PRIME Rumor Mills: July 25th Edition

    • While WarmCold has set the PRIME locker room aflutter in the last few weeks since its introduction in the marketplace, rumblings from well-placed sources at the branch locations of the national law firm Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe indicate a class action lawsuit against the parent company, GruelTec Foods and Rat Poison Company. Roughly half the people who have purchased the edible liniment nationwide have reported explosive diarrhea to the point of dehydration. Coupled with the COVID-19 pandemic already overloading hospitals, many of these victims have been denied emergency medical care and have had to resort to going broke buying liquids for at-home hydration.

Sources close to The Anglo Luchador, the face of the product’s advertising campaign, say he’s distressed by this news. However, GruelTec has told him they will not let him out of his contract and, in fact, part of fulfillment of the deal includes the PRIME Intense Champion creating at least two more flavors by the end of FY2023. No one has publicly acknowledged any of this, but it makes sense why ReVival has not aired any WarmCold ads recently. We’ll keep all of you posted.


    • Potentially a nothing rumor here, but HOW ICON Champion Tyler Adrian Best is alleged to have had lunch with PRIME owner Lindsay Troy early Saturday. A graduate of Troy Combat Systems, it wouldn’t generally be unusual for Tyler to be seen with his pro wrestling mentor, but with the new partnership between ACE and HOTv it’s hard to rule anything out.

Tyler is the son of HOW CEO Michael Lee Best and the grandson of the GOD of HOW himself. Maybe this one is nothing… or maybe it isn’t.


    • A possible casualty from the PWA rights agreement announced after the conclusion of ReVival 11 is that the popular children’s webtoon, “Mega Job and the Ten True Fruits,” was in the middle of negotiations with ACE Network representatives regarding streaming rights when the PWA deal was reached. The rumor is that whatever negotiations had been agreed upon by ACE Network have been walked back by those in charge of PWA, who are less interested in non-wrestling content than the ACE Network is.

Making these waters even murkier is the presence of wrestler Coral Avalon, who plays the role of Baron von Blackberry on both PRIME television and the webtoon. It’s rumored that Avalon will continue to perform in the role in PRIME for the time being as he owns the rights to the character, but it’s not known yet what will happen if the new negotiations break down between the Phoenix Wrestling Alliance and Visions of Mega Job LLC.


    • There are rumblings of a certain former PRIME superstar who had an interview segment wanting to come back for one last hurrah with said interview segment. Details are hazy right now. In fact, the rumors may have just been borne of social media activity showing clips from PRIME in the classic 2006-09 days lately. I’ll keep you posted in this space if these rumblings become any closer to reality.


    • Rumor has it that Joe Fontaine has been seeking therapy over the many mannequin-related incidents that have plagued him since entering PRIME, in preparation for the Winds of Change’s upcoming UltraViolence tag title match.


    • A series of cryptic messages and hushed conversations seem to reveal a problem in the Kings Of Popsicles’ locker room. If word is to be believed, King Blueberry is missing a prized possession that is near-and-dear to both his heart and pelvis, as someone has stolen his pp, and that someone is none other than notorious penis gremlin El Hijo del Super Cool Guy!


    • Less rumor and actual fact: users of the Jabber platform have been quick to notice rising tensions between Impulse (Randall Knox) and PRIME Universal Champion Brandon Youngblood in the aftermath of Great American Nightmare. PRIME Lead Interviewer, Angelica Brooks, discussed this with Youngblood on her award-winning combat sports and wrestling podcast, The Undergroundcast, in a surprise appearance.

“I didn’t go into the ring intending on giving him (Impulse) a concussion. We all know the risks we take getting in the ring. When I first heard about him needing to spend more than a night in the hospital, I was worried. And I hope he is actually recovered, not rushing back to the ring to prove some macho point.” While this is in line, save the potential insinuations at the end of this statement, of interactions between Youngblood and Knox, the conversation took a more volatile turn when Brooks asked his reaction to Jabber comments Impulse made directed toward him:

“I tried to keep my thoughts on the man private. Maybe it was just fuel to psyche myself up for the match, but Randall Knox is a gatekeeping asshole. I don’t care how he wants to portray himself. He’s jet setting with his girlfriend to shows and they want to act all working class. He’s smarmed about people like Rezin not being true punks, and pushes out that conformity is more punk in this day and age. With what is going on it our world, something like that is goddamn insulting. He was all magnanimous toward me, toward PRIME, toward the importance and prestige of the Universal Championship, until he lost, cleanly, at Great American Nightmare. Now all of a sudden, the guy he wanted nothing more to face off against stands as some symbol of mediocrity. Guy actively starts throwing support behind Phil Atken, a man who name dropped him as one of the people he wants to eliminate from this sport, by the way, just for something ‘fresh.’ He’s gone on and on about how I’ve only faced two wrestlers in the last few months. He wants some truth? I don’t make those decisions. I don’t draw up a list of challengers and bitch and cry and take my ball and go home when management tells me no. I’m not sitting on this Championship like Hoyt did, like Hessian did, hell, like Tsonda did, not defending for months at a time, taking on random challengers. Everyone who has competed for the title has earned a shot. Calling people doing this, the legitimate way, “whores” is some of the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard.”

Youngblood continued. “We both had a question that needed answering. He got the answer. He doesn’t like it, and now he can go sulk in the corner after spending months pushing that chest out like he was the uncrowned King of PRIME. Problem for him is, him and associates of his can’t gatekeep me in this sport. He’s calling me Homelander because he thinks I stand as some corrupted symbol or whatever. No. That’s another on the nose reference that fits much better on the guy making it, if he had the self-awareness to look in the mirror. And I’m not about to let a guy like him dictate the narrative. I made a mistaken in giving him rope. Not my fault he hung himself with it.”

The physicality in the match is said to have surprised some PRIME officials, as prior indicators seemed to point toward a more scientific contest for the Championship, as was the case in the pair’s prior encounter in the Seymour Almasy Invitational Semi-Finals on ReVival 5. That bout is notable as ending in controversy during the fall, as both men’s shoulders were pinned to the canvas, until just before the final count. The Great American Nightmare bout ended without controversy and in spectacular fashion, with Youngblood catching Impulse out of a shooting star press and hitting a spinebuster, which has gone viral outside the world of professional wrestling.


    • Other quick hitters from Youngblood’s appearance on Angelica Brooks’ Undergroundcast.

On the Phoenix Wrestling Alliance coalition of wrestling federations: “Lindsay (Troy) knows my feelings on this. She knows my feelings on some of the companies within this new Alliance. I’m more concerned with what the deal means for PRIME and current agreements we have in place. When I signed, as I am sure others did, there were certain expectations involving touring and the like. People are buying homes in the Las Vegas area. They’re uprooting families. I know that doesn’t mean much to someone as selfish as Melvin Beauregard, but the way that deal got done throws a lot of uncertainty into PRIME, our relationship with the MGM, and with ACE Network.”

On rumors of PRIME domestic touring outside of Las Vegas in the fallout of the PWA deal: “Look, the sooner we know this information, the better. PRIME has a lot of fans all over the U.S., and all over the world. Always have. And bringing our show to them is a wonderful thing. But we want to be able to give those fans the best fights and matches we can, and honestly, the confusion is going to have its effects unfortunately.”

On his upcoming ReVival 13 Universal Championship defense against Phil Atken: “Atken is the biggest threat I’ve faced since (Jason) Snow. In his short time here, he’s cut a path right through PRIME and that path leads to me. But in saying that, I know Atken has never faced an opponent like me before in his life. He calls my Championship a bullhorn. When I told him to meet me in the ring at ReVival 12, I didn’t do it thinking he’d be a chicken, unlike how some looked at him in the past here. I expect him to be there. I expect a fight at ReVival 13. I don’t think it is anything but a war. We’re going to take a piece from each other. I look forward to the challenge.”

On potential UltraViolence opponents Cancer Jiles and Julian Bathory: “I’m not looking past Phil Atken. I will say, though, that I am thrilled with Hayes Hanlon’s performance at ReVival 11. Coming off a 5 Star Championship loss to Rezin, he could have wilted under pressure. Jiles, much as I hate him, is one of the most stubborn bastards I’ve ever been in the ring against. I know what it takes to beat him. Not just the physical cost, but the mental too. Hayes rose to the occasion and cemented himself as a true player in PRIME. The trajectory of his career has changed. I’m looking forward to what the kid does from here.”


    • When pressed for comment on the rumors of PRIME beginning touring, Lindsay Troy waved off the notion. “As much as I appreciate our fans’ desire to see PRIME again in their backyards, there are no plans at this time to tour again. Negotiations with MGM on extending our Las Vegas residency are still ongoing.”


    • I’ve got an inside source that says members of the PRIME roster are turned off by head referee Timo Bolamba’s constant references to his wealth and jet. An anonymous wrestler told me, “We get it. You’ve got a lot of money. It’s cool to be proud of yourself but it feels like he’s just bragging about it. Trying to overcompensate for something.”


    • The buzz around the Milo Flynn Cup, a tag team tournament held yearly in Minneapolis, has spiked in recent weeks. Tickets to the event have sold out and the organizers are discussing the logistics of a live stream. And while the lineup has not been chosen – the official announcements will be made on July 31 – rumor has it that teams from PRIME as well as associated companies have submitted applications.

We reached out to Charles Beckett, one of the event’s founders, for a comment. He offered no hints as to who will be appearing but did say that this year’s tournament would be “dope as hell.”

The Milo Flynn Cup is a charity event that raises money for homeless shelters and services in the Twin Cities area. Its namesake, “The Raging Hobo” Milo Flynn, was a former NWC World Tag Team Champion who sadly passed away some time after the NWC’s closure.


    • With conversations being rampant about the deal between the PWA and ACE Network, PRIME’s Masters of the Multiverse B-Team are rumored to be actively recruiting new members across various promotions with the goal of establishing the “first line of defense against the multiversal threats that await.”

Unrelated, sales of the Foodie Magick Food-O-Matic 3000 have already cooled down two weeks after being revealed.


    • Lastly, word on the street is new PWA liaison Melvin Beauregard called Lindsay Troy to discuss the Phoenix Wrestling Alliance and inter-promotional activity featuring the HOTv Champion, Clay Byrd. Sources close to the situation state that Ms. Troy became irate. Told Melvin Beauregard he’s an asshole, and said, “If that fuckwit cowboy with the stupid hat wants to talk to me, he can do it through someone else or he can find his balls and talk to me face-to-face.”

The jury is out on if the Queen meant Melvin’s an asshole, or Clay, or both.

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