charles de Lacy!
The regal tones of “Ballad of the Virgin Soldiers” pipes through the HOW PA system, signaling the arrival of Charles de Lacy. Sauntering down the aisle, a look of utter contempt etched on his face, de Lacy glares at the fans who dare to reach towards the expensive silk robe draped over his shoulders. Wiping his feet on the apron, de Lacy steps through the middle rope before turning slowly in the center of the ring and surveying his surroundings. The referee helps de Lacy remove his robe, handing it to the time-keeper on the outside of the ring, while de Lacy limbers up on the inside with a series of stretches.
Bryan McVay: And his opponent… from Parma Heights, Ohio… weighing two-hundred-thirty-five pounds… “The Queen of Epicness” BOBBINETTE CAREY!
“Enemy” by Anna plays on the PA as BobbinetteWood ScottyCarey walks out wielding a New York Rangers branded hockey stick.
Benny Newell: See, this. This right here is why I hope Carey dies a slow, painful fucking death. She’s no hockey player. She doesn’t even know where left field is during a hockey game!
Joe Hoffman: There IS no left field during a hockey game.
Benny Newell: Exactly my point, Joe. Exactly my point.
Carey marches down the rampway and rolls into the ring. She sets the hockey stick aside, for now, and waits in the corner as referee Joel Hortega walks to the edge of the ring and calls for the bell.
de Lacy proceeds to the middle of the canvas with a disgusted look on his face. He can’t believe who he’s going to wrestle. Meanwhile, Bobbie stretches like she’s ready to step over the boards and have a go. Hortega backs away as Carey emerges to the center of the canvas. Dandy rolls his eyes when she arrives to meet him face-to-face.
Bobbie slugs de Lacy across the side of the head! It knocks him for a loop. If there was a jersey to pull, sure enough Bobbinette would take it as she jumps onto de Lacy’s back and begins fighting him like it’s the middle of a bitter hockey game. Carey hurls de Lacy into the ropes and then leaps in the air as he bounces off them and works his way back towards The Queen of Epicness.
Bobbie tackles de Lacy to the ground again and begins feeding him shot after shot after shot.
Joe Hoffman: So much for de Lacy disgusted by wrestling a woman… he’s being fed right now.
Benny Newell: Give it a minute. These brawls always work themselves out. She’s bound to lose focus.
Carey lifts Dandy off the mat and throws him back-first into a corner before Bobbiewood races in and jumps onto the second turnbuckle padding, hammering down fist after fist as the crowd counts along.
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVE, EIGHT, NINE…
Wait for it.
Wait for it.
She goes for TEN but de Lacy escapes! He slips out by dropping to his knees and rolling to the center of the ring.
Benny Newell: See what I mean? She had her man and she let him get away. Typical Bobbie, Scottywood obsessed or not.
Before Carey can get off the second buckle, de Lacy charges back in and hits a high dropkick, knocking Bobbie in the back. Carey falls but lands on the bottom turnbuckle. This allows Dandy to take another run at The Queen of the Ice, as he drives both boots straight into her face!
Carey collapses off the buckle and falls into a heap. de Lacy dusts his hands off like this was easy, as if ignoring the beating he took at the start.
de Lacy turns around, back to face Bobbiewood but she immediately springs to life and tackles Charles to the mat!
Punches follow, it’s a wild brawl.
Joe Hoffman: You have to enjoy this Bobbinette Scottywood!
Benny Newell: We went through this. No, I do not. Bobbie isn’t half the brawler Scotty was.
Joe Hoffman: And yet she’s really working down Charles de Lacy right about now.
Benny Newell: Wait it out, again.
Carey whips de Lacy into a corner and goes back to delivering fists on the second rope. ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT, NINE-
Powerbomb by de Lacy!
Charles had to drop Bobbie before he could get to the center of the ring, as his legs were too wobbly underneath him. He didn’t have a good enough grip on The Queen of the Crease so he had to drop her in the powerbomb slightly before he wanted to.
de Lacy pulls himself upright. He shakes his head. Is he rattled at himself for letting Bobbienette get some good shots in… or is he still disgruntled about who his opponent is.
Charles drops a measured knee against the side of Bobbie’s head. In one fluid motion, Dandy drags her to her feet and then performs a side Russian leg sweep. de Lacy pumps his arms around, he’s feeling it now. He waits for Carey to get on her knees, then he bursts forward and drills his knee square into the side of her left temple.
Bobbie falls down like she’s shot. de Lacy drops to the mat and hooks a leg.
de Lacy could argue with the referee but he thinks the kickout was in the nick-of-time so instead he’s back to work. He hammers Carey with forearm shots before positioning her into a pendulum backbreaker. He lifts Carey with ease, showing the powerbomb he used on Carey beforehand was more about the lack of grip he had than the lack of strength.
de Lacy moves into a position for an armbar submission but Carey is on watch. She elbows Dandy in the face over and over, finally catching Charles square on the nose so he rolls away.
Both wrestlers are on their feet, as Carey moves forward with a spinning back elbow smash. de Lacy, however, ducks it. He kicks Carey in the stomach, floats over and then performs a German suplex into a pin.
To everyone’s surprise, Carey is on her feet first! She spears de Lacy almost out of his boots! She stands, raises her hands like she just scored a Stanley Cup game winning goal for the New York Rangers but this is likely impossible because the Rangers will never win again.
Carey scoops de Lacy off the mat and places him onto her shoulder. She runs forward and delivers a ring shaking powerslam! She hooks de Lacy’s legs.
It’s reversed into rollup by Dandy!
And that’s reversed into a rollup by Bobbinette.
de Lacy gets onto his feet and falls into a corner of the ring, resting against it. He looks rattled, at first coming into this match thinking it might be an easy opponent to handle. Now, however, he looks relieved he wasn’t caught into that last pinfall attempt.
Carey is also on her feet. She’s resting on the other side of the ring. She grits her teeth and pumps her fists. She walks to the center of the ring and spits on the canvas like she just cleaned her throat with a bottle of water.
Bobbinettewood waves de Lacy over and readies for another brawl, a hockey fight, where she plans to pump Dandy’s skull over and over again, to the point where the Brit could think hockey is better than “soccer”.
de Lacy is tentative. He slowly walks over but he’s trying to avoid Carey charging towards him without notice. Once de Lacy gets within an arm’s reach, he backs away. He’s trying to put out feelers but Bobbie is crafty. She’s not showing her hand just yet. Tension continues to grow inside the area… the fans want to continue seeing these two lock up… but every time Charles moves forward, when he’s almost right there in front of Bobbie…
He backs away.
Finally, Careywood’s seen enough. She runs towards de Lacy, arms wide open, ready to throw punches and receive them, too.
Joe Hoffman: Oh, Charles was playing possum!
de Lacy connects with a discus elbow, catching Bobbie right under the jaw as he did. He quickly moves behind Bobbie and connects with a belly-to-back suplex.
de Lacy holds on and hits a vertical suplex.
Charles de Lacy still holds on. He’s going for another suplex when Bobbie escapes, bounces off the ropes and clubs Dandy with one of the most brutal looking shoulder blocks seen in some time. Dandy’s head literally snaps back as he crashes to the canvas. Carey stands over him, looking for blood. She follows with a splash and a hook of the leg.
Joe Hoffman: It’s got to be over!
SHOULDER BARELY UP!
Benny Newell: Thank god. I was about to vomit.
Carey isn’t phased. She’s calling for the Ice Kick, one of Scottywood’s key moves, a swift kick to the side of the head.
de Lacy sees Bobbinette is ready to strike but as she comes forward, he connects with a desperate, out of nowhere cutter sending them both on the mat. The crowd stomps their feet, rallying both wrestlers to recover and continue. It’s Dandy who’s up first but Bobbie is upright shortly thereafter. Carey goes for a right fist and it connects, while de Lacy returns the blow with an open palm shot to the side of Bobbie’s head. Carey hammers across another fist and Charles returns with a blow of his own. The two go back and forth until de Lacy leaps into the air and drills a hard knee under Carey’s chin!
Joe Hoffman: Hey! That was uncalled for!
Benny Newell: Uncalled for? Like there’s some “code” these two have to keep going shot for shot? I have news for you, Joe. It was Charles’ turn to take his shot and he surprised Carey with a strong knee. Fuck these unwritten rules. It’s wrestling not hockey!
Bobbinettewood is on roller skates as de Lacy bounces off the ropes and drives a clothesline into the side of Carey’s neck. The Queen of the Rink hasn’t been sent to the floor, yet. So de Lacy hooks her into a delayed falling neckbreaker-
That Bobbie escapes! de Lacy lands on the mat with nothing in his arms. Carey bounces off the ropes-
And runs right into another high knee, followed by a bridging fisherman’s suplex into a pin. In other words, de Lacy’s finisher, the Dandy Decree!
DING DING DING
Joe Hoffman: There you have it! Charles de Lacy wins his debut!
Benny Newell: There you have it, Scottywood holding Carey back again.
Hortega walks over and raises de Lacy’s hand. In fairness to Newell’s comments, he’s absolutely spent.
Bryan McVay: The winner of this match… CHARLES de LACY!
Eventually Dandy stands upright and walks over to a corner of the ring to celebrate.
Joe Hoffman: A great effort by Carey but just a little short.
Chaos goes elsewhere.
LOVE STILL DOMINATES
The cameras cut in away from the end results of Charles de Lacy and Bobbinette Carey to the stands of the Best Arena in Chicago, IL. Specifically we cut to Section 103—an entirely different section than usual. We see workers handing out a brand new, hot-off-the presses shirt. It’s #97Purple—now dubbed TOUGH LOVE Purple®. In the middle is a bright pink heart with #LOVESTILLDOMINATES in the middle in #97RED font. On the back, written in the bright pink—it says LOVE CONVOY® on the back. The crowd immediately erupts into excitement.
Crowd: HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK!
A familiar voice echoes over the PA System….
“HELLLLLLLLOOOOO MY LOOOOOOOOOVLIEEEEESS.”
Standing in THE LOVE CONVOY SECTION® is PRIME’s own Vickie Hall. She’s dawning one of these shirts. A sinister smile comes across her face as the other members of the Convoy (Tristian-Crispin Gladhappy and Jonathan-Christopher Hall) stand in her presence. It’s a bit of a mixed reaction for the group for HOW. Vickie stands embracing the reaction—she fully understands the HOW crowd doesn’t like her.
Vickie Hall: Sorry to burst your bubbles—it’s not an invasion. THE POWER OF LOVE and YOUR 4EVA TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS could conquer any PWA Tag Team at any given time….but tonight’s not about some random promotional war. It’s about one man’s conquest to achieving his dreams. One that I’ve had the PRIVILGE in fostering back to his former glory.
The crowd erupts in more HONKing as she continues.
Vickie Hall: I’m so glad this man found it important to include myself and the rest of the LOVE CONVOY® in this moment. He didn’t have to do that, but he chose to do it because he knew how instrumental the POWER OF LOVE is…
Vickie Hall extends her hand out, motioning to someone off-camera.
Vickie Hall: It’s with great pleasure I introduce you to the #2 Ranked Wrestler in HOW, one-half of the 4EVA Tag Team Champions, your future PRIME Alias Champion, AND the neeeeeeew number 1 contender to the #LOVESTILLDOMINATES Heavyweight Champion…..PLEASE WELCOME TOOOOOOOOUGH LOOOOOOOOOOOVE DAAAAAAAARRRRRRIN ZIOOOOOOOOOOON!
The Best Arena erupts into massive honks as Darin Zion rushes on camera—dawning his new shirt. After a night of celebrating with the fans—Zion’s bright smile electrifies the arena. It causes the crowd to explode into MASSIVE HONKing chants. Vickie hands the microphone to Zion. TOUGH LOVE’s® face changes in demeanor—almost looking stoic. Zion knows the gravitas of his upcoming LSD Title match with JPD. After embrace the fans—Darin raises the microphone to his lips.
Darin Zion: JACE PARKER DAVIDSON—
The crowd intensifies while Zion pauses. Darin looks around in the moment, embracing the LOVE from the rabid HOW crowd. After a few seconds, Zion continues to deliver his promo.
Darin Zion: I’m sorry you’ve experienced a heartbreaking road of pain at March 2 Glory. First you lose your eyes—and your best friend. But rest assured…REAL LOVE® found you.
Zion smiles at his terrible joke while his tone changes. Darin’s amped about everything.
Darin Zion: Let’s face it, JPD—you’re on a historic run since returning to HOW. You’ve grown the prestige of two championships. You’re now a Hall of Famer. Hell, no one recognizes you are less than 50 days away from beating Sektor’s record as the longest LSD Champion. A record you once held yourself, friend.
Darin Zion cracks his neck, staring straight into the camera.
Darin Zion: You’re arguably one of the biggest standard bearers in HOW. One could argue you rival Christopher America at this point in the game. You’ve built the importance of the LSD Championship—rivaling it with the pinnacle of the #97Red HOW World Championship. The LSD Championship’s become a fucking steeple under your watch.
The smile fades from TOUGH LOVE’S® face. As Darin’s pondering his next words—the crowd comes alive, hinging on Zion’s next words.
Darin Zion: Which is why I NEED to beat you…
Crowd: HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK!
Darin Zion: Everyone knows our story at this point—how our paths have INTERTWINED since I kicked down the door to HOW. Every step of the way—you’ve put me to the damn test and I failed. I’ve failed to break through that glass ceiling into the next level of my career. Every time I stand against YOU…I’ve choked and failed. I could offer excuse after mother fucking excuse—but at the end of the day—it’s on me.
Zion clamps down on his mouth—you can tell his past is bothering him.
Darin Zion: You’re the fucking final boss to my story. And GOD himself knows time is ticking. When we step into that ring to do battle—I’m down to 13 matches left to make a fucking impact. To do something worthwhile here in HOW…or GOD HIMSELF comes down and smites me. GOD HIMSELF comes and erases me from the history books. GOD HIMSELF makes me a footnote in this promotion the likes of the Egg Bandits, Eric Dane, Arthur Pleasant—the list goes on…you know their damn stories.
Zion clenches his fists, he’s almost shaking due to the intensity.
Darin Zion: And I’m one proud man. I won’t allow what happened to your damn eye happen to me. I won’t let GOD destroy me. I’ll do whatever is necessary to insure my future. I’ll make sure I make the HOW history books with something worthwhile. Because it’s time for me to put up or shut up.
A cocky and brash smile cracks the face of Darin Zion.
Darin Zion: So Jace…I’ll see you soon, my lovely “friendo.” And when our paths ultimately cross—I promise to show you why #LOVESTILLDOMINATES. HOOOOOOOOONK!!!!
The crowd begins a very loud HONK chant. Darin Zion throws down the microphone and throws his hands in the air as the scene fades to black.
The scene shifts elsewhere in the Best Arena with Hall of Fame interviewer, Blaire Moise, alongside another Hall of Famer, Scott Stevens.
Blaire Moise: Ladies and gentlemen, my guest at this time, the “Demi-God of HOW,” Scott Stevens.
The Windy City faithful boo the Texan mercilessly.
Blaire Moise: Scott, tonight you have a tall task ahead of you as we kick off the road to War Games as you face STRonk Godson……
Stevens puts a hand over the microphone causing Blaire to stop her statement.
Scott Stevens: Before we get to STRonk I just want to get something off of my chest. Can I?
Stevens asks Blaire who has a confused look on her face.
Blaire Moise: Sure. The floor is yours.
Blaire replies as she hands Stevens the microphone.
Scott Stevens: For nearly one year I have been loyal…..correction, I have been downright faithful to the GOD of HOW, Lee Best.
The mention of Lee’s name draws praise from the Chicago faithful.
Scott Stevens: I have been the only one that has stood by his side and didn’t question when he ordered things. I didn’t question when things needed to be done. I didn’t fail like others when tasks where ordered off me. I have been his loyal lieutenant since War Games of last year and you know what my reward is for my servitude?
Scott asks Blaire and she leans into the microphone.
Blaire Moise: What?
Scott Stevens: Nothing!
The Texan shouts.
Scott Stevens: For nearly a year I have watched as others who aren’t worthy get the opportunities that should’ve been mine, but I didn’t question because I figured GOD had a plan like he always does and he would make me a Captain at War Game, but alas that doesn’t happen.
Hatred seethes from the Texan tone as he looks towards the camera.
Scott Stevens: Clay Byrd doesn’t deserve to be captain because this is 2023 and he hasn’t done shit this year besides fail once again at trying to earn a shot at the world title and sit at home for over a month collecting a paycheck. I have been here scratching, clawing, and busting my ass to be a thorn in Joe Bergman’s side, but being a sad cowboy gets you rewarded not loyalty. The Monster of Plainview, give me a fucking break.
Stevens hawks a loogie and spits it on the ground in disgust.
Scott Stevens: Then we got the Mercdad, Steve Solex. America should be the captain not you. You’re a great soldier Steve, but your problem is finishing the fucking job. You couldn’t beat America, you couldn’t beat Jace, and you haven’t been able to beat me when the opportunity arose and because you failed with the Highwaymen you thought switching sides to Lee would be paradise city. For someone who has lead men in battle you are very bad a leading yourself to victory. Anyone that follows you at War Games is going to be defeated.
Stevens says bluntly as he slowly points to the camera.
Scott Stevens: And then we have you, Evan Ward.
There is a mixed reaction for the former world champion and Hall of Famer.
Scott Stevens: If all it took was laying out Conor Fuse with a knee I would’ve done that ages ago because anyone can throw a fucking knee and my knee is better than a Best knee or any knee that has been seen by any generation.
Stevens slaps his knee that is heavily braced.
Scott Stevens: You took my spot from me Evan and because of it everyone associated with Lee Best and the Final Alliance is a marked man.
Stevens warns as he takes off his eyepatch revealing a 97 Red colored glass eye.
Scott Stevens: And STRonk is number one.
Stevens says before exiting and we cut to our first commercial break.
GIVE ME WHAT I WANT
Back from commercial break as we Mr. Executive himself, Brian Hollywood with his TSA detail. Blaire Moise introduces Hollywood with a smile on her face.
Blaire Moise: Ladies and gentlemen please welcome….Brian Hollywood!
You can hear cheers coming from the Best Arena as Hollywood steps forward with a smile on his face.
Brian Hollywood: Come on now Blaire we’ve been over this already! It’s Mr. Hollywood! But since it’s you and not Bare and because I have a soft spot for you, I’ll let it slide!
Blaire shares a laugh with Mr. Executive as it appears Hollywood is in a good mood.
Blaire Moise: Brian it’s good to see you here tonight! Obviously you missed out on the March to Glory PPV and I was just wanting to get your thoughts on that. You’ve had strides of momentum and had some great matches with HOW World Champion Christopher America and Conor Fuse in which you narrowly lost to both of them. A lot of people have been wondering if these shades we’ve seen outta you a prelude to the Hollywood of old returning.
Hollywood sighs a bit as he HATED being left off March to Glory but first, he raises his spirits up by getting a little bit of love from Chicago.
Brian Hollywood: What’s is up Chicago?!
Hollywood says loudly as he perks his ear as he hears the Best Arena erupt in cheers. This gets Hollywood pumped up and it appears he’s instantly feeling better.
Brian Hollywood: Man Chicago sure has a way of cheering you up! Thank you Chicago! Obviously I was let down to be left off March to Glory. Even though I had some CLOSE losses to America and Fuse I’m still impressed by the two of them winning. Mad respect especially to Conor. America, I give him props on beating the record for holding the World title longer than anyone else. Truly amazing feat. That said…America won’t give me the pleasure of taking him to his limit. He expected to destroy me and that didn’t happen. I’m starting to slowly find myself again and before long I know I’m going to be a force around here again. The matches I had with America and Conor reminded me what it meant to dig deep and the longer I hang the bigger the chances I’m gonna pull off the win. I 100 percent believe that Blaire. But I gotta just take it as a lesson and move on to the next one…especially now that the road to War Games begins.
Blaire Moise: it’s interesting that you bring up War Games. Obviously you’ve missed out on War Games last year and the year before. You were definitely in a bad spot. What can we expect differently this year? It seems like you’re on the precipice and will be looking to attract the captains of the teams this year. That also brings up something else that you’ve clearly let everyone know in the recent past. Hollywood works alone. Are you still feeling the same in that statement?
Hollywood slightly smiles as he knows where this is going. Hollywood was still methodical in his answers as he lets out a slight sigh before answering.
Brian Hollywood: It really is the worst kept secret around here isn’t it? I know I’ve turned people off around the idea of Hollywood working with others. But that’s the beauty of War Games. Sometimes you just have to swallow your pride and put aside your views if you want a chance to fight for High Octane gold.
Hollywood pauses a moment before continuing.
Brian Hollywood: Look Blaire I know I’m onto something great here. But it’s clear that the GOD of HOWs little “last alliance” needs to be put under the microscope. It’s no secret I do well when it comes to taking on and beating Lee’s little soldiers but this year yours truly, Mr. Executive himself, plans to take a different approach this year. Lee knows I thrive under pressure. He also knows that when given the chance I’m a workhorse. So that’s why I’m putting down the challenge now. You want to try and keep Hollywood out of War Games again? Try it! Put me up against your little alliance and I’ll do what I do best. But I’m not going down easily this year. I’m going to keep getting back up and taking it to the Alliance the only way I know how. You can bet you’re going to see me show up every week with a new challenge and I welcome it. Then we’ll just see what the GOD of HOW does with my little challenge. But I can promise you I won’t go quietly into that good night this year and if it means I have to team up with others in taking that fight to them this year than so be it! But one thing is for sure…Hollywood is back! And you can bet that if you try to take me down..I’m gonna take as many fuckers down with me if I have to! So bring it on because Brian Fucking Hollywood will be ready!
With that said Hollywood is amped up and ready to bring the war to Lee’s doorstep as he proceeds to tap Blaire on the shoulder and walk off with his TSA guard in tow but not before all of a sudden running into REAL LOVE Darin Zion!
Zion is sporting his 97Purple Shirt with the #LoveStillDominates on it. Hollywood and Zion don’t say a word to each other as they just look eye to eye.
The crowd are cheering on loudly as you can hear a particular chant that Hollywood and Zion can hear the crowd chanting.
Hollywood then looks at Blaire and gives a wink as if it’s code for what he was just taking about as Zion curiously looks at Hollywood.
A few moments pass by before Hollywood finally just slowly nods at Zion and walks off with the TSA interestingly not saying a word as Zion looks on curiously without saying a word either, as Chaos heads back to ringside for the next match.
CLAY BYRD VS. XANDER AZULA
We cut back to ringside to the Hall of Fame duo ready to call the next match of the evening.
Joe Hoffman: Strong words from Hollywood and not sure what that moment between him and Zion was but boy do they have a ton of history…..either way we are about to see our next matchup of the evening as Xander Azula takes on the returning Clay Byrd.
Benny Newell: We already have one Texan too many in this company.
As Benny continues to bitch about Clay Byrd the whistling intro of “Engel” plays over the PA system, setting the crowd off in a chorus of boos as Xander Azula steps out onto the stage, surveying the crowd with a snarl on his face.
Bryan McVay: Making his way to the ring from Long Beach, California….pleeeeease welcome….XAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNDER AZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULA!
Joe Hoffman: At March to Glory, Xander went tooth and nail with Darin Zion. Even though he lost the match he didn’t submit to Zion’s submission as he passed out showing his defiance to never quit.
Benny Newell: Don’t give me that participation trophy shit Hoffman. The fucker lost the match plain and simple. A loss is a loss and it doesn’t matter if he passed out or tapped out he lost to that vag, Darin Zion.
Joe Hoffman: Nevertheless, Xander is looking to pull off the upset here tonight and open some eyes for the captain’s heading into War Games.
The crowd show their disdain for Xander, whose snarl fades into a smirk as he taunts those jeering him during his journey to the ring, sliding in to get ready for the match at hand before leaning against the nearest turnbuckle waiting for his opponent to arrive.
Guitar and harmonica begin to blare through the arena, the start of “Gunning For You” by Nick Nolan sends a silence across the crowd as Nick Nolan’s lyrics echo through the arena. Red letters slash across the screen as “BYRD” is spelled out. Clay appears through fog on the entrance ramp, cowboy hat low over his eyes, a long black duster on and a rope in his hand.
Bryan McVay: And his opponent, from Plainview, TX and weighing in at 295 lbs….he is THE MONSTER OF PLAINVIEW! CLAY! BYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRDDDDDDDDDDD!!!
Clay begins his slow walk down the ramp.
Joe Hoffman: The 2022 Wrestler of the Year was last seen a little over a month ago when he was faced Conor Fuse in the finals of the number one contender’s tournament to face Christopher America at March to Glory.
Benny Newell: And how did he do Hoffman?
Joe Hoffman: You know how he did…..
Benny Newell: HOW DID HE DO?!?!?!?!?
Joe Hoffman: He lost to Fuse and……
Benny Newell: And he took his horse and rode home on it. He’s lucky to have done so well last year to be one of the captains for War Games because 2023 has just started and his ass hasn’t done shit!
Joe Hoffman: Whether the case may be Benny, Clay is looking to send a sound statement here tonight to his potential opponents as we head towards War Games.
His eyes are fixed on the ring, and he trudges on. Not paying any notice to any of the fans in attendance. Clay walks up the steps, and climbs into the ring as the official signals for the bell.
Joe Hoffman: And here we go…..
Byrd and Xander come out of their respective corners.
Joe Hoffman: This last time these two fought was a little over six months ago at Chaos 8, and Clay picked up the victory.
Benny Newell: You got fucking lucky Hoffman. He and Xander hit each other with their finishers at the same time and he just happened to fall on him. Xander appears to have bulked up some since their last encounter.
The Texan stops and adverts his attention from Azula towards the fans in attendance.
Crowd: FUCK YOU BYRD! FUCK YOU BYRD! FUCK YOU BYRD!
Joe Hoffman: The crowd seems to be getting underneath the Texan’s skin.
Benny Newell: These fans aren’t stupid Hoffman. They know when you suck and Clay Byrd sucks.
Joe Hoffman: He was the Wrestler of the Year Benny. He couldn’t have sucked that much.
Benny Newell: A participation trophy to the man who has failed to win the big one when the situation arises.
Byrd lets the fans know his feelings for them when he gives the Best Arena the unofficial state byrds of Texas drawing thunderous jeers from the crowd.
Joe Hoffman: Clay Byrd showing his appreciation to this Chicago crowd.
Benny Newell: FUCK YOU TOO CLAY! YOU PUSSY!
A smirk forms over the big man’s face as he brings both middle fingers and flips off his opponent. Xander doesn’t appreciate being flicked off so he responds with a dropkick to the knee of Clay that drops the big man. Xander rolls backwards and kip ups to a standing base and blasts Byrd in the face with a superkick that drops Clay to all fours. Xander grabs Clay and begins to drive his knees into the Texan’s face.
Joe Hoffman: Oh my! Xander is taking the fight to Clay!
Benny Newell: I thought I would never say this but……FUCK HIM UP XANDER!
Xander delivers a stiff clubbing blow to the back of Clay’s neck that sends him back to the canvas.
Joe Hoffman: Clay Byrd is down!
Like a shark smelling blood in the water, Xander begins to motion for his opponent to get up and once Clay gets to all fours, Xander blasts the Texan with a running knee.
Clay pops his shoulder up.
Benny Newell: WHAT THE FUCK BITCHER?!?!?!?!? YOU AND YOUR FUCKING SLOW COUNTS!
Joe Hoffman: There was nothing slow about that count Benny.
Benny Newell: I’m sure Joe Bergman paid you to say that didn’t he Hoffman?
Xander quickly mounts Clay and begins to rain down right hands.
Joe Hoffman: Xander has swarmed Clay like a pile of fire ants and hasn’t let up.
Benny Newell: If this is what we are going to get out of Clay Byrd at War Games he needs to fucking reevaluate his priorities. What the fuck has he been doing for the last month? Hugging grass?
Xander delivers a final blow before jumping up and letting out a primal scream and the Chicago crowd begins to cheer Azula.
Joe Hoffman: Seems the crowd is getting behind Xander.
Benny Newell: Don’t be ridiculous Hoffman. He’s fighting Clay Byrd. Everyone hates Clay Byrd.
Joe Hoffman: I don’t hate Clay Byrd.
Benny Newell: FUCK CLAY BYRD HOFFMAN! FUCK HIM!
Xander reaches down to pick up Clay, but the Texan shoves him back. Xander comes back and Wrestler of the Year stuns HOW’s prizefighter with a hard right hand.
Joe Hoffman: Xander is stunned! This is the opening Clay needs. Can he capitalize?
Clay uses the ropes to pull himself up and Xander comes charging in but Byrd sees him and pulls the top rope down and Xander goes barreling over the top rope and to the floor.
Benny Newell: Smart, for a birdbrain anyway.
Boettcher makes his way to the ropes and sees Xander laying on the floor and begins his count. Clay takes this moment to recover.
Joe Hoffman: Clay is trying recover. He’s been sluggish since the start. He’s showing his rust from his time away.
Benny Newell: Rust? The dude looks like a fucking statue in there.
Clay rolls out of the ring and begins to put the boots to Xander. Clay takes a few steps back before delivering a running punt to the ribs of Xander driving out all of his air.
Joe Hoffman: What a wicked shot.
Clay grabs Azula and throws him back into the ring. As Clay rolls back into the ring, Xander pounces on his opponent and the Texan pushes him off. Xander quickly goes forward to continue the assault but Byrd grabs him and takes him for a ride.
Benny Newell: SPINEBUSTER!
The Texan hops to his feet and lets out a primal scream as he beats his chest as the Chicago crowd voices their displeasure.
Crowd: FUCK YOU CLAY! FUCK YOU CLAY! FUCK YOU CLAY!
Benny Newell: Yes. Yes. Fuck Clay Byrd!
Clay flips off the crowd before dropping to a cover and hooking a leg.
Xander kicks out.
Clay immediately locks in a reverse chinlock and starts to slow the pace down.
Joe Hoffman: Smart by Byrd controlling the pace as he recovers.
Benny Newell: If Byrd is smart in your eyes, then Stevens is a fucking genius and Bobby Dean is still fat.
Joe Hoffman: What does that make Dan Ryan?
Benny Newell: Champion.
Boettcher asks Xander if he wants to quit, but Azula shouts no causing Byrd gouge at the eyes of his opponent.
Clay quits gouging Xander’s eyes and reapplies the chinlock.
Joe Hoffman: Clay living dangerously with the official’s count there.
Benny Newell: He should’ve been disqualified.
Clay begins to drive his elbows into the neck area of Xander before switching to crossfaces.
Joe Hoffman: I’m sure Xander will have ringing in his ears long after the match is done from those vicious crossfaces.
Benny Newell: Come on Xander!
Clay goes for the knockout blow as he reaches back deep looking to take Xander’s head off, but the prizefighter slips underneath and stuns Byrd with a kick to the face. Xander grabs the Texan and uses his strength to power the behemoth towards the nearest corner. Xander holds up his fist and runs towards Clay and jumps into the air looking for a Superman punch but……
Joe Hoffman: BIG BOOT!
Clay sends Xander to the canvas after nearly taking his head off with a massive big boot. Clay doesn’t let up his attack as he places Xander between his legs and reaches down.
Joe Hoffman: A possible powerbomb or piledriver coming up.
Clay powers Azula up, but there is still fight in Xander as he immediately unleashes right hands to the face of Byrd. Each blow causes Clay to stumble a bit and Azula sensing an opening immediately locks his legs around Clay’s neck and grabs his arm and leans back.
Joe Hoffman: TRIANGLE CHOKE!
Benny Newell: TAP BITCH! TAAAAAAAAP!
Clay drops to a knee and Boettcher asks if he wants to quit but Clay Byrd as defiant as ever just flicks him off.
Joe Hoffman: Apparently that’s the Texas answer to anything.
Benny Newell: Pretty much.
Xander pulls back some more and tightens his legs around Clay’s neck causing the Texan to yell out in agony.
Joe Hoffman: Xander apply more pressure.
Clay drops to both knees.
Joe Hoffman: Is Clay going to tap???
Benny Newell: I hope Xander breaks his arm if he doesn’t.
The Texan raises his arm high into the air.
Benny Newell: Here it comes Hoffman.
Crowd: TAP! TAP! TAP!
However, Clay doesn’t tap. Instead he lets out a roar as he musters enough strength as he gets to his feet and spiking Xander head first into the mat.
Joe Hoffman: HOLY HECK! GANSO BOMB!
Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
Benny Newell: The fuck was that Hoffhole?!?!?
Joe Hoffman: The Ganso Bomb.
Benny Newell: The Orgasmo Bomb? What kind of sick shit is Byrd into?!?!?!?
Joe Hoffman: It’s called the Ganso Bomb Benny. It was Clay Byrd’s finisher when he competed in Japan. He used it to perfection.
Clay clutching his arm begins to crawls to a pin and drapes an arm onto Xander.
Benny Newell: It was one hell of a fight Xander.
Xander popped the shoulder up at the last instant and Byrd can’t believe it and neither can the crowd as they roar with excitement.
Joe Hoffman: XANDER KICKED OUT! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!
Benny Newell: Believe it Hoffman. Clay’s used to premature ejaculation fighting those fucks in Japan, but when it comes to American talent you have to butter the biscuit first before you can reach your climax.
Joe Hoffman: What?
Benny Newell: Fucking virgin.
Clay continues to stare at Xander in disbelief and the Texan shakes out his arm to get back feeling into it as he gets to his feet and begins to puts the boots to Azula. Clay begins to target the back and ribs causing sever discomfort for HOW’s prizefighter. Clay makes his way over to Xander’s legs and Clay applies a submission that every Texan has in their arsenal.
Joe Hoffman: Texas Cloverleaf is applied and that is not good for Xander’s ribs and back.
Benny Newell: No shit.
Boettcher slides into position and asks Xander if he wants to quit but Azula shouts no.
Crowd: LETS GO XANDER!
Crowd: LETS GO XANDER!
Crowd: LETS GO XANDER!
Joe Hoffman: The crowd is clearly behind Xander Azula.
Xander begins to muster enough strength to begin crawling to the nearest set of ropes.
Benny Newell: Come on.
The will of the crowd will’s the prizefighter to not quit and inch closer to the ropes.
Joe Hoffman: Xander is almost to the ropes. A few more feet.
Benny Newell: He’s got it! He’s got it!
Xander reaches out with all his might and touches the ropes, before Clay pulls him back towards the center of the ring and sits way back on the submission causing Xander to howl in pain.
Joe Hoffman: This could be it for Azula.
Benny Newell: DON’T YOU TAP YOU FUCK!
Xander bites his wrist to stop himself from submitting and tries pushing up but Clay shifts is weight and Xander falls face first into the mat again. However, in doing so his right leg is closer to the reach of Xander who picks the ankle.
Benny Newell: YES!
Xander tries to go for a leg submission but Clay is able to kick him away. As Xander gets to his feet he turns around and gets cut in half by a charging Clay Byrd.
Joe Hoffman: SPEAR!
Clay Byrd rolls into a high press cover on Xander.
Xander kicks out and the roof of the Best Arena gets blown off by the cheers of the fans.
Joe Hoffman: OH MY! I CAN’T BELIEVE HE KICKED OUT AND NEITHER CAN CLAY BYRD!
Benny Newell: You got that right Hoffman.
Clay Byrd is wide eyed.
Clay Byrd: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!?
Clay says aloud as he looks at Boettcher who tells him it was a count of two.
Joe Hoffman: Clay looks like he is about to pull his hair out.
Clay slaps the mat in frustration as he backs into the nearest corner and crouches down yelling at Xander to get up.
Joe Hoffman: Clay may be looking for his lariat to possibly put Xander away.
Xander slowly rises to his feet and when he turns around Byrd charges at him looking for the Texas Size Lariat, but Xander is able to counter the attack as he grabs Clay’s arm and forces him to the mat.
Joe Hoffman: CROSSFACE! XANDER HAS THE CROSSFACE LOCKED IN!
Clay yells out in pain as Xander pulls back, but Clay sensing this uses the momentum to pick Xander on his shoulders.
Joe Hoffman: Smart counter by Clay almost defeated Azula.
Both men are spent as they are breathing heavily as they get to all fours.
Joe Hoffman: Both men are giving it all they have, but who will prevail here tonight.
Clay and Xander stare at each other as they are on there knees and begin to exchange punches.
Joe Hoffman: Listen to this crowd.
Byrd throws a punch.
Xander throws a punch.
Byrd throws a punch.
Xander throws a punch.
Byrd throws a punch.
Xander throws a punch.
Xander sees Clay stunned momentarily and spins and hits the backfist.
Joe Hoffman: FIST OF ERIS!
The impact causes Clay Byrd to stumble backwards and ricochet off of the ropes and when he does he launches himself at the approaching Azula.
Joe Hoffman: TEXAS SIZED LARIAT!
Benny Newell: FUCK!
Clay Byrd collapses from exhaustion on top of Xander Azula.
Boettcher signals for the bell.
Bryan McVay: And your winner by pinfall….CLAY! BYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRDDDDDDDDDDD
Joe Hoffman: What a match! Both men fought to the brink and Byrd comes out victorious.
Benny Newell: Clay Byrd may have won tonight, Hoffman, but he’s got a long way to go if he wants to win War Games much less survive it.
Joe Hoffman: That may be true because he looked very rusty here tonight.
Xander Azula gets to his feet and everyone in the Best Arena is on their feet giving the prizefighter a standing ovation except Clay Byrd who is utterly disgusted by the fan’s reaction towards Xander.
Clay disappears to the back and Xander looks on towards the audience and salutes them to a thundering applause before rolling out of the ring and heading up the ramp as we head to commercial.
Back live from commercial and we head to the office of the GOD of HOW where Lee Best is sitting behind his mahogany desk across from Zach Kostoff.
Lee Best: Look kid, we both know how this is going to end for you quite honestly I kinda respect the fact that you want to join the company and get some sort of revenge for your father.
Zach Kostoff: Look….I would be lying if I said that wasn’t part of this. But the biggest part of why I want to jump into the deep end is little more simple than that. Yes, I want to fight and put fist to face to every single person here that wronged my father. Yes, I want to grab you by the throat and pummel you until I finish the job my father never could……….but this isn’t entirely about him. This is about me. I have failed at everything else I have tried to do in my life and fighting is the only thing I am good at and quite frankly I always knew that if I just asked…….
Zach leans in towards Lee before continuing….
Zach Kostoff: You would sign me in a heartbeat just because my last name is Kostoff.
Lee smirks and nods in agreement as Zach leans back into his chair.
Lee Best: So you need to earn…is that it? You do realize that this here is just not a simple High Octane Wrestling contract? I added a few clauses……..quite frankly because yes……you are a Kostoff.
Zach Kostoff: I would expect nothing less. Pay me to punish me. Pay me to send the hounds after me. Pay me to ultimately meet the same end of my father………..Just. Fucking. Pay. Me.
Again, Lee nods his head in agreement as it is his turn to lean in.
Lee Best: Look kid I get it and you are right…I AM going to pay you to punish you because of your last night. I AM going to pay you and send the biggest and baddest motherfuckers on this planet to beat the ever loving shit out of you…….and yes…..I AM going to giggle like a motherfucking school girl will you ultimately end the same way your father did.
Lee pulls out a stack of papers and puts them on top of the desk and then slowly reaches into his pocket and pulls out THAT pen.
Zach immediately stares down at the pen and cannot take his gaze away as Lee signs the last page of the contract.
Lee Best: BOOM. Official on my side. Your turn kid.
The GOD of HOW pushes the papers towards Zach and then tosses a cheap bic pen for the young Kostoff to use.
Zach pops the cheap cap off the pen and goes to sign but no ink comes out. He has to shake a few times before the ink finally takes and then he immediately signs his name on the dotted line.
Lee Best: BOOM. I had a feeling you read as good as your old man. Maybe next time read a few of the paragraphs huh?
Zach Kostoff: I am good. Throw the whole kitchen sink at me. I do not care. When is my first match?
Lee Best: Settle down there numnuts……
Lee opens the bottom right drawer of his desk and pulls out a bottle of whiskey and grabs two glasses as well. He pours some liquor into each glass and hands one to Zach.
Lee Best: Here ya go kid……
Zach takes a glass into his hands and immediately downs the drink without waiting for Lee.
Lee smiles and slowly takes down his drink as well.
Lee Best: Do not be in such a rush. I would hate for you to burn out before we really go to have some fun……..but to answer your question and seeing you are fresh meat and at the bottom of the totem pole…….next week you will have a match against Charles de Lacy in a War Games qualifying match. How’s that for throwing you into the deep end?
Zach quickly jumps up to his feet and nods at Lee before turning and existing the office…slamming the door behind him.
Lee pours himself another shot of whiskey and this time takes it down quickly.
Lee Best: And away we go…….
We cut away as Lee can be seen smiling from ear to ear.
STRONK VS. SCOTT STEVENS
We cut back to the ringside area of The Best Arena. The fans are on their feet, buzzing over seeing a new son of Kostoff officially sign on the dotted line.
Joe Hoffman: Welcome back to Chaos 025 ladies and gentlemen. The son of Kostoff is officially a member of High Octane Wrestling and immediately has an opportunity to earn his way into the War Games match as he takes on Charles de Lacy next week in a Qualifying match.
Benny Newell: That kid is going to regret that very moment for the rest of his short life. Kid has a death wish!
Joe Hoffman: It sounds like the kid just wants to follow in his dad’s footsteps and who knows….we might have just seen the beginning of another Hall of Fame career here.
Benny Newell: So you started drinking huh? Got it.
Joe shakes his head and focuses in on the task at hand
Joe Hoffman: Ok folks up next we will see the man that attacked the current LSD Champion, Jace Parker Davidson, after his match at March To Glory.
Benny Newell: That man has a name, Hoffhole. And that name happens to be STRONK DADDY! He did what any sane person would have done after finding out what that traitorous pirate did to poor MONGO.
Joe Hoffman: That is speculation being thrown around by the Best family. They’ve successfully driven a wedge between Godson and the LSD Champion. But tonight isn’t about that, tonight Godson steps into the ring to face the challenge of Scott Stevens.
Benny Newell: Also known as the idiot that also allowed The Evil Empire to walk away from Manchester, England with the HOTv Championship.
Joe Hoffman: Should be a good one as we start down the road toward War Games. Let’s send it to Bryan McVay in the ring to make the introductions.
The camera shifts to the center of the ring where Bryan McVay can be seen standing with his microphone in hand.
Bryan McVay: Our next contest is scheduled for one fall!
The crowd pops loudly, ready for more action here tonight. Joel Hortega stands off to the side of McVay who begins to speak again.
Bryan McVay: Introducing first…
The lights in the arena go down as “STRONKER” by FLAV RILLE begins to play. STRonk Godson walks out onto the stage, with Michael Oliver Best following behind him. The fans pop for his arrival—promiscuous women and drunk and disorderly men, especially.
Bryan McVay: Currently residing in Chicago, Illinois. Weighing in tonight at 270 lbs. He is “The King of Stallions!” STRONK! GODSONNNNNNNNNN!
STRonk walks to the ring, and, just before stomping up the ring steps, grabs ahold of his ‘STRONK AF’ sleeveless tee shirt and rips it from his body with startling ease. STRonk enters the ring, while MOB stands out on the floor, looking on at the man that is now under his guidance.
Joe Hoffman: Godson looks impressive here tonight. Whatever he is doing to regain the muscle and physique that he once lost is definitely working. With Michael Oliver Best in his corner, you’ve got to wonder just how this version of Godson will be different from the one we’re used to seeing.
Benny Newell: STRonk is a member of The Final Alliance and Papa Best has done everything, and I mean everything, to put Godson in a position to succeed. No longer will the likes of Davidson and some nerd that has a name like Shelley, keep STRonk from standing at the top of the mountain here in HOW.
STRonk stands in his corner stoic and angry as McVay raises the microphone up to his lips again.
Bryan McVay: And his opponent…
The lights in the arena go black as the sound of bells is heard throughout the arena as the High Octane Vision comes to life as images begin to appear.
An abandoned church falling apart.
A field of tombstones.
The Book of Best with the Cross of Best is driven through it with blood pouring down it.
The blood pours down into it and forms the words….
The crowd knows who is about to walk out and they are letting him know it by chanting his favorite chant as the video screen goes black.
“FUCK YOU, STEVENS!” Clap x5
The wait is finally over as a spotlight shines towards the top of the entrance ramp as “O FORTUNA EXCALIBUR REMIX” by Apotheosis begins as Scott Stevens appears from behind the curtain wearing a black duster trench coat, a black Stetson hat, and his trademark 97Red colored circular sunglasses.
Bryan McVay: Introducing! From The Great State of Texas, weighing in at 256 lbs. He is the “Demi-God of HOW!” SCOTT! STEEEEEEEVEEEEEEEENS!
Stevens’ 97Red circular sunglasses glisten in the light and his usual devilish grin is replaced by an emotionless stare before pointing towards his opponent before he begins to slowly walk toward the ring.
Joe Hoffman: Earlier tonight Stevens made it clear about his feeling on Evan Ward being named the third Captain for War Games. Scott has been loyal to Lee Best since last year’s War Games match but seems like his blind faith has finally worn thin.
Benny Newell: Stevens is a man that gets high off of his own fumes. Lee Best gave him an opportunity to come back to HOW and what does Stevens do? He acts like Lee Best crawled on his hands and knees to The Lonesome Loser for help. Lee Best has ghosted Stevens since that very moment and it’s taken Stevens a whole fucking year to figure out that GOD just isn’t that into you.
Once he reaches the nearest set of ring steps he climbs up and wipes his feet on the apron before proceeding inside the ring. Once inside, The Demi-God takes off his coat and tosses it outside. He begins slowly taking off his Stetson before taking off his sunglasses to reveal a red eye as he places the glasses in the hat. McVay exits the ring as Stevens waits for the bell to ring. Hortega makes sure both men are ready and then gets things started.
Stevens comes out of his corner first, not at all intimidated by Godson who steps to the center of the ring. Stevens begins to talk down to, literally, the shorter but slightly more bulky Godson. STRonk has no patience or desire to listen to Stevens and begins firing off heavy shots to the midsection and chest of the HOW Hall of Famer. Stevens gets rocked backward with each shot until his back is against the ropes. Godson grabs a hold of Stevens and whips him across the ring into the ropes. Stevens bounces off the ropes as Godson ducks his head down. Stevens puts the brakes on and hits Godson with a stiff kick to the face. Godson stiffens up and staggers a bit. Stevens comes up from behind Godson and then gets him in a full nelson. STRonk tries to power out of it but Stevens chucks him up and over with a snap dragon suplex.
Joe Hoffman: Stevens with a stiff kick to the face of Godson and then an impressive show of strength with that snap dragon suplex.
Benny Newell: Of course, it true Stevens fashion it was a bad idea. Dumping STRonk on his head does zero damage.
STRonk lands head and shoulders but slowly pulls himself back up to his feet. STRonk turns around but Stevens charges and connects with a high knee to the face. STRonk staggers backward toward the ropes which keep him on his feet. Stevens opens with a series of knife-edged chops to the chest. Stevens grabs a hold of Godson by the arm and whips him into the ropes. Godson bounces off the ropes but Stevens catches him and hits him with Double S Spinebuster. The ring shakes from the impact of the move before Stevens gets back up to his feet. Stevens steps through the ropes and then begins to climb the turnbuckle. Stevens finds his balance on the top rope then leaps off and connects with a diving headbutt to the shoulder and chest of Godson. Stevens hooks the leg and makes the cover on STRonk as Hortega slides in for the count.
Joel Hortega: UNO
POWERFUL KICKOUT BY GODSON!
Joe Hoffman: Godson just launched Scott Stevens into the air kicking out after just a one count. Stevens hit all of that diving headbutt but Godson still has too much left in the tank to keep down.
Benny Newell: That is all the tutelage of Michael Oliver Best right there. He’s been teaching STRonk the right way to do things now that he’s rid of that scrawny little drug addict. Godson is the muscle and now he’s got the brain to lead him toward being the killer he’s supposed to be.
Stevens hits the canvas but quickly gets back up to his feet. STRonk pulls himself up to a vertical base. Stevens goes for a discus clothesline but Godson raises his arms into the air and blocks it. STRonk reaches up and grabs a hold of Stevens’ head with his massive hands. STRonk hits Stevens with a big headbutt that sends the Hall of Famer crashing down to the canvas. Stevens staggers back up to his feet in a dazed manner but STRonk grabs a hold of him from behind. STRonk lifts Stevens up into the air but then drops him with a backdrop driver down to the canvas.
Joe Hoffman: Godson blocked the big discus clothesline attempt by Stevens and now the big man is rolling here in the match. We’ll find out how resilient Scott Stevens is here as STRonk continues his assault.
Benny Newell: Let’s just call it what it is. STRonk just scrambled Stevens’ brains with that headbutt. And not he just deposited Stevens like a sack of potatoes down to the canvas. It’s the beginning of the end for the Demi-Douche of HOW.
STRonk gets back up feet and looks over toward Michael Oliver Best before making his next move. MOB gives STRonk a knowing look and then the big man focuses his attention back on Stevens who is still on the canvas. STRonk grabs a hold of Stevens by the hair and effortlessly pulls him back up to a vertical base. STRonk spins Stevens around and then hoists him up into the air again. STRonk drops Stevens with a second backdrop driver down to the canvas. STRonk gets back up and then repeats the process one more time hitting Stevens with a third backdrop driver down to the canvas. Stevens tries to roll out of the ring but STRonk stops him. STronk lifts Stevens high up into the air and holds him in place for a good while. STRonk spikes Stevens down to the canvas with a vertical drop brainbuster. STRonk hooks the leg and makes the cover on Stevens as Hortega slides in.
Joel Hortega: UNO
Joel Hortega: DOS
STEVENS SHOOTS HIS SHOULDER OFF OF THE CANVAS BEFORE THE THREE!
Joe Hoffman: STRonk just about broke Stevens’ neck with the vertical drop brainbuster. But much to STRonk’s disgust, Stevens managed to get his shoulder off the canvas before the three count was made.
Benny Newell: Stevens has been whining and crying about the fact that he wasn’t named a Captain for War Games. So, he’s out here tonight risking life and limb in a futile effort to try and beat STRonk. Basically, Stevens is a fool and doesn’t know when to stay down.
STRonk gets up to his feet and is absolutely fuming over the fact that Stevens managed to get his shoulder off of the canvas. STRonk begins to lay in heavy stomps to Stevens but even that isn’t enough to out the fire of hatred in his eyes. STRonk steps through the ropes and slowly begins to climb the turnbuckle.
Joe Hoffman: I do not like the thought of a 270 lb man like Godson climbing to the top rope. Nothing good can happen in this situation if you’re Scott Stevens.
STRonk gets midway up the turnbuckle but suddenly the crowd begins to react. STRonk looks around a bit until finally up at the HOV. The fans are reacting to the current HOW LSD Champion Jace Parker Davidson standing backstage. Davidson has the eyepatch over his eye and the LSD Championship belt over his shoulder. Davidson is standing in front of a monitor backstage and is watching the match play out.
Benny Newell: What the hell is he doing here in Chicago?! Someone take him off of the screen. He’s distracting STRonk!
STRonk is indeed distracted by the image of Jace Parker Davidson on the HOV. The blood boils inside of the 270 lb monster but on the outside MOB pounds his cane onto the floor and hells at STRonk to focus. STRonk takes his eyes off Davidson and makes it to the top rope. STRonk leaps off the top rope and goes for a big tsunami splash on Stevens.
Joe Hoffman: STEVENS ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!
The ring quivers with the impact of STRonk hitting the canvas and coming up empty. Stevens uses the ropes and begins to pull himself back up to his feet slowly. STRonk gets back up on his feet holding his midsection in pain but then charges at Stevens. Scott sees STRonk coming and then pulls down the top rope causing Godson to tumble over the ropes and down to the arena floor. Stevens rolls out of the ring and gives chase to Godson. STRonk pulls himself back up to his feet but Stevens gives him a boot to the midsection before hitting him with a side Russian leg sweep into the barricade. The back of Godson’s head hits hard as Stevens gets back up to his feet.
Benny Newell: Why is Hortega taking a siesta?! Do your freaking job and get Stevens off of STRonk!
Stevens grabs a hold of STRonk and then pulls the man back up to his feet. Stevens whips STRonk shoulder first into the steel ring steps. STRonk hits with a loud thud and the steps literally explode upon impact. Stevens makes his way over but ends up standing face-to-face with Michael Oliver Best. The two men stare at each other intensely before Stevens starts to trash-talk Lee Best’s brother.
Joe Hoffman: Scott Stevens is having it out with Michael Oliver Best here at ringside while STRonk is down. Our cameras can’t pick up what is being said by Stevens.
Benny Newell: Stevens is obviously just whining about not being a War Games captain this year. Honestly, the guy hasn’t won a single match in 2023 and he wonders why he isn’t a War Games captain. I just hope MOB doesn’t offer that whiny bitch his handkerchief.
MOB sneers at Stevens who turns his attention back towards his opponent. Stevens grabs a hold of STRonk and then rolls him back into the ring. Stevens slides back into the ring as STRonk begins to pull himself up to his knees. Stevens gets a running start then levels Godson with Don’t Mess With Texas right to the face. The knee shot to the face hits the mark and Godson is put on his back. Stevens hooks the leg and makes the cover on Godson as Hortega slides in.
Joel Hortega: UNO
Joel Hortega: DOS
Joel Hortega: TRE–
NO!!! GODSON GETS HIS SHOULDER OFF THE CANVAS BEFORE THE THREE!!!
Joe Hoffman: There was no strong kick out there by STRonk. No launching Stevens into the air after a one count. That running knee shot to the face nearly ended it if not for Godson getting his shoulder off of the canvas at the last split second.
Benny Newell: Someone please explain to me how that isn’t a disqualification?!
Joe Hoffman: It was a clean shot, Benny!
Benny Newell: Was it? Stevens used the knee that has a heavy brace on it. The last time I checked a heavy brace is pretty much a foreign object. One that he just used to almost beat STRonk. This isn’t an LSD rules match, Stevens has resorted to cheating! He’s spent way too much time over in the EVIL EMPIRE!!!
Stevens gets to his feet and then begins hitting repeated knee drops to the skull of Godson using the knee with the heavy brace. Godson is busted open as Stevens pulls him back up to his feet. Stevens gives STRonk a boot to the midsection then whips him into the corner. Godson hits the turnbuckle hard before Stevens gets a running start. Stevens leaps into the air and goes for a Stinger Splash but Godson sees him coming.
Joe Hoffman: Godson just caught Stevens in midair!
Godson indeed plucks Stevens out of the air and wraps his arms around him. STRonk begins to squeeze Stevens tightly while swinging his opponent side to side like a ragdoll.
Joe Hoffman: What is Godson doing?!
Benny Newell: Isn’t it obvious?! Stevens is finally getting that hug he’s been chasing for so long!!!
Godson continues to sling Stevens around back and forth but Stevens counters by biting STRonk in the head where he’s been busted open. The tactic works and makes Godson release his grip on the HOW Hall of Famer. Stevens takes a moment to recover from begins squeezed by Godson. STRonk staggers out of the corner as Stevens approaches. Stevens leaps and…
Joe Hoffman: TOXIC STING!
Benny Newell: COUNTERED!
Godson pushes Stevens off of him and into the ropes. Stevens turns around but STRonk charges and hits Stevens with a huge spear that nearly cuts the man in half. Stevens hits the canvas hard and rolls around holding his midsection in pain. STRonk gets back up to his feet as MOB makes a throat-cutting motion with his thumb across his neck. STRonk nods and then grabs a hold of Stevens off of the canvas. STRonk lifts Stevens up onto his shoulders before hitting him with the Squat Rack Breaker. Stevens crumbles down to the canvas as STRonk places his meaty hands on Stevens to make the cover.
Joel Hortega: UNO
Joel Hortega: DOS
Joel Hortega: TRES!!!
DING DING DING!!!
Bryan McVay: Here is your winner STRONK GODSONNNNN!!!!
Hortega gets up to his feet and raises Godson’s arm into the air in victory. STRonk pulls away from Hortega and continues to glare down at Stevens. STRonk leans over and begins to reach for Stevens’ glass eye but MOB has entered the ring and stopped Godson from grabbing it.
Joe Hoffman: STRonk Godson with the big win here tonight over Scott Stevens and that will give him a boost in the standings when it comes to getting a spot in the War Games match. However, it looks like Godson was going to pluck Stevens’ glass eye out of his skull.
Benny Newell: MOB made here that STRonk didn’t touch anything as filthy as a Scott Stevens glass eye. The job is complete and Stevens begins irrelevant once again as MOB makes sure STRonk is focused and ready for War Games.
Joe Hoffman: I’m getting word that we’re going to try and get someone backstage to get a word with the LSD Champion. Let’s take it here from ringside to the backstage area here in the Best Arena.
In the backstage area, the camera focuses on HOW interviewer Brian Bare who has his microphone in hand. Bare looks like he just got pulled out of bed or out of a restroom where he was performing certain activities. Bare clears his throat, wipes his nose, and then speaks into the microphone.
Brian Bare: Thank you, Joe. I’m here with the current HOW LSD Champion, Jace Parker Davidson.
The crowd gives a mixed reaction as Jace steps into camera range. He has the LSD Championship belt displayed over his shoulder and his eyepatch covering his eye. Davidson looks Bare up and down with his one good eye.
Davidson: Seriously? I get stuck with you?
Brian Bare: I was told that Blaire was unavailable for this interview.
Jace shakes his head at the obviously petty tactic by Lee Best. Jace squares his shoulders and then adjusts the LSD Championship belt.
Davidson: Of course, that’s the case. Whatever, continue.
Bare nods his head and then takes a moment to think of how to proceed.
Brian Bare: At March To Glory, you successfully retained the LSD Championship belt against the #1 ranked wrestler in HOW, Steve Solex. What are your thoughts on that match and Steve Solex as a competitor?
Davidson: I think it was a dumb fucking idea to go all the way to Manchester, England to play a game of Hide and Seek with Steve Solex for this Championship belt on my shoulder. However, I’m just the Champion, after all, I’m not the brains behind the operation. I guess they all can’t be winners, huh Lee?
Davidson smirks toward the camera before continuing.
Davidson: As far as Solex goes? He’ll brush off this loss like it doesn’t even matter. We all saw how he was rewarded by being named a captain of a War Games team after losing to me on Sunday night. Solex’s protected ass will strut around with his fake ass Santa Claus beard, proud as a peacock that he’s technically still the #1 ranked wrestler. We’ll hear for weeks on end about how Solex wasn’t pinned or submitted at March To Glory but the tape doesn’t lie. Everyone saw Solex’s skull go through that oven door and no matter how many times you repeated that Steve Solex is the #1 ranked wrestler in HOW. Everyone will always remember that I am the one in 4-1. I know that just eats Solex alive on the inside.
Brian Bare: Michael Oliver Best was the man tasked with holding the LSD Championship belt that you recovered in Manchester. However, that led to a vicious attack from your former friend STRonk Godson. As we saw earlier tonight, you had a vested interest in watching Godson defeat Scott Stevens just moments ago.
Jace’s expression turns to one of dead seriousness as he reaches up with his free hand and rubs over his neck. Thoughts of being locked in the Loop Hold fill his mind before he exhales through his nostrils and speaks in a low dark tone.
Davidson: I got stabbed in the eye for the sole purpose of giving Steve Solex an advantage in a scavenger hunt for my title. That didn’t work, so what does Lee do next? He flies his brother to Manchester and has him turn my friend against me. I don’t know what they’ve told you or what lies have become a reality for you. I just want you to listen and look at me when I say this, STRONK.
Jace steps closer to the camera and then points up toward the eyepatch.
Davidson: The man that you call Papa Best did this to me. After everything I’ve done for him and his God-forsaken company. I feel nothing but mind-numbing pain from this every single waking moment of my life. And even still… it doesn’t hurt nearly as much as you stabbing me in the back because a couple of old bitter narcissists decided to try and keep me under their thumb.
Jace’s jaw tightens.
Davidson: I rattled too many cages, asked too many questions, and decided that stand up for myself and my accomplishments. I stopped putting the last name Best before the last name Davidson, so now, the mission statement is that Jace needs to be punished, Jace is going to be punished more, and just wait and see what we do to Jace next. It’s got nothing to do with punishment, it has to do with them doing everything possible to stop me. That’s where you come in, Godson.
Jace grips his hand on the LSD Championship belt on his shoulder.
Davidson: You want to be a pawn in Lee’s fucked up little game? That’s fine, it’s fitting actually. You go from being manipulated by one man to being manipulated by another. Congratulations on becoming the 2023 HOW version of Kirsta Lewis. But no matter how heartbroken I am by this betrayal. No matter how ironic it is that everyone and their mother cried over and over last year that Jace would turn on STRONK. I’m standing right here through it all.
Jace lets a sinister smile spread across his features.
Davidson: You choked me out in England, but much like Solex and everyone else in the Final Alliance. You didn’t finish the job. So, if you want a fight? Then you got one! You want this LSD Championship belt on my shoulder? You want to use it to be over 300 lbs again? Then come and fucking get it!
Brian Bare: That would be one hell of a match but it’s already been announced that next week you’ll be defending the LSD Championship belt against Darin Zion.
Bare added as Jace turns his head for a moment and scoffs.
Davidson: Let me guess, it’ll be a contest over who makes the best animal noises or something just as ridiculous. Doesn’t matter. Darin Zion gets shot number 97,000 at a HOW Championship belt. And just like every single time that he’s tried since I’ve returned, he’ll fail miserably. Zion is fodder, just a speed bump that Lee Best will throw at me week after week leading into War Games. That’s fine, you want this belt, Darin?
Jace lifts the LSD Championship belt into the air and pushes the gold plate close to the camera lens.
Davidson: Just try and take me from me. Next week? I’m going to show you just how much that Love hurts.
Jace lowers the belt and walks off down the hallway leaving Bare standing there holding his microphone.
The show cuts to the ring where the atmosphere is tense and hostile. The crowd is screaming, showing their true feelings for the man standing in the middle of the ring with a mic in hand.
The screams of the crowd are a familiar sound to him, but not like this. The last time he stood in this ring they were screams of adoration, of joy at watching one of their favourite wrestlers entertain them. These screams are something new, they are screams of disdain and betrayal. Screams of the broken hearted.
The Hall Of Famer, Evan Ward, stands there arrogant and amused at the reaction. He raises the mic to his lips to speak but is cut off by a torrent of boos before he can even open his mouth. A smile crosses his face as he rolls his eyes. Ward takes the opportunity to lean over the ropes and beckon them on, mocking the sort of gesture he performed in the past to hype up the crowd and amp up their cheers. This, of course, riles the crowd up even more than his mere presence in the ring.
Joe Hoffman: Well, folks, the fans in the arena tonight certainly are making their thoughts known about Evan Ward’s surprise return in Manchester.
Benny Newell: Can you believe it? Ward grew a pair and stopped being a pussy! About damn time!
Joe Hoffman: I don’t think that’s how everyone at home sees it, Benny. A lot of people are very confused about his actions, but I think we’re about to get an explanation…
The boos turn to chants, the good old fashioned “You suck” being the loudest and most prominent of the lot. This made sense as there had not yet been much time for the communal hive mind of the fans to figure out a chant which could fully portray their feelings toward the once loved wrestler, especially when everyone is still by his betrayal.
Ward flicks a wrist dismissively at the fans as strides back to the middle of the ring, smirking in a self satisfied way.
Evan Ward: Why…
The single, drawn out word, spoken clearly and calmly into the microphone silences the crowd.
Evan Ward: Why… That is the question you’re all asking yourselves, aren’t you? Why did I do it? Why did I make a surprise comeback, get you all excited to see your beloved Evan Ward, the straight laced do-gooder, Mr. Pure Wrestling himself, stand up for what’s just and right… only to break your hearts and break Conor Fuse’s face across my knee… The sort of heinous things for which I would have lambasted anyone else a decade ago.
He looks over the crowd, now silent and eagerly awaiting his next words, holding on to the faintest of hopes that he would have a good reason which would explain away this misunderstanding. Ward just shrugs apathetically.
Evan Ward: Why… Why does it even matter what my reasons were?
Benny Newell: Ha! Too right. It’s none of their damn business.
Joe Hoffman: The fans have a right to know, Benny.
This jab causes the crowd to scream their disapproval once more, which clearly amuses the Hall of Famer
Evan Ward: I don’t care what you think about me or how upset all you sheep get over what I have to say! It isn’t like you all, individually at the exact same time, decided that I’m a wrong’un. You’re booing me because I made you boo me. It was my choice, all of you are just following the script I laid out without any real thought of your own.
The crowd does not like this one bit. Here is one of the few wrestlers they thought they could rely on to always be a shining example of what’s good in the business, a true role model to look up to, and he is berating them and betraying them. The crowd is close to becoming literally riotous while their idol of yesteryear chuckles to himself.
Evan Ward: All this fun aside, I didn’t come back to the ring for you. I didn’t return to entertain any of you marks. The only person I’m here for is myself, no one else. Lee Best invited me back, he gave me the opportunity to step in this legendary ring again, to once more lead a War Games team to victory… but I didn’t return out of a sense of obligation or loyalty to him. It was just a golden ticket to once more feel the exhilaration and adrenaline of putting everything on the line in the most intense and high risk sport in the world. Wrestling in HOW is like the worst, best drug and after being clean for so many years I’m selfishly relapsing to chase the biggest high of them all: Winning War Games.
Evan pauses for effect and takes a moment to look around at the packed arena. Everyone is still teetering on losing control. Evan rubs his temples with the thumb and middle finger of his free hand as if to massage a thought together.
Evan Ward: You might think what I did to Conor was at Lee’s behest, stomping on a kitten as tribute for bringing me back. You could think that but you’d be wrong. That was all me. My choice. My decision. My actions at March 2 Glory weren’t personal, laying out Conor wasn’t vindictive and it certainly wasn’t following anyone’s orders. All it was was a nice, simple message, one so straight forward that even you, sir, there in the front, the slowest and mentally deficient of all our viewers and even the most brain injured of the roster could understand…
Joe Hoffman: That’s not really an explanation. It was a message? What’s he talking about?
Benny Newell: Of course you don’t get it, Hoffman, you’re an idiot.
Evan turns to pace across the other side of the ring, ignoring the random man in the crowd he had pointed as he is tackled by security when attempting to climb over the barrier in a fit of rage. Evan rolls his eyes.
Evan Ward: Urgh, I’m going to have to spell it out to you, aren’t I? 10 years ago, still a kid in the eyes of so many, I stood in the War Games ring, captain of a team I pieced together from the dregs of the roster, and against all odds, against the very best the company has to offer, I beat them all. Every. Single. Person…
The War Games captain pauses as the crowd murmurs. They are unsure where he was going with this but they surely knew it would not make them happy.
Evan Ward: I won War Games, in spite of the massive handicap I wrestled under… No, I’m not talking about the shattered knee I suffered in the match or the multiple concussions or profuse blood loss. No, I’m talking about the morals which I, as a naive child, shackled myself to. The pointless ethics which made you all adore me and cheer for me… They weighed me down and held me back. A self imposed restriction which I spent every moment in that ring fighting against myself to maintain, that I stressed about what would happen if I let slip even an inch. Where did it get me, huh?
Evan looked to the angry audience for an answer to his rhetorical question.
Evan Ward: I tied one metaphorical hand behind my back and all it did was make life harder for myself as I chased the adoration of you assholes all around me… And yet, I was still considered one of the best. Even while I was chained to my ridiculous ethics I still fought at the highest level of wrestling this company has ever seen. All you scumbags ever wanted was more of that, as I killed myself to live up to your overblown expectations!
Joe Hoffman: Wow, Ward is not holding back here.
Benny Newell: He’s just telling it as it is, what’s wrong with that?
The crowd is once more unhinged and booing wildly.
Evan Ward: Yeah, yeah, bring it on. If you’re pissed at me now I can’t wait to see how you react to what I have planned. When I lead my team into that War Games cage and lay waste to the competition you’ll be totally livid. In Manchester I sent the world a message that Evan Ward is free. Unshackled from the morals and ethics which held me back. I am going to win War Games again, by any means or die trying. No holding back. No fear of going too far. No shying away from necessary brutality, just doing what needs to be done whatever the cost may be to whoever stands in my way. Conor Fuse was just the start. Make no mistake, people, this time around I won’t be playing nice with the peons in my team, concerned for their feelings and making them get along like pals on a playdate. The four top tier wrestlers on my team will have just one job: to destroy all opposition. Any of them fucks around and they’ll get the same treatment as Conor. Team mates or not, you get in the way of my victory and you’ll be eating through a straw for a month.
Evan Ward: You’ve seen what I’m capable of when I’m being fair and honourable and a pathetic attention whore seeking your adoration wanting to be everyone’s friend… Just imagine what I will do to whoever gets in my way now I truly, honestly don’t give a damn, a ruthless captain hellbent on domination… Because you know what?
The wrestler grins intimidatingly.
Evan Ward: It’s going to be fucking Awesome.
“Collective Consciousness” hits the speakers as Ward throws down the mic and rolls out the ring.
Joe Hoffman: Well, there you have it folks, the Hall Of Famer, the third Team Captain at War Games, Evan Ward, pretty much just put the entire roster on notice, even his potential team mates.
Benny Newell: Yeah, it’ll be great! I always liked the flippy shit he did in the ring but now I can agree with his attitude too! He answered all my questions!
Joe Hoffman: He didn’t really answer anything, Benny. We’re still none the wiser about what’s brought on this drastic change in attitude since we last saw him a few years ago.
Benny Newell: A lot can change in a few years, Hoffman. Maybe he finally had that operation he’d desperately needed since he first debuted.
Joe Hoffman: What operation?
Benny Newell: The one to remove that stick from his ass.
Joe Hoffman: Urgh… anyway, we’ll be right back after this, folks.
EVIL EMPIRE HAS NO MANNERS
Back live and the HOV comes on and a graphic- “MVW TV Studio – St. Louis, Missouri” is displayed at the bottom of the screen.
The camera focuses in on a wrestling ring in the middle of the building surrounded by roughly 150 fans. Then it pans up to one of the walls- a sign there says “MVW’s Six-O-Five”.
Panning back and the zooming in to the people inside the ring, R.G. Jenkins and Mark Hendry aka The Alabama Gang stand in the center flanked by their manager Sunny O’Callahan.
Jenkins wears a black bandana over his bald head, a black sleeveless vest, and black jeans.
Hendry wears an Alabama Gang t-shirt that doesn’t hide his heavily tattooed arms and a nondescript pair of basic black wrestling trunks.
Sunny’s dressed in the fashion of a female background singer from a late seventies Southern rock band wearing a spaghetti strap top, a pair of jeans, heels, and her usually straight hair is all frizzed out and curly.
Both Jenkins and Hendry have a HOTv Tag Team title belt slung over their shoulders. Sunny takes a swig from a bottle of Southern Comfort and sways back and forth.
R.G. Jenkins: Mark Hendry and I were all ginned up for our big showdown with Dan Ryan and Jatt Starr tonight but I guess the… powers that be… decide’d we’ll be throwin’ it down next Sunday night instead. I know… I know… HOW is runnin’ a show in St. Louis next week… it’s the hometown of Missouri Valley Wrestling. It’s a natural fit, yes? MVW’s The Alabama Gang defending the HOTv tag belts in St. Louis… the home of MVW, right?
Jenkins glances at Hendry. Both men shrug.
R.G. Jenkins: Well, there’s a slight problem with that. Mark and me… we won’t be there.
The crowd on hand cheers. Sunny nods her head up and down to confirm what Jenkins has just said.
R.G. Jenkins: I’ve said it once… I’ll say it again. Dan Ryan. Jatt Starr.
Jenkins pats the belt over his shoulder.
R.G. Jenkins: Y’all want these belts… well, y’all gonna have to come to our house to do it. The Enterprise Center may be in St. Louis but it ain’t ‘our’ house. Y’all are gonna have to show up at an MVW house show if you want these belts.
Jenkins pats Hendry on the back.
R.G. Jenkins: Where are we gonna be next Sunday, Mark?
Mark Hendry: We’re going to be in Paducah, Kentucky.
Sunny takes a drink from her bottle of Southern Comfort.
R.G. Jenkins: So… Dan Ryan. Jatt Starr. We’ll see you next Sunday night in Paducah, Kentucky. It’s going to be fun. The Alabama Gang don’t have anything to lose here because no one expects us to beat Dan Ryan and Jatt Starr.
Mark Hendry: We’re playin’ with house money right now, R.G.
Jenkins slaps him in the back.
R.G. Jenkins: Damn right we are! I think it’s gonna be quite the thing to see two world-class wrestlers… Dan Ryan and Jatt Starr… legends in the industry… walk down the ramp the Carson Arena next Sunday night in little ol’ Paducah, Kentucky to challenge the Alabama Gang for these HOTv Tag Team titles.
Now joining the trio in the shot… the owner of Missouri Valley Wrestling- Ray McAvay.
Ray McAvay: Dan Ryan. Jatt Starr. I so cannot wait to see both of you inside an MVW ring in front of our fans in Paducah, Kentucky next Sunday night. I’m sure you both are riding high after it took three of you to defeat Joe Bergman at March to Glory and you didn’t even pin Joe… you pinned poor Scott Stevens to do it.
McAvay gestures with his hands to calm down the fans.
Ray McAvay: Now now… no matter what I think of what went down at March to Glory… the reason I came out here is to assure both Dan and Jatt that I will make sure they will be treated with the same fairness that Joe Bergman received last weekend in England.
It takes a couple seconds for the fans to get the meaning of what McAvay said. Then…
It’s made clearer when two other tag teams climb into the ring. Cletus T. Johnson and Enos T. Johnson aka The Kentucky Redneck Mafia along with valet… and the wife of one Adam Ellis… Ginny Van Lear stand next to the Alabama Gang on one side and Boone Daniels and Crockett Davies aka The Kings of the Wild Frontier-both dressed as 1800s frontiersmen, stand on the other side.
Ray McAvay: Of course, we all saw how that three versus one match worked out for Bergman the other night, right?
McAvay smiles. Then he gets serious.
Ray McAvay: Well. Luckily for Dan Ryan and Jatt Starr, that’s not the way I do things here.
Ray motions to the other two teams and they exit the ring.
Ray McAvay: That’s not how I operate. This is a title match and ask anyone here… I take title matches very seriously. I don’t put up with shenanigans, outside interference, or any other bullshit taking place in title matches. I don’t put any of my champions in bullshit three-way or four-way title matches either… you know, matches where they can lose the title without being pinned or submitted. And I certainly don’t screw my champions over by putting them in defacto three versus one matches either. But that’s just me.
Ray McAvay: No. Dan Ryan and Jatt Starr have earned their title chance fair and square in the ring at the recent HOW lethal lottery show. Whether I like it or not, they will get the fair shot at winning the HOTv tag team title belts next Sunday night… in Paducah, Kentucky… that Joe Bergman didn’t get when he defended the HOTv title belt in Manchester last weekend.
McAvay steps towards the camera.
Ray McAvay: That’s right boys. Both of you should be kissing my ass right now because you’ll get the fair match next Sunday night that Joe Bergman should have got at March to Glory. See you boys Sunday in Kentucky. Oh and Lee… here’s your Evil Empire right back atcha.
McAvay flips off the camera… and Sunny does too… as the HOV goes black.
REAL AMERICAN HERO
We cut back to ringside….
Joe Hoffman: We’re back live and… I apologize… my broadcast partner, Benny Newell, got up saying he had to take care of something and during that MVW segment…
There is a muffling and scraping against a microphone as Benny Newell returns to his seat and puts the headset back on.
Benny Newell: Shut the fuck up, Joe. I’m right here. Ain’t no way I’m missing this.
Joe Hoffman: Why are you dressed in a tuxedo?!
Benny Newell: Figures you didn’t get an invite.
Joe Hoffman: An invite to what?!
“THE COMMAND OF THE CONSTITUTION IS PLAIN!”
The crowd erupt into thunderous boos as “The Greatest American” by Cracked Prism Studios plays. Christopher America makes his way out in a red tuxedo, white shirt, blue tie, and blue pocket square. Dangling from his left wrist is the HOW World Championship looking shinier and more radiant than usual.
Joe Hoffman: Two hundred and sixty-six. That was the number of days that Michael Lee Best held the HOW World Championship. And at March To Glory, that man, Christopher America did the unimaginable. I have to give America all the credit in the world. Conor Fuse put up one of the most amazing, heroic, and heartfelt performances I’ve ever seen, working through a dislocated shoulder and even using America’s own move against him. But it wasn’t enough as the Hall of Famer defeated Conor Fuse and now holds the record for the longest reigning World Champion in HOW history.
For months, America has made it his mission to do what he has been calling “going coast to coast.” This man wants to hold the HOW World Championship up to War Games. And if successful, America will have a very tall task in trying to retain his championship inside the steel structure – a feat that hasn’t been done since Aceldama.
America climbs into the ring with the title and turns towards the entrance ramp. The entrance music swells as dozens of stage hands suddenly burst out from the back. Within minutes, risers are erected on stage, a table with presents is positioned in the ring and off to the side, a small archway rises and is placed in the center of the ring, a high table adorned with an American flag cloth is placed right next to the champion, and another podium is set up near the archway as America smiles wide.
America places the HOW World Championship lovingly on the high table.
The United States Army Field Band now begins filing themselves onto the risers with their musical instruments as the conductor takes her place out in front.
Joe Hoffman: Another celebration ceremony? These haven’t turned out well for America in the past.
Benny Newell: Shut the fuck up and show some respect. You don’t see other people talking right now and I don’t want to get thrown out! This is a big deal!
Joe Hoffman: Thrown out of what?!
Benny smiles, nods, and raises his hand to acknowledge America. America looks back at Benny, flashing a thumbs up and miming nervousness to him. America looks to the rafters and takes a deep breath, blowing air out through his mouth.
As the band finishes getting settled, a man in a suit comes out and makes his way to the ring.
Joe Hoffman: What is this now?
Benny Newell: Shhhhh!
Joe Hoffman: Why won’t you tell me what’s going on?
The man climbs enters the ring and stands at the podium, nodding at both America and his championship. America looks at the title and then nods back at the man.
We are gathered here today to celebrate Christopher America and the HOW World Championship as they make a promise and commitment of love to one another.
The crowd immediately boos as they realize what is going on.
Joe Hoffman: You’ve got to be kidding me!
Benny Newell: You don’t like it, then leave! But don’t ruin this for the happy couple!
Officiant: Committing yourself to share in the gift and joy of another human— er— something else is truly a beautiful thing.
Commitment is about trust. It’s about having patience in some of the bad times, the hope that things will get better, and the happiness when those good times are present. It’s about finding the joy and love in the small things and the gratefulness in the big things. It’s about returning love to the other person tenfold what they’ve given to you.
And so, as we reflect on these words, I’d like to ask Chris, if you could please get the rings.
Joe Hoffman: Rings?!?!
The United States Army Field Band plays “America, The Beautiful” as George, America’s bald eagle flies down and lands on America’s arm. In his beak are two objects, a gold ring and a diamond. America thanks George quietly as he flies to the back. The officiant motions for America to face the championship as the boos from the crowd grow even louder.
Officiant: Do you, uh, HOW World Championship, promise to spend your life with Christopher America, meeting each new day with love and respect, devoting yourself to him, constantly working to better yourself for him, in times easy and difficult?
Crowd: JUST-SAY-NO! JUST-SAY-NO! JUST-SAY-NO! JUST-SAY-NO! JUST-SAY-NO!
The officiant and America turn to the audience but only America scowls. He mimes for the crowd to quiet down which only invites them further. He leans towards the World Championship with his ear suddenly smiling wide.
Christopher America: She said yes!
America places the diamond on an inset he had placed on the backside of the championship.
The crowd boos again.
Officiant: And do you, Christopher America, promise to spend your life with the HOW World Championship, meeting each new day with love and respect, devoting yourself to her, constantly working to better yourself for her, in times easy and difficult?
America, looking at the championship with complete devotion, nods.
Christopher America: I DO!
The crowd again boos as America slips the ring on his own finger.
Officiant: Christopher America and the HOW World Championship are bound together now in commitment to each other. Spiritually. Symbolically.
Christopher America: …and soon to be physically!
The audience laughs as the officiant just stares in disbelief.
Officiant: By the authority vested in me by the American Commitment Ceremonies Association, and with the love and respect of all those here today…
Crowd: SHUT THE FUCK UP! Clap-clap-clapclapclap SHUT THE FUCK UP! Clap-clap-clapclapclap
Officiant: I now pronounce you joined. You may now… uh… wear?… the championship?
America rushes the belt, picks it up, kisses the metallic plate and quickly drapes the title over his shoulder, clutching it tightly, and spinning around. After a few moments celebrating, with the band playing “Hail To The Chief” for the happy couple, America walks over to the side of the ring and is handed a microphone from the attendant.
Christopher America: I want to thank you all here today for sharing in this special occasion. Uhm, wow, I’m just… I’m so overwhelmed. I want to thank The Best Family, Lee, Michael, and Tyler for this opportunity. I want to thank the members of the Final Alliance and, of course, Benny Newell. And I… what’s that, dear?
America leans into the championship and gasps in pure joy.
Christopher America: The HOW World Championship says she had the band do something special for me! Oh! I’m so excited for this!
America turns to the band as the intro to “Battle Hymn of the Republic” begins to play. Regally, beautifully, patriotically, the singers begin.
Behold, America! To him we pledge our allegiance;
He is trampling out the enemies of The Alliance;
He hath loosed the fateful lightning on those who show defiance;
His reign is marching on.
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! (GLORIA!)
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! (GLORIA! GLORIA!)
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! (GLORIA!)
His reign is marching on.
I have seen him in the main events of a dozen Pay-Per-Views;
They have deemed him the winner o’er “The Vintage” Conor Fuse;
He always defends her honor and refuses to lose;
His reign is marching on.
Reign is marching. Reign is marching.
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
His reign is marching on!
He has sounded forth the trumpet of his victory;
He is breaking men’s bodies with assault and battery;
Oh, behold, mine eyes, the glory as we witness history!
His reign is marching on.
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
HIS REIGN IS MARCHING ON!
A mixed reaction rises up from the crowd, cheering the band and booing America simultaneously. America looks like he’s holding back tears as Benny Newell sniffles. The camera cuts to the two commentators as Benny stands up and applauds.
Benny Newell: All time great performance!
Joe Hoffman has his head in his hand in disbelief.
Benny Newell: Can’t you just be happy for the couple?
Joe Hoffman: Well, folks, coming up, we…
Joe is immediately cut off by America who is still in the ring.
Christopher America: I know that you’re looking forward to where life will take us next, but I also got a present for you. For this present, however, I’d like to have the band leave and the officiant leave. Thank you all for everything. It meant a lot for you to share this special moment with us.
America puts on a large smile and then motions for them to make their way to the back. As they do, America turns and looks at his title.
Christopher America: I wanted this setting to be… a little more intimate.
You see, I was trying to think of what was the perfect present that I could get you.
I thought about a new leather strap. Something a little more… provocative.
I thought about a brand new display case with LED lighting to illuminate your… sensuous curves.
Joe Hoffman: I’m going to be sick. PUT THOSE BINOCULARS AWAY!
Benny Newell: Never! I want to see what he got her!
Christopher America: But I realized that none of that is good enough for you.
And then, Evan Ward came through for me.
The crowd boos at the mere mention of his name.
Joe Hoffman: Evan Ward, the new HOW Hall of Famer, who, at March To Glory, returned in shocking fashion.
Christopher America: He told me that this gift from him would be all I would ever need.
America walked over to the table of gifts to a rather large one. He eagerly ripped the paper off as he walked to the other side of the gift, allowing himself and the title to face the hard camera.
Benny Newell: It’s gotta be expensive if it’s that big!
Slowly, America dips the championship into the box and twists it around as if allowing the title to see inside. After a few moments, America pulls the championship out and smiles lovingly at her.
He then turns to the box and quickly scowls, kicking it over. Spilling out of the box and onto the mat is a golden certificate and the bloodied and beaten body of…
An audible gasp can be heard from the fans as everyone stares on in disbelief.
Joe Hoffman: Oh my God! That’s… that’s Conor Fuse! THAT’S CONOR FUSE!
Christopher America: Yes, I have to thank Evan Ward for this little gift. You see, at March To Glory, as Evan watched the main event, he saw what Fuse did.
He saw the look he gave her!
HE HAD LUST IN HIS EYES!
Joe Hoffman: He looked at the World title and this is what he gets?
Benny Newell: Never eye up another man’s girl. Never!
Christopher America: He saw the lust and he knew right then and there what he had to do. And so, thanks to Evan Ward, we present you… THIS!
Not so lovable when you’ve got bruises and blood all over, huh?
He can’t be a locker room leader from a hospital bed, can he?
This is all for you, my love!
America holds the title up to the crowd as the crowd boos in response.
Joe Hoffman: It’s for the Alliance’s collective egos. This man is sick!
Benny Newell: Love makes you do strange things, Joe. I remember I thought I was in love once. I was riding this girl bareback and I had just latched my hands on to both sides of her cheeks, when all of a sudden…
Joe Hoffman: NOT NOW!
America’s eyes go wide with derangement.
Christopher America: He knew… Evan Ward knew… that to ensure that the Alliance wins at War Games, we have to systematically take out NERDS like Conor Fuse.
You see, my precious title, in the coming weeks, there are going to be a bunch of lecherous people who are going to try to take you away from me. But I will do everything in my power to stop them.
Don’t worry your pretty little face plate.
Because while I may have the record, our journey together… has only just begun!
Coast to Coast
War Games to War Games
The GREATEST HOW World Champion in history!
“The Greatest American” plays as America kisses the championship. The camera cuts to shots of the crowd showing fans with hands over their mouths, looking on at the body of Conor Fuse while other flip America off and boo. Suddenly, red, white and blue streamers fall from the ceiling as the crowd are now feverishly booing harder than they have ever done before.
Medics rush out from the back with a gurney to check on Fuse.
Joe Hoffman: That… that man needs to be stopped! He should be stripped of the title for what he just did here today!
Benny Newell: Of course you’d want to stop true love.
Joe Hoffman: That’s not true love. That’s a man fawning over a damn championship belt! Excuse my language. It seems like with each passing Pay-Per-View, America gets worse and worse and the Alliance is only empowering him further.
Benny Newell: It’s great, isn’t it?
Joe Hoffman: NO! It’s not!
Exasperated, Hoffman sighs before trying to push through.
Joe Hoffman: Let’s just cut to commercial as we sort this all out and GET CONOR SOME HELP!
MARVOLO VS. DAN RYAN
Back live from commercial and the arena goes dark as the discordant intro of Chesney Hawke’s “The One and Only” screeches into the blackness, growing louder and louder until-
“I am the one and only
Nobody I’d rather be!”
A spotlight shines on the stage, illuminating Raquel, who receives a huge pop! Hey, wait…
“I am the one and only
You can’t take that away from me!”
Bryan McVay: This match is for ONE FALL AND IS FOR THE HOTV CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!!
The crowd cheers wildly.
Brian McVay: Introducing first… from Molvania… weighing ninety-seven pounds… Marvolo the 3rd!!
From behind the beautiful Latina steps Marvolo 3, eliciting a decidedly less enthusiastic reception. Ruffling his cape in response, #1 marches towards the ring with his index fingers held high.
Raquel climbs the ring stairs, then holds the ropes open for Marvolo. He steps inside and waits expectantly as she removes his cape for him.
Benny Newell: I think there’s a height requirement to be the HOTv Champion, Joe…..I mean for fucks sake the crumpled body of Fuse is taller than this guy.
Joe Hoffman: Too soon sir…….and no there is not, Benny.
Benny Newell: Well, here comes the champ. All six-foot-seven of him.
The camera pans over the Best Arena. There’s a buzz in the air as the High Octane faithful wait. Slowly, the lights in the arena start to dim, almost to black, but not quite.
Brian McVay: AND THE CHAMPION!!!!!
A lightning effect flashes in the arena, followed by a thundering sound, and music begins to play.
“Daddy’s Home” by JT Music.
Somewhere beyond the see
Something slumbers underneath
When she wakes up from her dreams
We’ll be reborn from the deep
Brian McVay: From Houston, Texas, USA. Weighing tonight at 305 lbs. He is a member of The Final Alliance. Here is THE HOTV CHAMPION AND THE HAMMER OF GOD, DANNNNNN RYANNNNN!!!
The strobe lightning effect continues, and as the opening lines of the first verse start to play, a large figure steps out onto the stage. His appearance is met with another thundering sound, this time the sound of boos from all over the building.
Joe Hoffman: The new High Octane Television Champion making his first defense here tonight against the up and comer, Marvolo.
Dan Ryan stands center stage, soaking it in. He’s been booed most of his career. This time, for a unique reason. But he soaks it all in, then starts to walk down the ramp.
Hold your noses cuz we’re going for another long dive
Some call me Father, others call me Johnny Topside
Long forgotten, I was swept up by the wrong tide
Thought my bed was made but I just woke up on the wrong side
Halfway down the ramp, someone throws something in his direction, but he sidesteps it, and glances over as EPU rush in to subdue the fan responsible. Ryan makes it to the ring, then stops and looks out into the crowd once again. He holds the HOTv Championship up high, soaking in the reaction with no expression.
I’m the heavyweight champ, you won’t even last a round
Too long you brutes abused the juice, now you get smacked around
Delta’s held the belt so many years here in Rapture now
Baddest motherfucker in the building, who’s your daddy now?
I’ll ask you nicely, would you kindly put your weapon down?
And cut the cameras cuz I’d rather not be ratted out
I’m on the path to power, I would’ve made Atlas proud
Hit you with the one two punch, zap and whack you out
Ryan cracks his neck, then climbs up onto the apron and climbs through the ropes. He dashes into the ropes, bounces off and sprints to a turnbuckle, step-climbing up and then roaring into the crowd and settling into a snarling stare out at the masses.
Ryan hops down, then circles the ring for a moment, letting the boos continue to rain down all over him. Ryan hands the belt over to the referee then finally backs into a corner and waits for the bell.
Dan Ryan towers over Marvolo as the two men stand face to…well, face to chest in the middle of the ring. Senior Referee Matt Boettcher calls for the bell.
DING! DING! DING!
Marvolo hoists a finger up in the air.
Benny Newell: Marvolo es numbehr wahn!
Joe Hoffman: I don’t know Benny, his arm is fully extended and that finger is barely reaching the height of the chin of the HOTv Champion.
Dan Ryan smirks as he stares down at the masked newcomer.
Joe Hoffman: What’s this?! What is Marvolo doing?!
Benny Newell: It’s a test of strength Hoffhole! I thought you were the play-by-play guy!
Marvolo transitions from holding up just one finger to attempting to goad Dan Ryan into a test of strength. Dan Ryan laughs at the offer and walks a circle around the under-hundred pounder. Marvolo doesn’t flinch and continues to hold his hand up as high as he can.
Benny Newell: Here we go! Dan Ryan is going to hurl this little puke right out of the ring.
Joe Hoffman: Pick a side, Benny.
Benny Newell: Eat a dick, Hofftits. You know where my loyalties lie, I just love a good catch phrase.
Dan grabs a hold of Marvolo’s hand and immediately forces him down to one knee. Marvolor roars out in agony as the HOTv Champion twists his hand, putting a tremendous amount of pressure on his wrist. But, before Dan can create anymore offense, Marvolo jumps back to his feet, runs toward the ropes, uses the top rope as a springboard and with incredible athleticism he leaps into the air, wraps his legs around Ryan’s neck, and executes a perfect hurricanrana that sends Ryan crashing to the mat.
Joe Hoffman: OH MY! Dan Ryan is down and has rolled to the outside of the ring!
Ryan looks dazed and confused, pacing the ring apron on the outside as Marvolo basks in the cheers from the fans.
Benny Newell: Jesus, Bitcher. Do you really think that Dan Ryan is going to be counted out here!
Joe Hoffman: He’s just doing his job, Benny.
Dan walks over to the ring steps and climbs back into the ring.
Joe Hoffman: Marvolo wants another test of strength Raquel is on the outside cheering him on!
Benny Newell: Well, he just signed his own death warrant! No way that works twice.
Dan marches to the center of the ring as Marvolo reaches his hand up high…well, sort of high…into the air again, but this time Dan doesn’t buy in and shoves Marvolo back into the ropes and flattens the much smaller wrestler into the mat with a big boot.
Benny Newell: Dan Ryan’s boot size is Marvolo’s height, that thing hit him everywhere!
Joe Hoffman: The crowd here in St. Louis is not happy with Dan Ryan!
Benny Newell: Fuckin’ NERDS!
Marvolo springs back to his feet and is once again clobbered back to the mat, but this time from a perfectly timed right hand from the HOTv Champion.
Benny Newell: This little runt needs to stay down!
Joe Hoffman: I don’t think that’s very likely, Benny, he’s already back on his feet!
Raquel slams her hands on the ring apron as she cheers on the pint sized luchador, who springs back to his feet and charges at Dan Ryan once again. Dan goes for a clothesline, but this time Marvolo is able to duck underneath, hits the ropes and takes the HOTv Champion’s legs right out from underneath him with a low dropkick that connects with Dan’s right knee.
Joe Hoffman: Smart move from Marvolo there to take the near three hundred pounder out at the knees!
Dan crashes face first into the mat and Marvolo is quick to run to the corner and climb up to the top rope. Perched atop the top rope, Marvolo waits for Dan Ryan to get to his feet. Dan slowly gets to his feet, but appears a bit wobbled.
Joe Hoffman: Cross body block from Marvolo!
Marvolo makes a cover and Matt Boettecher slides in to make the count.
Joe Hoffman: Dan Ryan kicks out with authority and launches Marvolo at least three feet into the air!
Dan sits right up and shakes the cobwebs out. Marvolo hits the ropes and plants a dropkick right into the back of Dan’s head, causing the champion to violently spring forward and then backward onto his back. Marvolo makes another cover and Boettcher is right there for the count.
Dan Ryan launches Marvolo into the air again, breaking the count. Marvolo jumps to his feet as Dan Ryan climbs to his. Marvolo hits the ropes and springs boards from the middle rope attempting a spring board spinning heel kick, but Dan Ryan snatches him out of the air.
Joe Hoffman: The champion showing off his strength!
Dan, using all 295lbs of his strength, flips Marvolo right into the powerbomb position but instead of putting the micro-wrestler flat on his back he runs and puts the shrouded small fry back first into the turnbuckle.
Joe Hoffman: OH! BUCKLE BOMB FROM THE CHAMP!
Marvolo stumbles out of the corner right into a kick in the midsection from Dan Ryan that doubles him over. The champ hoists Marvolo onto his shoulder and chucks the little man head first into the top turnbuckle.
Benny Newell: Oh, he threw him like a…like a…
Joe Hoffman: Like a javelin! And Marvolo is down!
Benny Newell: I was gonna say something different, but that works too!
Marvolo crumbles in the corner and Dan Ryan wastes no time as he pulls Marvolo back to his feet with a handful of mask. Dan throws a haymaker but Marvolo ducks underneath and behind the champ. The champ spins around but is immediately caught in a hold from Marvolo.
Joe Hoffman: Is that the Iron Claw? On Dan Ryan’s elbow!?
Raquel cheers as Marvolo’s biceps and forearm muscles bulge and show their vascularity. Marvolo clenches his teeth and squeezes with all of his might as he tries to disable Dan Ryan’s Hammer of God.
Benny Newell: The champ better be careful, Marvolo might rip his elbow clean off!
Raquel’s fervent cheers spur Marvolo on as he squeezes tighter and tighter, but just as victory seems within his grasp, a flicker of anxiety flickers across his face.
Joe Hoffman: Dan Ryan has Marvolo by the throat!
The champion breaks the hold and grabs Marvolo by the throat. Dan Ryan shakes his head in disgust as his eyes burn with rage and he lifts Marvolo up onto his shoulders and drives him into the mat with bone-shattering force!
Joe Hoffman: HEADLINER FROM THE CHAMPION! MARVOLO ISN’T MOVING!
Boetcher slides in for the count…
DING! DING! DING!
Benny Newell: Never a doubt in my mind!
Joe Hoffman: Dan Ryan retains! Let’s get the official word from Brian McVay!
Dan Ryan jumps to his feet and collects his championship from the referee before holding it high up in the air.
Brian McVay: YOUR WINNER IN 10 MINUTES AND 22 SECONDS, BY WAY OF PINFALL. ANNNNNNNNDDDDDDD SSSSSSSTTTTTIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLL THE HOTV CHAMPION, DDDDDAAAAANNNNNNN RRRRRRYYYYAANNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!
Just as the camera is about to cut away for the night, the lights in The Best Arena go out as we again see the word HASS flash across the HOV.
Joe Hoffman: Are we still on the air? Yes? Well I guess we aren’t done for the night yet. Again we are seeing that word HASS we saw during Bobbinette Carey’s match with Charles de Lacy earlier tonight… and after Carey’s match with Aceldama at March to Glory.
Benny Newell: The glorious and predictable beatdown of Bobbinette Carey by Aceldama. Das Monster Aceldama lässt sich nicht aufhalten!
Joe Hoffman: What did Google translate tell you that HASS meant Benny?
Benny Newell: That you’re a fucking twat Joe. You think I looked that shit up?
Joe Hoffman: Well many have… and they have been speculating that it has to do with…
Benny Newell: He’s dead Joe. He’s dead. HATE is dead. Someone was just fucking with Aceldama at March to Glory.
Joe Hoffman: So you did Google translate it.
Benny Newell: It’s the exact same at the HATE logo with that dead fuckers anarchy A in it… I didn’t need to translate that shit.
After a few moments of silence, we start to hear Shinedown’s “Dead Don’t Die” play through the speakers.
Black line for the 9th time
I’m on a first name basis with the afterlife
And there’s a feeling when you’re the demon
I dug myself out of the dead for a reason
And I’m never running, so try it again
Starting it over right back at the end
When’s the last time you were afraid?
I haven’t been afraid a day in my life
The dead don’t die, the heart still beats
Head held high, I haunt these streets
Life’s killed me a hundred thousand times
You can try, you can try, but the dead don’t die
Knock me down six feet deep
One more round, no reprieve
Life’s killed me a hundred thousand times
You can try, you can try, but the dead don’t die
There is a huge explosion of fire on the stage as the lights in the arena come back up as the song continues as smoke pours out and from the smoke we see one of HOW’s most iconic hairstyles ever. A set of red dreadlocks.
Joe Hoffman: He’s alive! He’s alive Benny! There he stands… There is Scottywood!
Benny double checks to make sure his Coke is free of Jack as the crowd is roaring while Scottywood raises his trademark barbed wire hockey stick in the air.
Joe Hoffman: We have not seen Scottywood… at least in person since Rumble at the Rock when Scott Stevens crucified him in the Chapel… before blowing it up. We all believe that killed Scottywood… but here he stands.
Benny Newell: That has to be a hologram Joe! He died, he’s dead, he can’t be back!
But what seems like the flesh and blood of Scottwood starts to walk down the ramp of The Best Arena. The look on his face is solemn, serious, focused as he walks down to an HOW ring for the first time in what feels like an eternity.
Joe Hoffman: He looks pretty real Benny… but damn he looks good Benny, he looks like some 10-15 years younger. Dare I say he looks like the Scottywood that joined HOW in 2008.
Benny Newell: You can say crazy shit Joe, doesn’t make it real. Just like you keep saying Scottywood is here. It’s not real!
Scotty reaches the ring steps and sees a microphone sitting on them, he stares at it for a moment before his solemn look is broken by a sick smile. He grabs the microphone and heads up the stairs and enters the ring. The Chicago crowd is roaring as the music fades out and The Hardcore Artist starts nodding his head to the Scotty chants from the crowd.
Scottywood: So Scott Stevens thought that he could kill me. You all thought that The Hardcore Artist would die? That I, Scottywood, was dead?
The crowd roars as Scotty starts to chuckle a bit to himself, before suddenly stopping and staring a cold dead look at the camera.
Scottywood: Well, I was. Scott Stevens did kill me. I did die. I was dead.
The crowd starts to quiet as they are a bit confused by the alleged admission by The Hardcore Artist.
Scottywood: I’m not gonna try and lie to all of you. I’m not gonna insult your intelligence by trying to say that I somehow survived that explosion at Alcatraz. I mean, I set all that shit up at Alcatraz and my full intent was to kill Scott Stevens myself with it. So I know how bad that shit was. I know what that was meant to do to a body. And fuck did it work well. I was dead… Scott Stevens sent me to Hell.
Benny Newell: Ok, how many beers did he have backstage before he came out. He’s obviously drunk outta his mind.
Scottywood: But the great thing about being me… about being The Anti-Christ of HOW… is that something as simple as having your body incinerated and being sent to Hell isn’t gonna hold me back from doing what I wanna do. It isn’t gonna prevent me from coming back to HOW and settling a few scores. Wie ein gewisser deutscher Scheißkerl… or a piece of absolute garbage who is soiling my LSD Title.
Benny Newell: They have Google translate in Hell?
Scottywood: But most importantly… being dead wasn’t gonna stop me from my favorite match of the year in HOW… WAR GAMES!
Scotty slams the microphone to the ground as he removes his black hoodie and reveals his New York Rangers jersey that of course has an 88 and the name Kane on the back. The Chicago fans quickly turn on The Hardcore Artist with a chorus of boos as he exits the ring and starts to make his way backstage as Shinedown’s “Dead Don’t Die” plays again.
Joe Hoffman: Well folks, a lot to process there… Scottywood is alive… again… and he has his sights set on a match that is pretty much me for his brand of anarchy.
Benny Newell: No, don’t you start believing his bullshit Joe!
Joe Hoffman: It’d explain why he looks fifteen years younger and has regrown his dreadlocks in less than six months.
Benny Newell: Detox did wonders for me Joe. I feel like a new man… and that has to be a wig.
Joe Hoffman: You just said he was drunk outta his mind… maybe… just maybe he is telling the truth?
Benny Newell: Don’t be a gullible fool Joe. There has to be an explanation for it all… there has to…
We see Scottywood standing at the top of the rampway as someone below tosses him an Anti-Hero IPA. He cracks open and takes a long drink from before raising his barbed wire hockey stick high in the air before the screen goes to black… and word HASS flashes across it as we fade to black to end the show.
But the darkness does not last long as the feed opens up backstage only a few minutes later where we hear a guttural scream as cameramen rush to the source…
As a cameraman turns the corner we see Jatt Starr SCREAMING into the bloody face of one Clay Byrd.
Byrd is being held up against the wall by the High Octane Television Champion Dan Ryan as Jatt continues to scream over the shoulder of Ryan at Byrd….a bent and bloody steel chair in his hand.
An attack clearly executed as Scottywood made his return known to end the live portion of the show…
Ryan nails Byrd with a right hand…..a right hand that is bloody as well.
The HAMMER of GOD continues to pummel Byrd until suddenly his attention turns to the men rushing down the hallway towards them.
Ryan smirks, nails Byrd with another right hand, and then allows the man to crumple to the concrete as Jatt and Dan turn to see Xander Azula, Brian Hollywood and Darin Zion rushing towards the two men.
The men never see it coming as STRonk, Evan Ward and HOW World Champion Christopher America all nail the men with various weapons.
STRonk can be seen handing a cane back to Michael Oliver Best who can be seen kneeling in the shadows petting DOG.
Ward and America drop the steel pipes they had in their hands and begin stomping away at the downed men as Ryan and Jatt begin walking towards them to join in the fun.
“WHAT THE FUCK!!!??”
All five men look up as Bobbinette Carey turns the corner and sees what is going on.
Clearly outnumbered, Carey does not care, as she looks left and then right and grabs a nearby mop and promptly breaks it in half.
He points the broken end of the mop at the men.
All five men start towards Carey but suddenly STRonk steps in front of the group and motions to them that he has this handled.
STRonk starts walking towards Carey when suddenly he is tackled to the ground.
Scott Stevens, COMING OUT OF NOWHERE, begins dropping right hands on the man that defeated him earlier in the night.
Carey quickly charges towards the downed STRonk but she is cut off by Evan Ward who spears his fellow Hall of Famer to the ground.
Jatt and Ryan break off from the group and rush to the aid of STRonk and one vicious knee to the temple later by Jatt Starr and Stevens is down.
Ryan helps STRonk up to his feet and all three men begin to pummel Stevens.
Only a few mere feet away from them we see America pull Carey up by her hair up to her knees.
Carey, now bleeding from her nose, flips off both men and unbelievably is smiling as Ward rushes at her and nails her with his Award Winning Knee.
Bobbinette falls backwards awkwardly and heads into an epic sleep as America and Ward give each other a high five…
Both men are laughing….but the laughing stops suddenly as Ward points at a figure at the end of the hallway.
Ryan, Jatt and STRonk all stop from the assault on Stevens and head back to join America and Ward.
All five men stand together as have a Mexican stand off with Marvolo.
Marvolo bravely takes a couple steps forwards…..determination in his eyes.
All five men begin walking towards Marvolo…….gaining more ground than Marvolo due to the scientific fact that their longer legs cover more distance than the 4’ Marvolo’s…
Marvolo takes another couple steps forward and then begins RUNNING towards the five men…..
American points at Marvolo and yells out as they rush…..
Marvolo puts his head down with determination and throws his arms out in front of himself……..
And after a hard turn to the right he dives into a closing elevator door and quickly jumps to his feet and begins pushing ALL the buttons.
The five members of the Alliance get to the elevator just as the door fully closes.
America slams his hand against the closed elevator out of frustration.
America: “Nerd got away…….”
Jatt Starr: Wait…..where is Solex??
All five men look at each other and then they all begin laughing uncontrollably as the scene cuts elsewhere……..
The feed opens up quickly in a bathroom somewhere.
The sounds of two men straining can be heard coming from the stalls of the bathroom and it is clear from their voices that it is none other than Lee Best and Steve Solex.
Lee strains as he lets out every word.
Solex: GRAB THE FUCKING HANDLE FOR LEVERAGE AND PUUUUUUSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH
The cameraman slowly gets into position and we see both stall doors are wide open.
In each one both the GOD of HOW and the Last Man in Wrestling can be seen standing over the toilets straining to all ends of the earth as they push towards the toilet.
Water is splashing out of both toilets as we see two men struggling to fight off Solex and Lee.
Zach Kostoff and Jace Parker Davidson.
Two steel pipes can be seen on the floor and although the water from the toilets have washed away most of the blood it is clear that both Kostoff and Jace were and are bleeding from the backs of their heads.
Lee submerges Kostoff’s head into the toilet and flushes the toilet by kicking the handle.
“DRINK IT UP………………….NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDDD!”
Solex grabs Jace by the head and slams his head down on the porcelain and it knocks the man out. With a great sense of relief Solex pushes the LSD’s head into the toilet and flushes.
Solex falls backwards towards the sinks and looks at the damage and begins laughing as Lee stumbles backwards and smiles.
Solex: Let’s get outta here Boss…..let’s see how the boys did.
Lee and Solex start to leave by Lee stops and motions to Solex to hold for one minute.
Lee Best: You know…the sound of all that running water……..really got my old ass having to piss…”
Solex watches as Lee walks back towards the stalls and turns into the one where Jace is currently laid out in….his head still half over the toilet.
Lee steadies himself and begins pissing and as his urine, mixed with 97red blood obviously, begins hitting Jace’s head he can only smile.
“Consider this a winning idea Jace……you fucking Nerd”
The feed is abruptly cut as the HOTv logo comes on the screen as the laughter from Solex can be heard.