Chaos 009

The PWA and HOTv logo give way and we cut live inside a sold out Wells Fargo Center here in Philadelphia.  The crowd is all on their feet as it is time for Chaos 009 to kick off.

The crowd cheers loudly as  “Stronger on your Own” by Disturbed blares over the PA as its clear we are starting off the night with our first match of the evening.

Joe Hoffman: Welcome everyone to CHAOS!!! I am Joe Hoffman and we are coming to you live from a sold out Wells Fargo Center here in the great city of Philadelphia. We are starting off tonight hot as 15th ranked Brian Hollywood is making his way out as he will be taking on Xander Azula, who is ranked 12th on the High Octane Table, to kick off tonight’s action.

The cameras follow Hollywood as he slowly walks from the back and takes center stage as he stands there for a few brief moments, closing his eyes. He reigns in the boos from the crowd as he gets in final mental preparation for his upcoming match. As Hollywood opens up his eyes, pyro shoots off in opposite corners of the stage as it makes its way to center stage. As the pyro hits the center, the camera zooms in to see the reflection in Hollywood’s eyes as he finally makes his way down the ramp, quickly taking off his vest and throwing it down with intensity. Hollywood makes his final push as he charges the ring, rolling under the ropes. He gets back to his feet and looks about the entire arena glaring at the fans before he takes his place in the corner turnbuckle before turning his gaze intently in the ring as he waits for the bell.

Joe Hoffman: This is a match that Brian Hollywood needs to win tonight. He has some ups and downs recently but a win against someone right in front of him in the standings would do a world of a good for him.

The whistling intro of “Engel,” by Rammstein plays over the PA system, setting the crowd off in a chorus of boos as Xander Azula and his Eternal Circle disciples step out onto the stage, surveying the crowd with a gleeful grin. The crowd show their disdain for Xander and his crew, who simply laugh at the ignorance they see as they head toward the ring. Xander directs his disciples to circle around the ring, and they all hop onto the apron with wicked smiles on their faces.

Joe Hoffman: This is new. It looks like Xander is telling the Cult of Eris: The Eternal Circle that he doesn’t need their help tonight. Maybe he wants a fair match between him and his short-lived tag team partner. He is still riding that confidence I would assume as he almost pulled it out against the Monster known as Clay Byrd. The Philly Crowd is certainly giving Xander the business here tonight as they haven’t forgotten his disrespectful words a few days ago.

Hollywood and Xander walk up to the middle of the ring and stare each other down. Xander puts his hand out for a handshake. Hollywood looks him up and down and then grabs Azula’s hand. They both start squeezing hard and try to get an advantage. Xander goes for a headbutt, and Hollywood moves out of the way and then uses Xander’s momentum to arm drag him to the mat.

Joe Hoffman: Looks like Xander’s new aggression got the best of him there. We went from a respectful handshake to a dirty move, but Brian saw it coming and has Xander down as he wrenches his arm around his back. I shouldn’t be surprised since both men feel bitter towards one another for their own reasons only they can understand.

Hollywood uses the arm to bring Xander back to his feet and he whips in the ropes and hits a textbook dropkick to the chin of Azula as he runs back towards him. He keeps on him as he drops a leg drop to the throat of his on again off again partner. He gets up quickly as Azula tries to get his bearings back. Hollywood runs to the ropes and goes for a springboard moonsault.

Joe Hoffman: Azula just barely got his knees up in the time and Hollywood is rolling around in pain holding his chest. Brian was going real fast there but seems he overestimated the damage he had done to Xander.

Azula gets to his feet first and walks over to Hollywood. He hits him with a few kicks to his ribs and then lifts him to his feet and connects with an awkward looking reserve vertical suplex dropping Hollywood back on to his injured chest. Xander follows it up with an elbow to the back of Hollywood and then grabs his legs and locks on a Half Boston Crab and leans back putting the strain on the lower back of the veteran.

Joe Hoffman: We don’t normally see Xander use a submission move and by the looks of it I can understand why. It is not cinched in well, but it seems to be putting Hollywood in some pain which Xander can use later if he hopes to win this contest.

He lets go of the hold which allows Hollywood to roll quickly to the ropes to keep Xander from following up. Azula groans to himself realizing his mistake and moves with his purpose towards Hollywood. He gets within a few feet and Brian leaps up out of nowhere and grabs Xander’s head and hits a swinging neck breaker. He staggers back to his feet, but Azula is down holding his neck. Hollywood takes the chance and goes off the ropes and hits a leg drops to the neck of Xander.

Joe Hoffman: Both men are really going after each other here. Already it looks like Hollywood is favoring his chest and Xander seems to be having trouble with his neck as they both go for a big win here.

Hollywood picks Zander off the mat but before he can go any further Azula stomps on the foot off Hollywood. Brian jumps up in pain and Xander follows it up with some lefts and rights to the chest and ribs of his opponent. Brian bends over holding his ribs and The Cultist follows it up with a chop block and then a high knee dropping Hollywood to the mat. He goes for a flash pin after this, and Joel Hortega is ready.

Uno…

Not even close!

Joe Hoffman: Hollywood kicked out of that as if he was angry Xander was even going for a pin.

Xander grabs Brian by his long hair and starts puts his finger in Brian faces and starts berating him. Xander smiles and then goes off the ropes for a clothesline attempt but Hollywood ducks and Azula hits the opposite side ropes and moves backwards. Hollywood grabs his waste and connects with a German Suplex dropping Xander on his upper back and neck.

Joe Hoffman: Great counter by Hollywood there and he now has Xander right where he wants him. This is why you should always keep your head because Azula lost his advantage by trying to insult Brian instead of going in for the kill.

Hollywood is up fast and drags the out of it Xander to his feet and kicks up in the kidney and then gives him a few slaps to the face. Xander stumbles to the ropes where Brian grabs him by the head and springboards off the ropes and hits a nasty looking DDT. Again, Xander has had his neck harmed and Hollywood goes for the pin.

Uno…

Dos…

Xander pops his shoulder up and Hortega stops the count.

Joe Hoffman: That was a close one right there and Hollywood has built some momentum and the Eris follower has got to realize he is another fight and any steps he has made can come crashing down if you lose your focus.

Hollywood forcibly pulls up Xander and tosses him into the corner. He moves back and then runs at Azula but Xander sees it and goes low and hits a drop toe hold and Hollywood’s head hits the turnbuckle and he bounces back and lands on top of Azula. Hortega comes over to check on both men. Brian rolls off Xander and both grab either side of the ropes with the turnbuckle in between and they both slowly get to their feet.

Joe Hoffman: Both men look tired as this match has been at a frantic pace with a lot of big shots between the two of them.

They are both up and wobbly and at the same time nod at each other and then Hollywood hits a forearm which is followed by a forearm from Azula, they go back in forth a few times sweat flying off their heads from each shot. Xander fakes a shot and instead pokes Hollywood in the eye going back to what worked against Clay Byrd. Hollywood grabs his eye but with his good eye seeing Xander pucker his lips and then spit green mist towards Brian’s other eye.

Joe Hoffman: HE STOLE THAT FROM JOE BERGMAN! Too bad he didn’t steal his accuracy.

Hollywood ducks right in time and pops back up and hits a Jumping cutter.

Joe Hoffman: THE PAPER CUT! Hollywood just hit it out of nowhere!

Hollywood goes for the pin and Hortega with the pin.

Uno…

Dos…

Tres!

Bryan McVay: HERE IS YOUR WINNER IN TEN MINUTES, BRIAN HOLLYWOOD!

Joe Hoffman: Big win by Brian Hollywood tonight over his former short-term partner. Xander will need to have a talk with Eris after this, but he has shown himself to be the type of guy to rebound well. Regardless, Hollywood used his head and prevailed tonight.

Cameras zoom in on Hollywood who almost looks relieved with the win, before we cut elsewhere.

The show cut to the backstage area. There, Cancer Jiles with his 97red tracksuit and precious T-Shades await. Bobby Dean is also there, and is dressed for his battle later tonight against GREAT SCOTT for the prized HOTv Championship.

Jiles: Hello High Octane! Hello Philadelphia! It’s me! Your favorite son! Your soon to be six time High Octane Tag Team Champion!

Small pop.

Jiles: Me and my pals just wanted to take a moment to shit on the Highwaymen before our best of five series concludes on the road.

A friendly thumbs up.

Jiles: Just think, the next time you see the Bandits on Chaos we’ll have the HOTv Tag Team Titles around our waist.

The Maestro holds his index finger up to correct himself.

Jiles: Well, two of our waists. One shoulder. Then again, if Bobby wins tonight he might be able to connect all three of the HOTv Championships together, and then they might fit. Probably be snug but I like his chances at unifying.

The COOL playfully pats Bob on the tummy. The Honaleean bashfully laughs. Then, Dooze, seemingly rabid, as in frothing at the mouth, appears from out of nowhere.

Dooze: HIGHWAYMEN! WE’RE GOING TO MAKE BOYS OUT OF YOU!

Bobby shys away.

Dooze realizes he might have been a little too GREAT Stronko.

Jiles: Easy there, Doozy! They know. The whole world knows. They saw the last two matches. Not even a change of scenery can fill those potholes. Ha. The Potholeboys.

All three laugh.

Boisterously.

Manically.

Jiles: So don’t forget! September 25th! Heartland! MVW! The eGG Bandits. The PHB’s. HOTv Tag Team Championships will be on the line– mainly because they haven’t won a GAWD DAMN match yet.

More conceited gassing.

Jiles: See ya there!

The feed jumps to High Octane’s other Bob.

We cut to the halls of the arena. Highwaymen member Steve Solex is walking down the hall looking to be in deep thought. These thoughts are ruined, however, when the Queen of Epicness, Bobbinette Carey steps in front of him. Solex pauses, unsure her motive.

Bobbinette: Steven! Just the person I was looking for.

He looks at her and shakes his head.

Solex: …What?

Bobbinette: I come in peace. Just hear me out.

She says putting her hands up.

Bobbinette: I have a lie detector machine… which I’m not going to ask you to do.

She says, quickly, attempting to assure him as Solex seems confused.

Solex: Then what exactly do you want?

Bobbinette: I figured you, being an old military guy, would know how to get out of telling the truth on one of those things anyway.

Bobbinette opens the door they are standing near, showing the lie detector test and Conor Fuse. Fuse waves at Solex like he’s Forrest Gump. Solex returns a middle finger. Bobbinette looks at Conor with a half nod.

Bobbinette: I already explained we’re not going to use the lie detector machine on him.

It’s like all the energy is taken out of the gamer. He lowers his head.

Conor: Fine, whatever.

Solex scoffs and stares at Bobbinette.

Solex: You still haven’t said what you want, Carey.

He says as his patience sounds thin.

Bobbinette: But you’re one of the good guys, right? So then you would be able to help someone who’s in need, right? Isn’t that one of the codes that people take when they join the military?

Bobbinette squints. Fuse nods along like she’s got him.

Solex: Codes? Like the Contra code? You two are all fucked up. It’s an Oath and I don’t think it says anything about helping some half-wit and her pasty little sidekick. But I’m intrigued, so continue…

Bobbinette looks shocked but shakes her head dismissing his statement. Conor points to himself, as if trying to understand Solex’s words. Is he the pasty little sidekick? He’s a two-time World Champion…

Bobbinette: So… I figured because of your background, you have to be honest about stuff. If any of The Highwaymen were trying to kill me, you can’t lie to us.

Solex looks completely baffled at the logic.

Solex: [Sarcastically] Yeah, you’re right. ‘Cause government operatives never lie. [Scoffs]

Conor: She may be thinking of the boy scouts…

Bobbinette shrugs her shoulders with a slight nod to Conor’s statement.

Bobbinette: I know this is a lot to ask. I know it wasn’t The Highwaymen anyway, it was Scott Stevens.

Fuse holds up a finger.

Conor: Ummmm we aren’t 100% sure on that…

Bobbinette: But where you come in is I need you to teach me how to waterboard someone.

He looks offended at this statement and attempts to walk away.

Bobbinette: Hey I’m not asking you to do it. I’m just asking how.

Fuse giggles at Solex trying to leave the conversation, almost as if he’s disappointed and expected nothing less.

Conor: [To Bobbinette] Don’t worry, Bob. I’ve been studying how to do it myself…

Solex snaps back around.

Solex: Why would you think I know this?

Bobbinette: I just figured it was standard training.

Solex looks annoyed.

Solex: Standard training? Y’all have been watching way too much TV and playing way too many video games.

Fuse rolls his eyes.

Bobbinette: Okay, I was a girl scout, so I had some training… that counts, right? What if I promise not to use it on any of your Highwaymen dudes if you teach me.

Conor: [To himself] They say I’m bad at negotiating…

Bobbinette: I think that’s fair.

Solex: You can’t be serious.

Bobbinette: Look I am tired…… I- I’m tired and once Stevens admits it’s him, I can get a full night’s sleep. I’m running on caffeine and that’s it at this point. I get him to admit it with him and then this nightmare is behind me.

Her eyes looked desperate as her voice sounded like it’s pleading. The cracks of the broken woman are starting to show through with her request.

Solex: Look, I’m no Scott Stevens fan… not even a little bit. We go way back, and that turd has been stuck to the bottom of my boot for like 15 fuckin years, but I don’t think water boarding is going to do anything but piss off some housewives in Jersey. They can’t even deal with the fact that the US Government water boards terrorists in Guantanamo Bay. You think they’re going to just let you torture that dude on television. You might want to think of a different method. Every man has his breaking point and it doesn’t always require torture, sometimes simple little mind games will do the trick.

Conor leans beside the lie detector test, becoming disinterested.

Bobbinette: So what you’re saying is you can show me other tactics to get answers. Also to do it off screen. I’m picking up what you’re putting down. Thanks Solex!

She says patting him on the back. She appears relieved and only half listening to what he actually said to her..

Bobbinette: I got to get ready for my match, we will talk next week.

Conor: I don’t think that’s what he meant.

Conor says to Bobbinette but she has already started walking away out of the lie detector test room. Solex stands there baffled by the interaction between team BFF and him. As he watched them leave, he turned and left in the opposite direction as we cut to our first commercial break.

Back live and we cut ringside where it is time for our next match.

Bryan McVay: This match is for one fall! Introducing first… weighing two-hundred-fifty-six pounds… SCOTT STEVENS!

“O Fortuna (Excalibur Remix)” by Apotheosis plays as Scott Stevens emerges from behind the curtain. Carrying the Book of Best, Stevens slowly makes his way to ringside.

Bryan McVay: And his opponent… weighing two-hundred-thirty-five pounds… BOBBINETTE CAREY!

“Enemy” by Anna takes over the airwaves as The Queen of Epicness marches onto the stage. While looking confident, she also seems concerned, believing the man inside the ring is the one who had recently tried to kill her. Carey makes her way down to cheers as the crowd readies for the contest. Once both wrestlers are in the ring, referee Matt Boettcher calls for the bell.

DING DING

At first, Bobbinette is apprehensive when approaching the much taller Texan. Considering she is under the belief Scott has tried to kill her, she moves cautiously around the ring and does not take her eyes off Stevens. The former World Champion lunges forward but Bobbinette takes a step back. Stevens moves forward again, but Carey moves back again. This time, however, Stevens swings his right arm out, catching Carey in the side of the head with a blow. Stevens hurls The Epicness into the ropes and on return he knocks her to the canvas with a shoulder block. Stevens hits the ropes and drops a leg.

ONE.

KICKOUT.

Stevens nods. He knows a lot more work has to be done, the pin was only a follow through on the leg drop. Scott lifts Bobbinette to her feet and starts rifling right jabs into her chest. He bounces off the ropes and looks for a hard clothesline…

This time Bobbinette ducks it. Stevens hits the far ropes and Carey comes bursting through with a shoulder block to the chest. Stevens doubles over. At first, Bobbinette looks a little overwhelmed but knees Stevens in the side of the head. Once. Twice. Thrice. He’s worked into a corner. Bobbie hurls the Texan into the corner across the way. Stevens hits the buckle…

But bounces out and connects with that clothesline from hell!

Bobbinette is flipped inside-out and hits the canvas hard. Stevens stomps away.

Joe Hoffman: Stevens came to fight tonight, likely using Carey’s disposition and tentativeness against her.

Stevens lifts Carey into a suplex position but she kicks and wiggles her way out of it. Stevens attempts another clothesline but Carey ducks, spins Scott around and nails a DDT. Both wrestlers get to their feet. Stevens tries for another right forearm blow but Carey ducks it, latches onto Stevens chest and hits a belly-to-belly suplex. The crowd cheers as Bobbie holds on…

And turns the next suplex into a German release!

Joe Hoffman: Stevens landed on his head!

The Scorpion looks like he’s out cold but Bobbinette Carey is still on a bit of an edge when approaching The Demi-God. She flips Stevens on his back… and Stevens grabs Carey for an inside cradle!

ONE.

TWO.

KICKOUT!

Joe Hoffman: So two things here. Scott isn’t coming across like he recently tried to kill Bobbinette Carey. An inside cradle is a way to win a match, not inflict further damage. Then again that’s what Stevens might want Bobbinette to think…

Both wrestlers are up. Carey goes for a running knee but Stevens moves out of the way and lands a kick to the gut followed by a swinging neck breaker.

Joe Hoffman: The other thing I was going to mention is, clearly, Bobbinette’s apprehensiveness is costing her some offense here. She had Stevens on the German suplex but took too long afterwards.

Stevens drags Carey to her feet and hits an exploder suplex, sending The Queen of Epicness halfway across the ring. She shows her resiliency, however. She’s back on her feet in a flash… a second wind… and flies across the canvas with a shoulder block that catches Stevens under the jaw. With the Texan stunned, Carey hits the ropes and performs a flying crossbody block-

Stevens catches her.

Powerslam!

Scott pulls to his feet. He gives his head a shake and then proceeds to apply the boots to Carey until she’s into the ropes. The ref asks for the break. At first, Stevens doesn’t give it to Boettcher but he steps away midway through the mandatory five count. Bobbie fights to a standing position, using the ropes as leverage. She sees where Stevens is. Scott has taken a moment to peer into the crowd. Carey charges at him…

And right into a superman punch.

Joe Hoffman: She’s out!

Stevens hooks a leg.

ONE.

TWO.

SHOULDER UP!

The crowd cheers as Stevens stares at the referee, thinking it was a three. He only takes a moment before he drags The Queen to her feet and looks for a spinebuster slam in the middle of the ring. Then he slides into position to apply a crossface on Bobbinette!

Joe Hoffman: Dead center of the ring!

Carey moves her free arm around, she’s trying to gain some traction on the canvas, hoping to move closer to the ropes. She slides her feet forward- she’s able to move a tiny bit but Stevens leans back. He has the hold on tight.

Bobbinette’s right hand waves around in the air. The fans think she may tap at any moment. At times, her arm is much closer to the mat…

Carey slams her hand down on the canvas but it’s clear she didn’t give up. She’s trying to push out of the hold.

Joe Hoffman: Bobbie’s doing it! She’s breaking free!

And she does! Carey slides into the ropes just for good measure. It was a long way over to them but she’s free from the submission hold. Stevens fumes, realizing The Queen of Epicness broke out of the hold without a rope break. Carey simply powered her way out. And he’s not having that.

Stevens bounces off the ropes as Carey gets to her feet. This time, however, it’s Scott who’s thrown himself off an otherwise good gameplan. Bobbinette sees him coming, she drops down and pulls the top rope with her. Stevens falls out of the ring.

Carey immediately sling shots herself up and over the top rope, crashing down onto a rising Scott Stevens with a splash! The crowd cheers and Bobbinette is fired up as she lifts Stevens, rolling him back into the ring. Bobbie gets onto the apron and enters through the top and middle rope.

Stevens stands. He has a second wind himself. He punts Bobbie in the side of the head and connects with a diving DDT! He drags Carey to her feet and looks for the Toxic Sting…

No! Carey escapes. She bounces into the ropes and knees Stevens in the side of the head. Still apprehensive, she lifts Stevens into a suplex. She pulls him upright and tries for another but Stevens slides back. He breaks free, kicks Carey in the chest and tries for a second Toxic Sting attempt…

Once again, Bobbinette stumbles away. She goes into the ropes on momentum, charges forward and aims for a spear.

Stevens moves out of the way! Bobbie crashes into the corner, shoulder first. Stevens quickly moves towards Carey, he peels her away from the turnbuckle pad and hits a reverse DDT. Then he drags Carey upright and once again… a kick to the gut and a Toxic Sting attempt…

Carey throws Stevens down to the canvas! She boots Stevens in the side of the head, knees him in the chest and tries for a chokehold.

Stevens breaks free! Scott spins around, knees Carey in the stomach and levels her with a forearm smash. He drives numerous boots into Bobbinette’s shoulder and neck as she’s down on the mat. Stevens calls for the end, he drags Carey upright and gives her the finger.

Yet again, Bobbinette slips away from the Toxic Sting, following elbows into Scott Stevens’ jaw. She’s worked him into the ropes, she Irish whips Stevens to the ropes on the far end. Bobbie readies for a powerslam but Scott hooks both arms underneath the top rope which halts his momentum. Carey is forced to work her way over to Stevens…

Toxic Sting!

Joe Hoffman: Stevens hit that out of thin air!

The air is also knocked out of the arena as Stevens makes sure Carey’s arms and legs are nowhere near the ropes. He kneels down and hooks Bobbinette’s right leg.

ONE.

TWO.

THREE!

DING DING DING

Joe Hoffman: Wow!

Bryan McVay: The winner of this match in eight minutes and twelve seconds… SCOTT STEVENS!

Stevens rises and demands for his hand to be raised. Meanwhile, Bobbinette Carey rolls onto her chest.

Joe Hoffman: A solid victory for Scott Stevens. Perhaps Bobbinette was too preoccupied with everything else going on.

Stevens’ theme song plays as he slides out of the ring and celebrates walking up the rampway. In the middle of the ring, Carey takes a knee and gives her head a shake.

Suddenly, Stevens’ theme comes to a close when none other than STRONK GODSON power walks past him down the rampway. He slides into the ring.

Stronk stands over Bobbinette, he reaches his hand out as she looks up, about to take it when-

The crowd cheers! Conor Fuse sprints from the back, no longer looking like his joyous self. He sees STRONK in the middle of the ring and he’s ready to seek revenge on last week.

Joe Hoffman: This is not good!

Fuse slides into the ring. He stares at STRONK, he looks down at Carey. Godson cracks his neck and readies for a fight while Conor starts mouthing off to the powerlifter. Bobbinette shakes off the cobwebs after the match.

Conor Fuse: You SOB, what’s your problem with me, huh!? Why the hell would you attack ME?

He points to Godson, then to Carey, then to himself.

Conor Fuse: We SHOULD BE on the same team you dipshit!

Carey gets to her feet and pushes Conor back a bit before turning to STRONK who is finally alone in the ring with her. Without Abdullah Choi or Jace to stop her, Carey lays her hand gently on STRONK’s massive chest and begins to speak to him.

Bobbinette Carey: Stronk. We didn’t hurt Mongo. I’m sorry for your loss.

Her face looks sad. She looks at him with genuine compassion.

Bobbinette Carey: And Conor is just my friend. I’ve wanted to do this for weeks. But some people keep getting in the way. Stronk I-

Conor steps forward, cutting Carey off which only angers Godson. STRONK stares down Fuse as Bobbinette stands in-between the two men, trying to play peacekeeper but suddenly the crowd boos loudly as the HOW LSD Champion Jace Parker Davidson makes his way out on stage.

Joe Hoffman: I have a bad feeling this isn’t going to get any better than it already is.

Jace stands there, then turns towards the entrance way and begins waving his arm and shouting. One by one members of the EPU make their way out on stage and begin rushing down towards the ring. The members of the EPU surround STRONK and begin to separate both Conor and Carey from the STRONKEST member of The Board. STRONK tries to push through the EPU members as Conor and Carey continue to yell towards Godson and plead their case. Eventually, the number of EPU members that flood the ring is too much. STRONK obliges their request and exits the squared circle. STRONK is escorted away from the ring but never takes his eyes off of Carey or Conor as we cut away from ringside.

We cut outside the arena.

You know what this looks like.

Concrete. Trucks. Production.

Et, Cetera.

Frank Dylan James looms over a similar setup to the one from two weeks ago in Miami. An old Bronco is backed haphazardly into an unmarked spot and a hastily erected lean-to houses a series of equipment similar to Frank’s Gran’pappy’s forfeited still. Something is amiss, as the frustration radiates off of the Appalachian Outlaw in waves.

“Gyatdamn gub’ment,” Frank mumbles to nobody in particular. “Stickin’ they gyatdamn nose the workin’ man’s bidness…”

Frank makes a few adjustments to the rig, none of which seem to garner much effect on the overall process and none of which seems to satisfy the barefoot brawler. He’s just about to tear the whole thing down and start over when Blaire Moise makes her way into the situation once again, as is her way.

Blaire Moise: I’m here again with HOW newcomer Frank Dylan James-

Frank cuts eyes at the diminutive broadcast journalist.

FDJ: Hrmph. You again. Whaddayawant?

He is less than enthusiastic about the interruption.

Blaire Moise: A few words before your match tonight with Darin Zion?

Blaire jabs a microphone at Frank.

FDJ: What about it?

Blaire Moise: Any last words for Zion?

Frank bristles.

FDJ: I done said ever’thang what needed sayin’ about Darin Zion. That boy’s due for somethin’ big, be it a win or an ass-whippin’ we gon’ find out tonight. That’s all you need to worry yer little head about that, Miss Lady.

Intrepid as always, Blaire pushes further.

Blaire Moise: And what about Clay Byrd?

This catches the ire of the Smoky Mountain Mastadon.

FDJ: I thought you said he wadn’t gonna stand for what happened a few weeks ago when I put him on his big ass right in front of God an’ ever’body?

Blaire Moise: Well-

FDJ: Well, what? You want my opinion that big sum’bitch got a yellow streak a mile wide runnin’ down his back!

Blaire Moise: So you’re saying that he’s ducking you?

FDJ: I’m sayin’ that Clay Byrd’s a YELLA-BELLIED EGG-SUCKIN’ DAWG! A coward! He’s a GYATdamn CHICKENSHIT sum’BITCH what ain’t got no guts, ain’t got no brains, an’ ain’t gon’ do a GYATdamn thing about a GYATdamn thing! YOU UNNARSTANNIT?

By this point, Frank has gotten himself all riled up.

FDJ: Far as I’m concerned I done already clipped his balls. He ain’t gonna do shit about sheeeeeeeeeeeyit, an’ that’s just fine with ol’ Frank! But I’ll tell you what, one day sooner than later that boy’s gon’ find hisself standin’ across the rasslin’ ring from yers truly and if he can make it past the openin’ bell without dribblin’ a little puddle of piss down his leg I’mma put a worse ass-whippin’ on him than I am on Darin Zion right here tonight!

Frank throws his hands wide, inviting Byrd, Zion, or anybody else to have something to say.

FDJ: An’ if anybody has anything to say about that, I ain’t never that hard to find! HUSS!

With that, Frank goes back to his tinkering and Blaire turns toward the camera.

Blaire Moise: You heard it here first, now we will be right back as it is time for another commercial break!

Back live and the camera cuts backstage where we see Christopher America sitting behind a desk. The beautiful #97Red leather strap of the HOW World Championship is unmistakable as the title sits propped up in front of him. Behind him, an obscene amount of American flags provide a gaudy backdrop. America himself sits in one of his gaudy American suits, a large bruise on the side of his face.

Christopher America: For many of my fellow American, my true Americans, last week was a day of reflection. The horrible attack of September 11^th will forever be burned in their minds as one of the grossest, most despicable, most Un-American acts of cowardice they ever laid their eyes on.

America pauses momentarily, a hint of sadness in his eyes.

Christopher America: I know for many of you, September 11^th sticks out. Those of you who are old enough and have at least have half of a brain will undoubtedly remember where they were on that fateful day. You’ll remember what you were doing. Many of you, I’m sure, were huddled together with your loved ones, hugging them and telling them that you love them because maybe you don’t say it enough. Others perhaps were thanking God that they weren’t in the city when the attack happened. It was that gruesome. It was that heinous. And for those who we lost on that fateful day, they’ll thankfully never have to relive the terror of that attack.

On September 11^th, we remember with solemnity the attack that Steve Harrison perpetrated on me!

As the living embodiment of America, I can honestly say that what happened to me last week will go down as one of the most horrific attacks in the history of America.

Seeing a large mass of metal crash into my towering frame and bringing it down is something that women and children will have etched into their memories for years to come.

Well, I’m here to tell you that the terrorist known as Steve Harrison will not be victorious. America, as I always do, will come back stronger and more resilient. And so, I ask you all to send me your well wishes, your cards, your gifts of money and expensive jewelry. All to help me recover quicker.

Now…

Unfortunately, I do not have the full might of the FBI at my disposal. They are currently preoccupied with staking out Hardee’s restaurants. And so, like a true American that can’t get law enforcement to do what they want, I started my own militia, and by started my own militia, what I really mean is that I employed the help of the EPU.

So…

Christopher America holds up a picture of Steve Harrison, poorly photoshopped to make it look like he’s a deranged wild animal.

Christopher America: If you see this man, please notify your local EPU agent. They will be wandering the halls and posted at various entrances to ensure that…

TSCHHH…

Voice: Contact made. Sector 7.

TSCHHH…

America’s eyes go wide. He drops the picture and fumbles with an item on his hip. He finally grabs a hold of it and lifts it to his face.

Christopher America: Sector 7. This is Uncle Sam Rolling Up His Sleeves To Punch A Commie. Come in!

TSCHHH…

Voice: Who is this?

TSCHHH…

Christopher America: THIS IS CODENAME UNCLE SAM ROLLING UP HIS…UGH… IT’S AMERICA! CHRISTOPHER AMERICA! WHAT’S THE SITUATION?

TSCHHH…

Voice: We have him, sir! Trying to enter the backstage area!

TSCHHH…

Christopher America: Hold him until I get there!

America leaps up, grabs the World Championship and begins running off. The camera cuts to a different, motion heavy, jostling shot as the cameraman takes off after America. America weaves in and out of hallways and corridors. Up ahead, the camera catches several men in flak jackets, helmets, and batons surrounding Steve Harrison.

Harrison and the EPU agents are all shouting as America slows down. The cameraman rushes ahead, turns and captures the wicked smile on America’s face, who is now walking at a casual pace.

Christopher America: Whoa… whoa… whoa… what seems to be the problem here.

Harrison looks up at America scowling.

Christopher America: Hi Steve. As you know, last week’s attack on me is pretty much the equivalent of domestic terrorism. As a result, the Board felt that to ensure the safety and security of innocents, such as myself, you are barred from this arena.

You are not welcome here.

Steve Harrison: Oh, what a surprise OUR hard fighting American Hero of a Champion is hiding behind security.  How is your neck you disgraceful coward?

Christopher America: A disgrace? Me? Heh. I don’t fake injuries so that I can attack my opponents. You do. I don’t ruin people’s championship celebrations. You do. You’re the bad guy. I’m the good guy. This is my story. I’m the hero. Not you. And now I get to have the bad guys dragged away so that we can have a peaceful show for once. Without interference from you.

And if you wish to test how serious I am? Then by all means, do so. If you step foot in this arena again, I will have the local PD drag you kicking and screaming to jail.

Steve Harrison: Heh, come on, champ, this is Philadelphia you know 9-1-1’s a joke in this town.

Christopher America: Oh I’ll be sure to let them know you feel that way. I know one thing cops love is hearing what the uncivilized criminals like yourself think of their job performance. I’m sure it won’t affect how they handle you.

Now, EPU agents, be some good American militia men and get this trash out of the arena.

Harrison wastes no time. He immediately decks an EPU agent and begins gaining the upper hand. He swings wildly, catching agents on their helmets and  in their guts. 

As agents fall to the floor, Harrison has difficulty maintaining his footing.

Some of the agents on the floor now hold his legs as more EPU agents begin to rush to the scene. Harrison is swarmed as the sounds of kicks and batons hitting his flesh ring out. 

Soon, several of the EPU agents get up and grab Harrison who is bleeding from the mouth. They drag him out of the door and toss him outside the arena.

America turns away smirking, clearly pleased with himself. 

Christopher America: Never mess with the Board.

America strikes the HOW World Championship as we cut to ringside.

We cut back to ringside….

Joe Hoffman: America once again one step ahead of Harrison and there is no doubt that our World Champion has the edge leading into their match at Rumble at the Rock……but before we get there…..up we have Frank Dylan James, fresh off a tough loss to Great Scott last week, trying to right the ship by taking on Real Love Darin Zion. Zion is up against some mighty big odds, giving up about nine inches and a hundred pounds to Big Frank.

Cut to Bryan McVay in the ring.

Bryan McVay: The following match is scheduled for ONE FALL!

The opening chords of REO Speedwagon’s “Keep On Loving You” hit over the PA system, and not “Real Love” by Mary J. Blige, which would have made more sense. But what do I know? I’m just the narrator.

On the HOV, a giant heart appears to beat to the song.

♫ You should have seen by the look in my eyes, baby

There was somethin’ missin’ ♫

Emerging from the locker room is REAL LOVE Darin Zion, decked out in a pink and purple robe. The words REAL LOVE are printed on the back in sequins. The sequins sparkle in the pink spotlight hitting the smug HOW superstar while he strolls down to the ring. Unphased by the fans heckling him, he swivels his hips, trying to draw the attention of the women. A cocky sneer is painted on his face as he gets down to the end of the entrance ramp.

Joe Hoffman: Zion is cocky as ever, which is something I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to.

♫ And I’m gonna keep on lovin’ you

‘Cause it’s the only thing I want to do

I don’t want to sleep, I just want to keep on lovin’ you♫

Bryan McVay: Introducing first…..FROM SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA. REAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL LOOOOOOOOOVE DAAAAAAAAARIN ZIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOON!!!!

Zion throws his robe on the ground, displaying his 8-pack abs. REAL LOVE starts counting them, blowing a kiss to the camera. Sliding into the ring, he poses like a French model, winking to the audience at home. While the bridge finishes, Zion leaps up to his feet. He motions back towards the entrance ramp, calling for Frank Dylan James to come on down to the ring.

Joe Hoffman: Zion is ready to go. He’s calling down Frank, but from what I understand, Frank doesn’t come out like your average everyday entrance. He prefers to…

Just then, the music stops, then changes to “Stranglehold” by Ted Nugent. A few moments pass and Darin Zion keeps gesturing up at the stage. But then, a commotion starts on one side of the arena as the huge Frank Dylan James comes through the crowd.

Joe Hoffman: Right on cue. Here comes Frank Dylan James!

Fans part like the red sea as the Appalachian Apocalypse heads through and over people in a beeline to the ring barricade as Zion looks down at him with a mixture of concern and terror, but mostly false bravado. It looks like he has a piss stain on the front of his trunks, but never mind that, he spilled some water on himself backstage, that’s all, thank you very much. Frank yells at fans indiscriminately, old people and children alike, swinging his chain with no regard for who might be in the way.

Joe Hoffman: Get those people out of the way! My God, he’s gonna take out our key demographic!

This goes on for some time as he variously lunges at those who get too close, and kicks away chairs and drinks. Frank climbs over the ring barricade, sets the chain on the apron near a corner and slides into the ring.

Joe Hoffman: Frank into the ring…

Right away he charges Darin Zion and starts throwing his big meat hook right hand into Zion’s face. Zion puts his hands up, which softens the blow a little, but the flurry backs him up and he stumbles into a corner, setting up for two more big right hands from the big man that drops Zion to a seated position.

Joe Hoffman: Right out of the gate, Frank Dylan James just pounds Darin Zion down into the corner. I don’t think Zion was ready for it, even though it’s the only way I’ve ever seen Frank Dylan James act. And yes, I know how he acts. I watch indy wrestling thank you very much….

Frank grabs two handfuls of hair and pulls Zion up. Zion screams out in pain as Frank lifts him and plops him down on top of the turnbuckle, then fires a hard uppercut to his jaw. Zion slumps forward and drops to his feet only to eat a clothesline from the charging FDJ.

Joe Hoffman: But you won’t be getting the flippy-doos from Frank. As far as I know, all he knows how to do is punch, kick, and choke, and then maybe just throws his body at things sometimes. I’ve heard that Abraham Lincoln had the same set of wrestling moves.

Frank steps back and watches as Zion crumbles to the mat.

Joe Hoffman: It’ll take four score and seven years for Darin Zion to get up from that…

Frank looks out into the crowd and frowns as Zion rolls over and falls through the ropes to the floor. Frank sees this and climbs through, dropping down next to Zion’s head. Frank picks him up and props him up against the barricade, then fires in rights and lefts to the face of his smaller opponent.

Joe Hoffman: James just pummeling away at Zion’s midsection… going for a big boot now…

After three or four strikes, he takes two steps back, then charges in raising his boot, but Zion ducks it, and Frank crotches himself over the guardrail.

Joe Hoffman: And he misses! Zion got out of the way just in time and Frank crotched himself right on the top of the guardrail!

Crawling away for dear life, Zion is able to climb back up on the apron and slide under the bottom rope to a seat just inside the ring. He watches as FDJ extricates himself from the barricade, a pained expression on his face after an unfortunate shot to the balls.

Joe Hoffman: Zion is getting a chance to catch his breath while the big Appalachian tries to recover from that shot to the family jewels. And by jewels, I mean jelly beans infused with sweet sweet moonshine.

Frank gets himself upright and turns to the ring where Zion has managed to get to his feet. Before Frank can do anything to avoid it, he’s hit right in the sternum with a baseball slide from Darin Zion under the bottom rope.

Joe Hoffman: Baseball slide, and Frank is shaken up, stumbling away from the ring…

Zion senses an opening and slaps himself softly in the face to shake the cobwebs loose. Pulling back on the top rope, he slingshots himself up and over, hitting Frank Dylan James with a cross body. The momentum slams them both up against the barricade, but Big Frank obviously took the brunt of the impact.

Joe Hoffman: Real Love Darin Zion goes flying through the air, and with all those hearts all over his gear, it looks like cupid has taken flight!

Zion scrambles back into the ring again, this time taking a few moments to catch his breath.

Joe Hoffman: And Zion is back inside, clearing the cobwebs.

Frank starts to stir on the outside, prompting Zion to climb back through to the floor, but Frank immediately fires another shot to the temple that sends Zion back against the apron. Frank charges again and this time the boot connects right to the jaw. Frank lets Zion fall right on his face, then climbs back into the ring.

Joe Hoffman: I think going outside to confront Frank was ill-advised, and now we have Frank in the ring and Zion on the floor. I dare say we won’t be seeing Frank pulling off a slingshot cross body. But I saw a squirrel water ski once, so anything is possible, really.

Zion starts moving around and finally gets up and leans against the apron, face first, then raises one leg up onto the apron and pulls himself into a kneeling position outside the ropes. Frank wastes no time and comes over, grabbing Zion roughly by the hair and pulling him through the ropes until his feet are dangling on the middle rope and only the big mountain man’s grip keeps him from falling on his face.

Joe Hoffman: Frank has him set up… will we be seeing a DDT?….

With both hands still holding onto Zion’s hair, Frank drives a knee to his head, then another, and another, finally just slamming Zion down face-first.

Joe Hoffman: I should have known. Vicious knee strikes to Darin Zion’s face and Frank just summarily dumped him face first on the mat.

Frank drops down and starts biting Darin Zion on the top of his head. Zion screams out and tries to fight Frank off, but he’s got a knee in Zion’s back as he bites down, until he just gets tired of it and spits some of Zion’s blood through the ropes.

Joe Hoffman: And Frank is chewing on the head of Zion! My God! The screaming, the blood… the spit! Disgusting.

Frank pulls Zion to his feet, and Zion takes a desperation swipe at Frank’s arms, just enough to loosen his grip. Zion leans back against the ropes, and bounces back with a dropkick to Frank’s left knee.

Joe Hoffman: Zion getting a little smarter here, which is a statement you usually never hear…

Frank drops to a knee, and Zion measures him for a buzzsaw kick. He screams as he delivers the kick to the side of Frank’s face.

Joe Hoffman: Zion gets him down to a knee and just obliterates Frank with a buzzsaw kick!!

FDJ falls backward to the mat and Zion jumps on him for a pinfall.

ONE…

TWO..

Frank tosses Zion three feet into the air and off of him.

Joe Hoffman: But not nearly enough…

Getting his second wind, Zion takes Frank Dylan James by the foot and turns it into a standing figure four leg lock. He torques the knee and then drops an elbow drop to the chest of the big man. He leaps to his feet and drops another elbow, this time getting some height on the leap. He drops down for another cover.

Joe Hoffman: Repeated elbow drops, and a cover!!

ONE..

TW…

Another forceful kickout.

Joe Hoffman: But once again, Zion is literally not strong enough to keep big Frank down. It might be time for Darin to switch to Plan B… not because he might be pregnant… because Plan A simply isn’t working…

Zion slides off of him and locks in a reverse chin lock, trying to wear the big man down and keep him off of his feet. He wrenches the neck back and forth and puts pressure on the back of his neck that keeps him hunched over his lap.

Joe Hoffman: Another smart move by Darin Zion. He’s got Frank Dylan James in a very uncomfortable position, putting pressure on the back of his neck and trying to wear him down. That’s the only way Zion’s gonna be able to keep Frank down for three seconds. He’s got to sap some of that strength and energy away…

Finally, Frank starts to rise to a knee, as Zion tries to hold on. Zion shifts into a modified sleeper hold as big Frank rises to his feet, causing Zion’s feet to dangle until he finally grapevines his legs around Frank’s waist. Wasting no time, Frank drops the full force of his body weight backward and splats Darin Zion on the canvas.

Joe Hoffman: Pancake!! Just like those giant ones they sell down in Gatlinburg!

Frank gets to his feet, then looks down at Zion, and with a loud “HUSS”, leaps up and drops a big knee across Zion’s throat. Zion clutches at his throat as Frank covers him and secures the leg.

Joe Hoffman: And a big knee!!!

ONE…

TWO…

TH… KICKOUT.

Frank mushes Zion’s face and orders Joe Boettcher to count again.

ONE…

TW…

Zion swipes Frank’s hand away. Frank growls and grabs Zion by the hair again and pulls him all the way up to his feet. He wraps his arms around Zion’s waist and then with a yell charges into the corner, crushing Zion against the turnbuckle. Frank lets go, then clubs Zion across the chest with an overhead forearm smash, then one from the left, then a third, back to the right, and one final shot with the left.

Joe Hoffman: Tried and true! Frank uses his brute strength to just pummel away at the smaller Darin Zion, and I don’t know how Darin is taking all of this punishment right now.

Zion gets a burst of energy and stuns Frank with a slap across his face. Frank’s eyes go wide with anger and Zion slips down and around the back of Frank as the big man tries and fails to smush Zion in the corner again.

Joe Hoffman: OHHH!!! Missed pancake!! Like the ones they make in Pigeon Forge!!

Turning around, Frank eats a forearm from Zion this time, then another, and Zion whips him out of the corner. Frank reverses and sends Zion across to the opposite corner and then charges in, but Zion moves and Frank hits chest first, knocking the wind right out of him.

Joe Hoffman: Going to that corner splat one more time and Frank misses again, and this time it looks like it took its toll a little more…

Zion sees an opportunity and runs toward Frank, delivering a hard knee to the back of his head. Zion flips him over onto his stomach and grabs one of his legs, twists it around, and drops down into an STF near the corner.

Joe Hoffman: One thing Frank won’t be able to do is match Darin Zion hold for hold. Zion now ties up Frank’s legs and is wrenching back on his neck with this STF…

Frank pounds a fist on the mat and reaches to try and break free, and inadvertently the free leg kicks the bottom rope and drapes there, causing Joe Boettcher to call for the break. Zion holds to a count of four, then finally lets go.

Joe Hoffman: Lucky moment there for Frank Dylan James. We all know he’s not the type to grab ropes to break up a move, but that was pure dumb luck for Frank, which admittedly… was part of his ‘training’.

Zion wastes no time and pulls Frank up to his feet, then tries to whip him into the ropes, but Frank again is too strong and reverses the Irish whip. Zion hits the ropes, then ducks a big clothesline and hits the other side, and comes flying off the rebound with a running spinning wheel kick.

Joe Hoffman: Frank is just too strong to whip across the ring, but I think that worked to Zion’s favor! He was able to get more of a running start and caught James right in the face with that kick!

Zion drops down next to Frank and tries to hook in the Love Handle, but Frank is fighting back.

Joe Hoffman: And Darin Zion has locked in the Love Handle!! Both of those tree trunk arms of Frank Dylan James are being pulled back… but now Frank gets one loose…

Zion pulls with all his might on the arm of Frank Dylan James, finally wrapping a leg around the leg of James, and hooking the move in a less typical fashion.

Joe Hoffman: Zion wasn’t able to keep a grasp on both of Frank’s massive arms, but he’s modified it here and he’s still putting a lot of pressure on the one arm he does have!

Frank screams out some hillbilly expletives, something about his grandpappy’s big oak tree and a creek that don’t rise or some shit. But while he’s doing this, Zion is pulling back still, putting all of the pressure on Frank’s arm and neck.

Joe Hoffman: Frank trying to fight back, but Zion is really digging in!

Frank writhes around in pain, then finally starts to shift his body weight enough that Zion’s grip loosens a bit. Frank senses Zion’s face right behind is, so he slams his head backward, catching Zion right in the nose.

Joe Hoffman: Ohhh!! A shot to the nose breaks that up immediately! Darin Zion is seeing stars!

Zion releases the hold immediately and grabs at his nose in pain, as it starts to swell up almost immediately.

Joe Hoffman: Zion’s nose now swelling up to twice its size…. Hmm, that’s not a bad look for Darin. It might even be an improvement… but never mind that, Frank Dylan James is free of the Love Handle…

Frank kicks completely free of the hold and takes a moment to get his wits about him. He grumbles something under his breath, then pulls Zion back up and throws him into the ropes. As he comes back off the bounce, Frank jumps and throws his own chest directly into Zion, who bounces off and nearly all the way through the ropes, with only a foot getting intertwined in the middle and bottom rope keeping him from hitting the floor head first.

Joe Hoffman: Zion almost hit the deck, but this might be even worse!! He’s dangling by one fit on the outside of the ring and has no way to extricate himself!!

Frank gets up, and steps through the ropes as Zion looks up, his eyes wide. Frank again yells out, “HUSS!!” then jumps and drops in a cannonball position onto and through Darin Zion, who hits the floor hard.

Joe Hoffman: And a devastating cannonball into and THROUGH Darin Zion!! The crowd let out a huge gasp at that one. It’s not every day you see a giant hairy bear-looking man cannonball another man, unless you’re Great Scott, who has an actual bear…. ish thing with him…

Frank gets to his feet, and as he does so, he catches sight of his chain on the apron by the near corner. He takes a step toward it, but Joe Boettcher jumps out of the ring and puts himself in between Frank and the chain, warning him of disqualification if he uses it as a weapon.

Joe Hoffman: Frank getting some ideas, which explains the burning smell… but Boettcher is having none of it!! He’s making it very clear that he’s only gonna allow so much in this match!

Frank scrunches his nose up and considers shoving the referee out of the way, but the point becomes moot as Darin Zion drives a shoulder into the back of Frank’s knees. Boettcher gets out of the way just in time as Frank goes headfirst into the ring steps.

Joe Hoffman: Get outta there, Boettcher… whew… Frank took a mighty shot to the back of the knee, and it just folded him up and right into the steps…

Joe Boettcher backs away and climbs back into the ring, and Zion slides into the ring quickly, right behind him. Frank is up, too, however, and howling mad. He slides head first into the ring as Zion hits the ropes, then leaps up onto the rising Frank and slips behind him.

Joe Hoffman: Zion with the quick move around to the back of Frank!….

Zion goes for a belly-to-back suplex, but can’t lift Frank off the mat. He changes his grip and tries for a German suplex, but again he can’t move the big man. Zion gets a burst of energy and tries to lift Frank a third time, this time going for Tough Love, but he can only get Frank a few inches off the ground.

Joe Hoffman: Try as he might, Darin Zion cannot get big Frank up off the mat, and I think it may be time to try something else…

Finally, Frank breaks free, turns, and grabs Zion around the neck. He goozles him and practically tosses him up and into the air, delivering a deadly Smoky Mountain Spike to Zion’s throat.

Joe Hoffman: OHHH!! Too late!! Smoky Mountain Spike!! Zion is down and out!

Zion goes down face first, and Frank puts a knee into the center of his back. Reaching down, he clasps Zion around the neck in a modified bulldog choke, then starts violently wrenching and swinging Zion’s neck back and forth.

Joe Hoffman: Dear Lord!! The Stranglehold!! Frank Dylan James is going after Darin Zion’s neck like he’s trying to pop the head off of a barbie doll!

Frank keeps it up as Zion shows no sign of life or ability to fight back, and finally, Joe Boettcher calls for the bell.

Joe Hoffman: And that’ll do it!!

DING DING DING

Bryan McVay: The winner of this match… as a result of referee stoppage… in 16 minutes, 27 seconds…. FRAAAAANK DYLAAAANNNN JAAAAAAAMES!!!!

Joe Hoffman: A big win for Frank Dylan James tonight… and… wait a second…

Frank lets Boettcher raise his hand in victory and he snarls down at Zion, then he yanks his hand away and stomps over to the corner. He reaches down and picks up his chain then walks over and stands above the lifeless Darin Zion.

Joe Hoffman: That’s enough! Boettcher, do something!!

Frank wraps the chain around his fist, kneels down, and starts wailing away at Zion with the chain. Over and over he drives his fist into Zion’s head, and blood spurts from his nose as Frank finally stops, satisfied.

Joe Hoffman: See, this is what happens when we go recruiting in the mountains! Poor Darin Zion’s face looks like a badly undercooked steak.

Frank stands up and climbs out of the ring, heading up the ramp.

Joe Hoffman: Well, we’re gonna move on, ladies and gentlemen… it’s gonna take some time to get all of the pieces of Darin Zion out of the ring…

In the ring, Darin Zion is tended to by medical personnel as we cut away.

We cut backstage where Blaire Moise has Joe Bergman with her.

Blaire Moise: Joe, can you update us on the status of Steve Solex after what happened last week?

Joe shakes his head.

Joe Bergman: Blaire, Steve’s fine. You saw him earlier tonight. Physically he might be beat up but mentally he is…well he is fine. Why, It’s going to take a hell of a lot more than a Board directed premediated attack by the EPU to keep the Merc-Dad down.

Blaire Moise: So he’ll be ready for next week’s match?

Joe Bergman: Yes.

Blaire Moise: Joe, The Highwaymen are down 2-0 and on the brink of losing the HOTv Tag Team title.  How do you get back into this?

Joe Bergman: Well, obviously we have to find a way to win the next two matches so we can get to Rumble at the Rock for a fifth match.  I’ll give credit to the Egg Bandits for taking a 2-0 lead.  Bobby Dean has wrestled his ass off and they’ve taken advantage of the opportunities given them.  But we’re Highwaymen.  We’re not going to bitch and moan about being down 2-0.   Steve Solex and Joe Bergman are going to tighten our belts and throw everything we’ve got at the Bandits to get back into this- starting next week in Kansas City at MVW’s Heartland pay per view show.  We have to win there next Sunday.

Blaire Moise: Joe, does having the third match at Missouri Valley Wrestling help you and Solex… does it give you a home field advantage?

Joe Bergman: I don’t know.  It’s still all about a wrestling ring, four men, and which team will do what it takes to get the win.  Do the Highwaymen have a better chance of doing that at the MVW pay per view Sunday night- far away from Chaos 10 at Cleveland?

Joe shrugs.

Joe Bergman: Maybe.  But at the end of the day, the Highwaymen need to forget what happened in the first two matches and focus on what we need to do in the next two matches.  That’s the only way we get to Rumble at the Rock and a deciding match five.

Blaire Moise: All right.  Joe Bergman, thanks for your time.

Joe Bergman: Thank you Blaire.

Blaire Moise: We will be back with more Chaos 009 right after this commercial message.

As the image comes back from commercial we see Scott Stevens all smiles behind his 97 Red sunglasses as he is sitting in front of a monitor kicked backed and relaxed. He’s got a towel around his neck and ice packs on his knees as Jack Dawson approaches.

Jack Dawson: Scott. Scott. Scott.

Stevens turns his head towards the sound of Jack’s voice.

Jack Dawson: Can I get a few words on your victory here tonight?

Scott Stevens: Sure.

Stevens replies with joy.

Jack Dawson: What does this victory take to you as you have now won two in a row for the first time in a long time in HOW?

Stevens slowly reaches behind him and produces the Book of Best.

Scott Stevens: Just following the path of 97 Red enlightenment Jack.

Stevens kisses the Book.

Scott Stevens: I have been telling you for months that I have been chosen by GOD for great things and none of you believed me or our GOD when the pieces where laid out in front of everyone. I showed you domination when I beat Bob Greiner in the middle of the Golden Circle and I did that here tonight when I sent a message to Scottywood by beating his Whore here tonight!

Stevens emphasizes as he shouts and points to the ground.

Jack Dawson: I see, so where does that take you going forward?

Jack asks and the Demi-God of HOW shrugs.

Scott Stevens: Wherever my GOD takes me because right now I’m focused on putting an end to the Anti-Christ of HOW once and for all

The Texan informs Jack before ending the message.

Scott Stevens: Now if you’ll excuse me, I want to watch my son crack open an egg in the middle of the Gold Circle and successfully defend his HOTv championship.

Stevens says in a delightful tone as a devilish smirk forms over his face.

Jack Dawson: Thank you for your time.

We cut away from a still smiling Scott Stevens.

We shift around the backstage area here in the Wells Fargo Center to the locker room that has been designated for members of The Board. Inside of the locker room STRONK Godson can be seen sitting hunched over on the leather couch holding the femur bone he used to choke out Conor Fuse last week. There is a look of anger on the face of STRONK but as the camera pans out wider it’s seen that the HOW LSD Champion Jace Parker Davidson is leaned over the back of the couch. Jace takes a deep breath and then begins to speak to his partner.

Davidson: I know this is an ongoing issue but we need to snip this in the bud, pal. RATR is getting closer and closer and we need to get our heads back into the game. We didn’t get the job done at Dead or Alive and now those HOTv World Tag Team Championship belts are about to be won by the Egg Bandits of all people!

Davidson throws his hands into the air but then pauses and leans back over the couch.

Davidson: And just to be clear the Egg Bandits doesn’t mean there are actual eggs. There is no food involved with them at all, mainly because Bobby Dean inhales it all. I think if you and Bobby Dean ever entered an all you can eat buffet together that the place would go out of business within the hour. But like I said no eggs and don’t even begin to ask me exactly what an Egg Bandit is. I have no idea and I honestly want to live the rest of my life without ever finding out that piece of information.

Davidson shakes his head trying to stop the tangent that he is on and focus back on the point of the matter.

Davidson: Like I was saying those HOTv Tag Team Championship belts are just out there floating in obscurity. It’s been TOO damn long since you’ve had gold around your waist. You’re the number 1 ranked wrestler in HOW. You’re more than capable of dominating the competition but you’re got your head all messed up.

Jace places his hands down onto STRONK’s mighty shoulders.

Davidson: With what you did to Fuse last week? I thought that is the STRONK that we need to see. That killer instinct but then this week you go out to the ring at the end of the Scott Stevens vs. Bobbinette Carey match? Why? That’s not the plan, that’s not the focus we need from you big guy. Scott Stevens is a nobody and don’t even get me started on the other person in that situation.

STRONK is stoic and unmoving as Jace walks around the couch until he’s face to face with Godson.

Davidson: I get it, trust me. Puppy love is a hell of a thing but it’s not THE thing that is best for you. STRONKUMMS are the craze right now. Everyone is buying them up. We need to go across the different PWA companies and begin selling even more of them. We debuted Liquid STRONKUMMS not too long ago and we can’t keep the damn things on the shelf. We have our first STRONKUMMS sponsored athlete. The HOTv Champion GREAT SCOTT and here is the kicker. I’m paying him in Liquid STRONKUMMS and only if he wins matches. Isn’t that great? You remember the HOTv Championship belt, don’t you?

Jace crouches down and looks at his partner hoping for a positive reaction. STRONK only glances up at Davidson for a brief moment before lowering his gaze again while gripping the bone from MONGO in his massive hands.

Davidson: Look at it this way…

Davidson continues to speak but we move to the outside of the locker room where Brian Bare can be seen wandering around with his microphone in hand. Bare spots The Board’s locker room and approaches for an interview but Abdullah Choi is standing guard outside of the door. Choi prevents Bare from getting anywhere near what is transpiring inside of the locker room. But inside Davidson is searching STRONK for any sign of an emotion other than anger and gets nothing.

Davidson: I didn’t want it to come to this but I’m going to be honest with you. “Robbernette” isn’t the person that you think she is. You already heard what I said about Fuse but he’s just the pawn in this game. Carey is the brains of the operation. They run around here week in and week out playing detective and crying about who tried to kill Bobbinette Carey. It’s just a cover up, a distraction to try and fool everyone over the fact that it was Carey that ordered MONGO to be killed…

Davidson pauses as STRONK’s head snaps to attention and his eyes grow wide. Davidson nods his head a bit looking to press the issue further.

Davidson: Think about it. You tried to get her to go out with you and she turned you down. She thought that her and Scottywood were going to sniff those HOW World Tag Team Championship belts. When that didn’t happen she suddenly decides to send you half a cow. Not a whole cow, but half of a cow thinking she could buy your love. And just when it was about to happen Papa Best swoops in and gets you MONGO. Not half a cow, he gets you a motherfucking bull. One big enough for you to ride on.

The smirk on Davidson’s face begins to grow as he keeps spinning his yarn.

Davidson: That didn’t sit well with Carey, she was pissed off about it. The attention wasn’t on her. You were happy, you became a member of The Board and we were the greatest duo in this company. Everything was perfect so she did the only thing that she could do. She talked Fuse into killing MONGO in cold blood. Why else do you think he came back to HOW? It’s not because Bobbinette makes for a good partner or even a friend for that matter. It was to be under her skirt just like he was under Lindsay Troy’s skirt in the past.

Jace leans closer towards STRONK whose lip begins to twitch and curl.

Davidson: Bobbinette Carey is responsible for MONGO’s death and Conor Fuse pulled the trigger. She’s been lying to you this entire time. She set her place on fire and is playing the victim to try and fool you. She’s going to try telling you that she loves you but she doesn’t. She just wants to use you. She’ll use you and throw you away just like she did Shane Reynolds. Just like she did Scottywood, and just like she’s going to do to Conor Fuse. You… no, WE need to take Bobbinette Carey out once and for all. This is for your own good, STRONK. I’m going to make sure we put Carey in the ground in the name of justice for MONGO.

STRONK shoots up to his feet like lightning and begins to stalk towards Davidson. Jace straightens up and back pedals in fear that his talk of killing Bobbinette Carey has finally made STRONK snap. Jace backs up until he’s pressed against the wall of the locker room as STRONK just stares daggers into him. Just when it looks like STRONK is going to strike he stops and turns around. STRONK marches his way through the locker room door and down the hallway. Abdullah Choi peeks his head into the dressing room as Jace places his hand over his chest.

Davidson: We… MAY… have a problem.

Choi looks like he’s just seen a ghost after Jace’s comment as we head to our final commercial break of the evening.

Back from commercial we find ourselves backstage one final time with Brian Bare standing by…but before he can even speak up, he’s interrupted by the arrival of Xander Azula, noticeably alone on this particular occasion…and, curiously, not in a very good mood either. Still, a scoop is a scoop, so Brian presses on.

Brian Bare: Xander, can I get a word with you about…

Xander just glares at the reporter for a moment, before finally speaking up.

Xander Azula: Tonight? No, not really. What’s done is done.

The statement seems to confuse Brian.

Brian Bare: Yeah, but…

Once again, any line of questioning is interrupted by the Fighter.

Xander Azula: Listen, in just a moment the High Octane Television Championship will be on the line…and I’m not a part of it. I’m not saying Bobby Dean hasn’t earned his shot, he’s been on a roll–no pun intended–since he and the Bandits returned. No, I’m just annoyed because that should’ve been me.

Brian Bare: I’m confused, Xander, are you saying you’re…jealous?

This draws another glare from the Fighter, until he gives a slight nod of acknowledgement.

Xander Azula: Maybe. Seeing who’s in the main event tonight just reminded me of where I need to turn my attention next. The time for talking is over, Brian, and next week I have a date with destiny when I pummel one of sVo’s finest for the whole world to witness.

Xander turns his attention directly to the camera, a certain intensity matched between his face and his voice as he continues.

Xander Azula: Once I’ve taken that monkey off my back, I can regroup and focus on Rumble at the Rock. If a man who currently holds a belt in sVo can get his shot at HOW gold, then maybe it’s high time I start pushing toward one myself.

Xander turns his attention back to Brian with a wicked smirk on his face.

Xander Azula: Have a good evening, Brian, and hopefully Bobbo doesn’t screw up his chance at the title too badly.

That final statement is said with a chuckle as Xander turns away, leaving our view in a hurry as we head to ringside for our main event of the evening!

We head back to the ringside area here in Philadelphia where the crowd is buzzing for the main event of the evening. The camera pans the audience before setting on the announcers table where Hall of Fame broadcaster Joe Hoffman is ready to call the action.

Joe Hoffman: It’s time for our main event of the evening and we’ve taken all of our commercial breaks for tonight’s show. After last week’s main event, this promises to be quite the match. I won’t keep you waiting any longer. Let’s send it to the ring where Bryan McVay is ready to make tonight’s introductions.

The camera shifts from Hoffman to the center of the ring where Bryan McVay is standing with his microphone in hand. The sound of “YOUR THE BEST” by Joe Esposito finishes playing as McVay raises the microphone up to his lips.

Bryan McVay: Our next match is the main event of the evening and it is for the HOTv Championship!

The crowd stands on its feet and cheers wildly as McVay pauses before he points towards the far corner and speaks again.

Bryan McVay: Introducing first the Challenger, from Houston, Texas. Weighing in tonight at 369 lbs. Representing The Egg Bandits here is BEAUTIFULLLL BOBBYYYYY DEANNNNN!!!

Bobby Dean weakly waves to the crowd from the corner before taking off his robe and tossing it to the outside of the ring.

Joe Hoffman: Bobby Dean came down while the camera wasn’t at ringside and as you can tell the walk to the ring already has made him work up quite the sweat. Regardless, The Egg Bandits have been on a roll since returning to HOW and if Dean can win tonight he’ll bring the HOTv Championship into the fold. Who here thought you’d be hearing being said in 2022?

Bobby Dean leans back against the turnbuckle and begins waving his hands back and forth over his face trying to cool down. McVay raises the microphone back up to his lips to speak.

Bryan McVay: And his opponent…

“I’M THE GREATEST” by RINGO STARR STARTS TO BLAST THROUGH THE SPEAKERS HERE IN THE WELLS FARGO CENTER AS THE CROWD LOOKS TOWARDS THE ENTRANCE WAY.

Bryan McVay: From The Greater Metro Area of Great Falls, Montana. Weighing in tonight at 276 lbs. He is the reigning and defending HOTv Champion and STRONKUMMS sponsored athlete… GREATTTT SCOTTTT!!!

Joe Hoffman: Last week in the main event of Chaos 008 GREAT SCOTT went to war with Frank Dylan James for the HOTv Championship. In the end thanks to Liquid STRONKUMMS GREAT SCOTT managed to walk out victorious but tonight he defends against a man that is almost 100 lbs. Bigger than he is.

McVay exits the ring as Boettcher walks over and takes the HOTv Championship belt away from GREAT SCOTT. Boettcher walks to the center of the ring then raises the belt high above his head to show the crowd the title is on the line. Boettcher walks over to the ropes and hands the title off to the timekeeper before calling for the bell.

DING DING

GREAT SCOTT and Bobby Dean walk out of their respective corners and meet in the center of the ring. Both men exchange words back and forth before locking up collar and elbow. There is a struggle for position but GREAT SCOTT is able to slowly before surely force Bobby Dean back into the corner. Boettcher comes over and calls for a clean break. GREAT SCOTT lets go of Bobby slowly and raises his hands into the air innocently but Bobby uses the opportunity to jam a thumb to the eye of his opponent.

Joe Hoffman: Bobby Dean up to typical Egg Bandit tactics here early in this match. This is supposed to be a highly motivated Bobby Dean but we’ll see if he has what it takes to become the HOTv Champion.

Boettcher warns Bobby who puts on an innocent act. GREAT SCOTT staggers away from the corner holding his eye as Bobby Dean rumbles out of the corner. Before Dean can strike, GREAT SCOTT turns and uses his opponent’s momentum to snap off a powerslam. The impact of Bobby Dean’s body hitting the canvas at such a high velocity makes Boettcher hold onto the top rope for dear life. GREAT SCOTT gets up to his feet and flexes his arms for the crowd as Bobby Dean begins to try and pull himself off the canvas. GREAT SCOTT turns around and begins to stalk around Bobby Dean as he makes it back to a vertical base. GREAT SCOTT comes up from behind Bobby and tucks his head under Bobby’s arm. GREAT SCOTT grips Bobby Dean by the love handles and begins to try and lift him off of his feet. Bobby Dean begins to rain down elbow shoves to the back of GREAT SCOTT’s neck. However, the STRONKUMMS sponsored athlete managed to get Bobby Dean off his feet a little bit and hits him with a belly to back suplex down to the canvas as the ring quivers from the impact.

Joe Hoffman: You would think with a man the size of Bobby Dean that GREAT SCOTT would choose speed and to wear down his opponent. But the HOTv Champion is going straight to the power game against Bobby Dean. I guess even if your opponent is almost 400 lbs you still need to be a good representative of what steroids… I mean STRONKUMMS can do for you. I worry if Bobby Dean gets slammed many more times the ring itself might explode into pieces!

The ring rocks a bit as Bobby holds the back of his head in pain. GREAT SCOTT gets up to his feet then grabs a hold of Bobby Dean by the hair and pulls him back up to his feet. GREAT SCOTT fires off a series of punches to the face then whips Bobby Dean into the ropes. Bobby bounces off the ropes but runs right into a big time clothesline from GREAT SCOTT that sends him back down to the canvas. GREAT SCOTT flexes his arm and then drops an elbow down onto the Challenger for the HOTv Championship belt. GREAT SCOTT gets back up to his feet then makes his way to the corner. GREAT SCOTT climbs to the middle rope as Bobby Dean staggers back up to his feet. As Bobby turns around GREAT SCOTT leaps off the middle rope and hits Bobby with a double ax handle shot to the hand that floors him. GREAT SCOTT backs up to the corner again and yells for Bobby to get back up to his feet. Bobby fights his way to a vertical base. GREAT SCOTT charges as Bobby turns around and connects with GREAT SCOTT MUZIK. GREAT SCOTT hooks the leg and makes the cover on Dean as Boettcher slides in for the count.

Matt Boettcher: ONE

Matt Boettcher: TWO

KICKOUT!

Joe Hoffman: The superkick hit Bobby Dean flush on the chin but it only got a two count. Bobby Dean still has enough fight in him to kick out and keep his chances alive. It’s been all GREAT SCOTT here thus far but what is it going to take to put Dean away?

GREAT SCOTT gets back up to his feet then signals to the crowd that he’s going to finish off Bobby Dean. GREAT SCOTT leans down and grabs a hold of Bobby by the hair. GREAT SCOTT shoves Dean’s head between his legs and looks out at the crowd. GREAT SCOTT grabs two handfuls of Dean’s love handles and attempts THE GREAT SCOTT BOMB but Dean is so sweaty that the Champion can’t keep his grip. Bobby Dean counters and hits GREAT SCOTT with a big back body drop down to the canvas. GREAT SCOTT rolls to the corner then uses the ropes to pull himself back up to his feet. Bobby Dean charges and then squashes GREAT SCOTT in the corner with a big splash. GREAT SCOTT staggers out of the corner having all of the air forced out of his body. Bobby Dean grabs a hold of GREAT SCOTT then tosses him through the ropes to the outside of the ring. Bobby leans across the turnbuckle and breathes heavily.

Joe Hoffman: GREAT SCOTT went to the power well one too many times looking to powerbomb Bobby Dean of all people. Dean managed to counter and now he’s tossed GREAT SCOTT to the outside. Bobby is still taking a much needed break to try and catch a second wind.

Bobby continues to rest as GREAT SCOTT lays on the arena floor. Boettcher begins his ten count but after a second or two Bobby Dean makes his way out of the corner. Bobby grabs a hold of Boettcher and stops him from counting. Boettcher is confused as Bobby begins to explain something to him while pointing down to the canvas. After a few moments Boettcher gets down on his hands and knees on the canvas. Bobby Dean looks out at the crowd with a wild look in his eyes as he points to the outside of the ring.

Joe Hoffman: Please tell me that he’s not thinking what I think he’s thinking. Is Bobby Dean really trying to take flight to the outside here in this match?! Boettcher’s poor spine doesn’t stand a chance of withstanding the sheer girth of Beautiful Bobby Dean!

Bobby Dean turns towards the ropes and races towards them. Bobby bounces off the ropes as it finally clicks in Boettcher’s head on what is about to happen. Boettcher gets the hell out of dodge but Bobby Dean trips and falls over his own feet before face planting on the canvas. The crowd roars with laughter as Boettcher gets up to his feet. Bobby staggers back up a vertical base as GREAT SCOTT climbs up to the ring apron. Bobby Dean walks over towards the ropes but GREAT SCOTT lowers himself and plants a shoulder into Bobby Dean’s midsection. Unfortunately for the Champion it has no effect. GREAT SCOTT tries planting repeated shoulder blocks into Dean’s midsection but it does nothing but cause his belly to jiggle like a bowl full of jelly. Bobby grabs a hold of GREAT SCOTT then brings him back into the ring the hard way with a vertical suplex. Bobby Dean gets up to his feet then grabs a hold of his trunks. Bobby hikes them up as far as they’ll go causing a great portion of his ass cheeks to become exposed. GREAT SCOTT tries to sit up after the suplex but Dean charges and hits him with a sit down squash. Bobby sits his 369 lbs. frame on GREAT SCOTT’s chest as Boettcher slides in for the count.

Matt Boettcher: ONE

Matt Boettcher: TWO

Matt Boettcher: THR–

KICKOUT

Joe Hoffman: Bobby Dean might have broken quite a few of GREAT SCOTT’s ribs with that move and it nearly made him the new HOTv Champion. GREAT SCOTT was able to muscle Bobby Dean off of him right before the three count was made. Dean needs to keep the pressure on here and not give the Champion a chance to recover.

Bobby Dean gets up to his feet then argues with Boettcher over the count but Boettcher stands his ground saying that it was only a two count. Disappointed, Bobby Dean turns his attention back towards GREAT SCOTT who is struggling to try and get back up to his feet. Bobby Dean grabs a hold of GREAT SCOTT then hits him with a gutwrench suplex that slams him back down to the canvas. Bobby Dean gets back up to his feet then uses his hands to slap his butt cheeks. Bobby Dean charges going for another sit down squash but GREAT SCOTT rolls out of the way and Bobby falls ass first down onto the canvas. GREAT SCOTT gets back up his feet holding his midsection as Bobby tries to regain a vertical base.

Joe Hoffman: Bobby Dean saw how close he was to becoming the HOTv Champion by sitting on GREAT SCOTT so he decided to try it one more time. Only this time GREAT SCOTT was able to get out of the way which caused Bobby to crash and burn down to the canvas. GREAT SCOTT has a chance to turn the tide in this match but can he after being crushed by nearly 400 lbs?

GREAT SCOTT comes up from behind Bobby Dean and goes for a German suplex. The only problem is that Bobby Dean is so big that GREAT SCOTT’s arms aren’t long enough to secure a waist lock. Bobby Dean charges backwards then crushes GREAT SCOTT back against the turnbuckle. Bobby waddles away from the corner as GREAT SCOTT stumbles away from the turnbuckle. Bobby Dean grabs a hold of GREAT SCOTT and lifts him off of his feet. Bobby falls forward and slams LARGE DADDY SCOTT down to the canvas hard. Bobby gets back up to his feet then makes his way over to the corner and begins to climb the turnbuckle. Bobby Dean steadies himself up the middle rope as the crowd stands on its feet. Bobby Dean leaps off the middle rope and connects with a senton splash down onto GREAT SCOTT. Bobby Dean hooks the leg and makes the cover on GREAT SCOTT as Boettcher slides in.

Matt Boettcher: ONE

Matt Boettcher: TWO

Matt Boettcher: THREE

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Joe Hoffman: I thought that was it. I thought we had an Egg Bandit as the new HOTv Champion but at the last split second GREAT SCOTT managed to get his foot on the bottom rope. A desperation move for sure but it kept him from losing this match and his title to his fellow PRIME and HOW superstar.

Bobby Dean gets up to his feet and raises his arms into the air in celebration. He turns around expecting to be handed the HOTv Championship belt but Boettcher informs him that it was only a two count because GREAT SCOTT gets his foot on the bottom rope. Bobby Dean is livid and argues with Boettcher as GREAT SCOTT tries to fight his way off of the canvas. Bobby Dean marches past Boettcher then grabs a hold of GREAT SCOTT. Bobby Dean lifts GREAT SCOTT into the air and locks in a bear hug.

Joe Hoffman: This is the move Bobby Dean used last week to make the Egg Bandits go up two wins to zero against the Highwaymen. And after all the punishment GREAT SCOTT’s midsection has taken during this match this could be it for the Champion.

Bobby Dean squeezes for all he’s worth as GREAT SCOTT howls in pain. The crowd is hushed as they begin to realize this might be it for the reign of GREAT SCOTT. Bobby Dean continues to try and squeeze the life out of the HOTv Champion as Boettcher is on top of the situation. GREAT SCOTT’s body goes limp as Boettcher lifts his arm into the air.

Matt Boettcher: ONE

Boettcher lifts the arm one more time into the air but gets the same result as before while Bobby Dean smiles proudly.

Matt Boettcher: TWO

Boettcher grabs a hold of GREAT SCOTT’s arm one more time and raises it into the air.

Joe Hoffman: That arm falls one more time and we have a new HOTv Champion…

Boettcher lets go of the arm and it begins to fall but at the last moment GREAT SCOTT keeps the arm from dropping completely. The crowd cheers wildly as GREAT SCOTT begins to clap his arms together around Bobby Dean’s head. Dean keeps his grip on the Champion until GREAT SCOTT leans down and begins biting Bobby. The Beautiful One releases his grip on GREAT SCOTT who begins racing towards the ropes. GREAT SCOTT bounces off the ropes then leaps into the air…

Joe Hoffman: SCOTTACANRANA!

But due to Bobby Dean’s sheer mass GREAT SCOTT can’t flip him over down to the canvas. Dean lifts GREAT SCOTT into the air high and then plants him with a sit down powerbomb down to the canvas. The canvas trembles as both men lay on the mat motionless as Boettcher begins his ten count.

Joe Hoffman: Both men are down and I have a feeling the man that gets up to his feet first might be the man that puts this one in the bag.

Both GREAT SCOTT and Bobby Dean fight their way to their feet before the count of ten. Bobby Dean makes his way over towards GREAT SCOTT then plants a knee to the midsection that doubles him over in pain. Bobby Dean turns and races towards the ropes. Bobby bounces off the ropes but GREAT SCOTT catches him and hits him with a spinebuster down to the canvas. GREAT SCOTT gets up to his feet holding his ribs but is determined to fight through the pain. GREAT SCOTT leans down and grabs a hold of Bobby Dean. GREAT SCOTT shoves Bobby Dean’s head between his legs then double underhooks his arms. GREAT SCOTT connects with the SCOTTAGREE planting Bobby Dean face first down on the canvas. GREAT SCOTT gets back up to his feet then makes his way over towards the corner and begins to climb the turnbuckle. GREAT SCOTT perches himself on the middle rope as Bobby Dean staggers back up to his feet. As Bobby turns around GREAT SCOTT leaps off the middle rope going for the SCOTTACANRANA but Bobby Dean once again catches him.

Joe Hoffman: Bobby Dean is just too big to be able to be SCOTTACANRANA’D. He’s got GREAT SCOTT on his shoulders and we could see another sit down powerbomb here.

Bobby Dean walks to the center of the ring looking to powerbomb GREAT SCOTT again but this time away from the ropes. GREAT SCOTT begins to rain right hands down onto the head of Bobby Dean then uses his strength to spin himself while on Dean’s shoulders.

Joe Hoffman: REVERSE SCOTTACANRANA!

Using his GREAT leg strength GREAT SCOTT snaps Bobby Dean backwards and spikes him head first down onto the canvas with a reverse hurricanrana. GREAT SCOTT hooks the leg and makes the cover on Bobby Dean as Boettcher slides in for the count.

Matt Boettcher: ONE

Matt Boettcher: TWO

Matt Boettcher: THREE!!!

DING DING

Bryan McVay: Here is your winner in 15 minutes and 15 seconds and STILL HOTv Champion… GREATTTT SCOTTTTT!!!!

GREAT SCOTT rolls off of Bobby Dean and lays on the canvas holding his midsection. Boettcher grabs the HOTv Championship belt and places it down on GREAT SCOTT’s chest. GREAT SCOTT clutches the title to his chest as Boettcher raises his free arm into the air.

Joe Hoffman: A hard fought victory over a very game Bobby Dean but GREAT SCOTT survives another week as HOTv Champion. I guess that means more Liquid STRONKUMMS will be in our Champion’s future. That’s all the time we have this week here from Philly, join us next week as we’ll be live from Cleveland for Chaos 010. Goodnight everyone!