CHOI STORY: TRIPLE CHAMPION EDITION

Hello, High Octane Wrestling.

It’s me, THE manager of CHAMPIONS Abdullah Choi. I know it’s been a while since I’ve done one of these so give me some room.

Last night was freaking AMAZING!

Chaos? Oh, yeah, right, right, Chaos was good and all, but it was AFTER the show was over, that things really got fun. You see, old Abby Choi was up all night long. I was popping bottles; I was doing any drug I could get my hands on. Pretty much popping Molly because it was party time, baby!

My client.

Your FOREVER HOW ICON Champion.

The reigning and defending, undisputed, GREATEST HOW LSD Champion EVER.

And now… your HOTv World Tag Team Champions, bitches!

Wait, huh? Scott Stevens? Who dat?!

Ohhhhh, right, sorry. Still a little hangover from last night. That strip club was lit, and all the lap dances were on my client’s dime. I took one of them back to the hotel with me and let me tell you… it costs A LOT of money to do the things that I did to someone’s daughter in that hotel room. That poor girl might never be the same again. I think she might quit the business and go back to school.

Abdullah Choi: Helping the youth of society since… uhhh… when the fuck is my birthday?

You know what? That doesn’t matter. What does matter is that my boy, my client, my friend and business partner went out there and did exactly what he said he was going to do. He went to the ring, kicked Steve Solex’s ass and pinned him right there in the center of the ring to win those HOTv World Tag Team Championship belts. And he didn’t even need Christopher America to cheat to get the job done.

Fair and square. My boy is just better than all y’all.

I would love… LOVE to see the look on Harrison’s face right about now. That sentient chicken anal discharge looking son of a bitch said that beating Jace in tag team matches is just what he does.

PROVED YOU THE FUCK WRONG, DIDN’T HE?!

Harrison is probably tucked away in some bar, sitting there drinking his troubles away. Well, guess what buddy? They don’t make alcohol strong enough to make the fact that you suck go away. Not everyone can be dealt a good hand in life and right now you don’t even have a pair. Both metaphorically and anatomy wise. Have fun walking into ICONIC empty handed and losing to the video game kid.

Bet you wish you would have accepted that controller now, don’t you?

Also, what is with all the hate for what Jace said about Solex? Just because someone serves makes them a good person. I don’t think that applies here. There was no lie in what he said but the boss man supports the troops. So, I will tow the company line and give Jace a thorough talk about his behavior.

Anyway…

Steve Solex… when are we going to stop pretending this guy is like… you know… good? He’s never won the HOW World Championship belt. Sure, he was the first ever HOTv Champion… that is until Jace beat his ass for it. He’s been a tag team Champion a couple of times, but he’s also been the #1 reason why The Highwaymen always lose those belts. But yeah, all of you ass kissers out there will still be in the stands at ICONIC and pretend like Steve Solex presents any kind of challenge to the King of Everything.

I already know what you’re thinking.

Abby Choi is a leech and has just hitched his wagon to JPD now that STRONK Daddy is gone. And personally… I’m not going to fucking deny it. Of course, I went and aligned myself with the best wrestler on planet earth. You all act like that’s supposed to be shameful or something. The only shameful thing is that Jace has been around for how long now and none of you thought about doing it first.

Don’t hate the genius, hate the game.

And the game is good to Abdullah Choi right now. I moved the fuck out of Minnesota even though Jace is keeping that house nice and paid for just in case STRONK Daddy ever comes back. I’ve moved into a sweet house in Miami right near the beach. Rent free I might add. I have four lovely female roommates who quite frankly hate my very existence.

Which isn’t a deal breaker for me.

I like me a Dommy Mommy. I get paid to stand in the corner and watch the GREATEST wrestler that ever lived do what he does best. I get to handle things behind the scenes for STRONKUMMS LLC, and hopefully now that Jace owns a Ladies Football Team, I can convince him to let me be the laundry boy for his players.

Those sweet, sweet, game worn panties. I can just smell the womanhood from here.

Sorry, I need to focus.

So yes, Jace technically does have to share the HOTv World Tag Team Championship belts with Scott Stevens. Although, thanks to Chris America that idiot got laid out for almost costing Jace those belts. He got chewed out and told he wasn’t one of us. I just wish America would have given Jace both belts. That way he’d be able to pick a more suitable person to be one half of the Champions.

Someone like… ME!

I’m no wrestler but I’m smart enough to stand in the corner and not get in Jace’s way while he works his magic. But for all the disrespect that Scott Stevens got at the end of Chaos, he gets to main event Chaos this week about Cap America for the HOW World Champion. Pretty fair trade if you ask me. Get to ride Jace’s coattails to the title plus get punked out by the Champ and get a shot at his belt a week later?

Scott Stevens must suck a mean dick.

Might have to polish off my oral capabilities if it gets favors from the boss man like that.

Moving away from Stevens because… it’s Stevens. Jace has to defend the HOW LSD Championship belt in a no DQ match against Xander Azula…

AHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Ahem, sorry, that was unprofessional. As I was saying, Xander Azula…

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Sweet mercy, fuck me sideways.

Jace basically has the week off and doesn’t need to train AT ALL. My boy is going to have second helpings of Thanksgiving dinner and all the sides. He might even eat a piece of sweet potato pie while making Azula his bitch.

It is good to be in The Final Alliance.

I think I hear Madison going into the bathroom to take a shower. So, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go man my secret peephole.

Manager of THE Triple Champion… OUT!