Love-Ly News: Zion Issues a Unique Challenge

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Jul
18

During the main event of Chaos 003, fans witnessed Darin Zion turn his back on Joe Bergman after their loss for the HOW Tag Team Championships.  Keen eyed HOW enthusiasts witness former HOW Tag Team Champion and former protégé of John Sektor, MVW Men’s Heavyweight Champion Adam Ellis leap over the barricade.  Zion and Ellis exchanged a glare before Ellis threw Zion face first down to the mat.   It was apparent that Adam Ellis wanted a piece of Zion while countless MVW vets hopped the barricade to aid Bergman.  However, Zion pushed through the contingent of MVW wrestlers, shoving Van Lear down, barely escaping St. Louis in one piece.  HOWrestling.com caught up with Darin Zion in the parking lot last night.  He issued the following statement:

“I knew Joe Bergman wouldn’t watch MY BACK!  He doesn’t deserve the LOVE OF ZION.  I’m an amazing talent who deserve only the best tag team partners in the world.  Let those Tombstone rejects take the ordinary crew.  The EXTRAORDINARY Darin Zion only wrestles alone.  I don’t need friends.  I don’t need lovers.  REAL LOVE only needs himself dammit.”

After dodging the initial question, gloating about how awesome he is, HOW’s news team continued to press Zion on his thoughts about Adam Ellis.  Zion issued this response:

“Adam Elvis?  Who the fuck is that kid?  Does he do a mean Elvis impression?  Maybe I should get him a deep fried peanut butter and banana sandwich.  I’m sure the kid couldn’t swivel his hips like REAL LOVE Darin Zion does.  I mean did you see my mean moves at the entrance ramp?  STUNNING!  ABSOLUTELY STUNNING AND AMAZING.  I stand out above this Alvin Elvis kid.  It’s quite obvious really when you look at history.  He put his faith and trust into John Sektor.  You know the HOW Hall of Famer I PERSONALLY RETIRED!  Don’t let HOW revisionist history get in the way.  That bitch ass David Noble didn’t do it.  I RETIRED SEKTOR PERSONALLY with his shitty effort going into War Games.  I broke his shoulder down.  I ruined him by giving him a dose of TOUGH LOVE.

I mean who wouldn’t blame Alan Elvira for having that kind of anger.  I took his mentor away from him early and he’s put on a bitter beer face.  Good job ALEX!  Proud of you kid!  You finally found a pair of balls to love the ladies will love.  I’m sure Sektor would commend your shitty little temper tantrum last night.  But REAL LOVE isn’t impressed with your shitty behavior last night.  You see kid, I’m not like your old chum and I don’t have a soft spot for idiots like you.  Sooner or later, Elliot…you got to realize the world is cold and cruel.  No one’s gonna protect you from the truth about it.

I’ll give you some credit, kid.  It takes a tenacious soul for you to hop that barricade and get out of your MVW comfort zone.  But I’m not gonna lie to you like Sektor did.  See, Adam…you should have stayed back in MVW.  You should have toured the territory…fighting over the most prestigious prize and honing your craft.  You fell on your ass hard the last time you wrestled here.  You stuck your tail between your legs and ran like the little bitch you are.  You gave up your spot in the big leagues.  Your 15 seconds of fame dried up, leaving you in obscurity.  Yet you think you can use REAL LOVE’S name recognition to come back so fuckin’ quickly.

No, I don’t want to be your huckleberry, Alan Erris.  You don’t deserve MY LOVE and ATTENTION.   Or from anyone else that is!  You don’t get to lay your hands on REAL LOVE unless you put something on the line.”

HOWrestling.com correspondents noticed Zion’s beady eyes glowing and his grin twisting near his ears.

“You want the LOVE GURU’s attention, Elvis.  You gotta put something up.  Something GOLD AND SHINY.  You gotta give Zion the opportunity to christen his waist with the most valuable prize in professional wrestling.  You want to take a chunk out of REAL LOVE’S hide for putting the HOW roster on notice.  Well…here’s your chance.  You can step into the ring with Darin Zion at Dead or Alive…but only if you put the MVW Men’s Heavyweight Championship on the line.  Wanna make some history kid?  Wanna make that belt MEAN something.  DO IT.   Grow a pair.

But then you’d be stepping into the ring with the GREATEST MVW MEN’S HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION of all time.  Last time I held that belt…I brought it’s name value to the forefront of professional wrestling.  I brought it the LOVE it deserved.  I didn’t let its branding die.  I took it all over the world.  Hell, I’d do that right here by getting it all over HOTv, PWA TV….EVERYWHERE.  People would finally recognize the MVW branding because my face would be all over the marquees.  I’d make it better than #97Red.  And best yet, I made MVW BIG MONEY by drawing gates.  Something you haven’t done EVER.

So Adieus Elvin…whatcha say?  You wanna punch your ticket to fame?  Then answer my challenge next week, you little punk as bitch.  I’m giving you a one week deadline.  You accept my terms, or you can squander your bitch ass back into the void with all the other rejects from MVW.  Choice is yours!

No word from HOW Officials or MVW Officials what they think about Darin Zion’s challenge.  But one thing is for sure…it’s unique.  What will Adam Ellis have to say about this?  Tune into Chaos 004 to see what unfolds.

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