The go-home show for GAN is in the books and we’ve got a LOT to talk about heading into the supershow. Let’s get to it!
- The press conference scheduled for June 15th as reported in our last edition did not come to pass. When asked for comment on the matter, Lindsay Troy replied with a shrug and said, “ask Redding what happened with that. All I can tell you is that Teddy stopped contesting his drug test results and has now been officially released from his contract.”
- Speaking of Redding, reports are that following ReVival 10, Alexander Redding and PRIME officials are no closer to reaching a long term agreement. But, perhaps in a sign of a power struggle, techs could be seen deconstructing and carrying away sections of the cubicle that has played headquarters for Red & Ted during their time with the promotion. This comes after reports began circulating the web that Teddy Palmer has decided to retire from professional wrestling.
Grady Patrick was asked for comment, but offered only words unfit for print.
- Kenny Freeman posted on social media, congratulating PRIME on a successful tenth edition of ReVival and expressing his excitement to compete at Great American Nightmare.
This was met with mostly positive feedback from fans, who look forward to seeing Kenny Freeman get beat up by David Fox and Mushigihara. The jury is still out on Randall Schwartz, however.
- Baron von Blackberry made himself available for questions after the Winds of Change defeated Nate Colton and Nathan Filmix.
When asked about his team, he said, “Well, I knew all of that training with the Helen Mirren standees would pay off eventually.” He refused to clarify what he meant by that, and instead stared at us with eyes unseen. When asked about the unusual number of powerbombs Sid displayed in the match, Blackberry shrugged, “I’m just happy that Richard won his bet.”
Richard Parker then showed up seemingly out of nowhere, gave Blackberry a high five, and then left as quickly as he appeared.
- Timo Bolamba was seen at Las Vegas burger joint Heart Attack Grill wearing an Anna Daniels t-shirt on Sunday. When asked by local reporters after he left the restaurant about his loyalties to Anna Daniels, he simply said, “I like the design and fit. Anna Daniels makes a hell of a shirt and I am proud to support them.”
- In more merchandising news, there is a new top seller on PRIMEshop.com; after weeks of Anna Daniels “New Era” shirt ranking number one, the Brandon Youngblood “Beat Cancer” shirt has overtaken it. The shirt, with a limited print run of 10,000 units, completely sold out within days of being available for purchase. Orders are to be fulfilled shortly, both in the standard as well as the special edition. The special edition came with a higher price point, but features gold lettering, as well as the promise of being hand signatured by the current Universal Champion. The one hundred “special edition” units sold out instantly. As stated, all proceeds from the sale of these shirts will be donated to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, with Youngblood going on to state that he would match it dollar for dollar. Chief Marketing Officer Michelle Johnson is thrilled, stating, “Given the overwhelmingly positive response to this campaign, we will be looking for other ways PRIME stars can utilize our marketing infrastructure to support charitable causes they believe in.”
- Henri Lavigne was reportedly seen at Harry Reid International Airport with tissues in both nostrils, waiting in a terminal bound for Strasbourg via Madrid. No word yet on return plans, if any.
Meanwhile, Brets Chips is considering litigation against Daniel Darby for breach of contract related to last month’s Jabber incident (in which FLAMBERGE’s account was banned for 30 days following a barrage of advertisements and emoji spam).
FLAMBERGE has not yet provided his reaction to either situation.
- Dirk Dickwood of The Glue Factory was asked for comment shortly following ReVival 10 on the announced stipulation of the Dusk vs. Phil Atken match at Great American Nightmare. In between incomprehensible babbling and awkward room pacing, we were able to record the following thoughts:
“Oh god, oh shit, oh no, oh no no no, oh god, jesus christ, my sweet lord…”
Dirk Dickwood then disappeared to a nearby bathroom.
- As first reported by Tim Tillinghast, influential Japanese deathmatch wrestler Pom Shinjoku will be in attendance at the Great American Nightmare. Pom herself has been following PRIME from her school, Pom Academy, in the Kanagawa Prefecture. She hasn’t confirmed whether she will be there in support of her old colleague and rival, The Anglo Luchador. However, PRIME officials are happy to have a wrestling legend in the house for the show.
- Following their win at Survivor, Fighting For Nora were given the choice of who to fight for the Tag Team Championships at Great American Nightmare. When asked why they picked Blue Live Crew, Jonathan Rhine said, “King Blueberry has been the most resilient wrestler in PRIME since arriving, and his work and grit has earned him a title shot. Plus he was a dick to me several times over the last few weeks and I want to punch him again.”
- Melvin Beauregard would like to apologize for the explicit business cards that were passed out during the Survivor Challenge. We understand that Survivor is a family friendly show, and the MGM Grand Pool is a family friendly location, and the items passed out were unacceptable. We apologize.
- ACE Network officials have announced a new documentary program in the lead up to Great American Nightmare with the intention of potentially creating a series. Angelica Brooks has been named Executive Producer and will be taking the lead on the project, titled “Becoming PRIME.” The intention is to spotlight events, as well as give a greater sense of personalization for PRIME’s stars. The inaugural episode will focus on PRIME Universal Champion Brandon Youngblood going into his contest with number one contender Impulse, and will follow him on his road to the much-anticipated battle. Angelica Brooks, a multiple time winner of Sports Podcaster of the Year by various publications, will work as an imbedded reporter as well as series narrator. PRIME officials are said to be thrilled with this development, with Executive Vice President of Media and Technology Keila La Luz stating, “We are glad to continue our work with the ACE Network, as well as leveraging our properties in this way. Angelica Brooks is an acclaimed figure in the sports reporting world, and we are especially excited to have her spearheading this new series.”
- Ahead of the Great American Nightmare, we have learned that the budget for smoke machines has doubled. A recent purchase order, obtained from the stage crew, indicate that every roster member is to be issued a personal smoke machine to make the entering and leaving of rooms all the more dramatic.
- PRIME fans are said to be very upset that there will, in fact, not be a Ditch Match at Great American Nightmare. PRIME officials have stated that, given rumors of Phil Atken’s potential recent demise in the vast Nevada Ditch Fields, that trying to capitalize on this possible tragedy would be in poor taste. Smoke Machine vendors are also said to be very disappointed, as third quarter projections for their companies factored in increased revenue for smoke machine rentals at Great Nightmare supershow parties across the country. Given America’s potential slide into a recession, PRIME CEO Lindsay Troy was recorded stating, after being given this news, “Fuck the smoke machines.”