Rumor Mills: September 6th Edition

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Sep
06

Hello everyone, Matt Mills here with all the Milo Flynn Cup fallout, speculation around a potential new signee, and some hot hot skoopz heading into ReVival 15!

    • Timo Bolamba is reportedly furious as it has been rumored his jet was seen in the air over Harry Reid International Airport, however he has not left Las Vegas.

 

    • Franco Marchesi is believed to be a strong prospect among talent scouts after his performance at the Flynn Cup. Marchesi, an Italian-American originally born in Venice, has primarily wrestled in Europe and Japan for the past sixteen years, and is a former Bang! Openweight Champion.

As of present, he has expressed no interest in signing anywhere, but is noteworthy in that he is a longtime tag team partner to Coral Avalon, currently signed to PRIME under his “Baron von Blackberry” identity. In a brief followup from previous rumors, there has been no word yet on Avalon’s status with the Blackberry persona, other than a note to “wait until UltraViolence.”

 

    • Word from the Winds of Change camp is that Sid Phillips is very tired of being fined. He is also rumored to be getting fined $29.18 for telling a dirt sheet that he was tired of being fined, which… that’s a pretty fast turnaround, and that’s a *very* specific number.

 

    • It’s being reported from a source within the head office that the enigmatic Sage Pontiff is close to closing a deal to become a PRIME-exclusive talent. So far, the delay in the deal is mostly due to the self-stylized Bodhisattva’s odd demands regarding pay structure (the source states he wants a third of his income automatically sent to “the rainforests”), and his request of a biodiesel conversion van as a signing bonus.

 

    • With the 2022 Milo Flynn Cup complete, rumors have been flying fast and furious about the event’s fallout. Here are some highlights.

-Scouts have been buzzing about a number of teams after their performance in the tournament. Most is about the New World Trash, and rightly so, but there are rumors of talent agents reaching out to the Coltons, New East Side Angels, Los Rebeldes del Bien, and Peach Backshots, hoping to get these young talents signed to contracts. There were also reports of those same agents trying to poach some of the bigger names from other federations, including No Quarter, the Dark Overlords of Wrestling, and Coral Avalon.

-Speaking of Coral, we’ve received word that the injury to his tag team partner’s leg is very serious, and may end up forcing Franco Marchesi into retirement. Obviously, we’re hoping for a full recovery and a return to the ring soon.

-One team that definitely had bad news was the Sea Dogs. “Scurvy” Joe Raleigh was heard yelling at his tag team partner after their match, saying that he had “gotten tired of [Yardley] weighing him down.” He then declared that he was quitting the team, and left the arena before Night One was over. It looks like we’ve seen the end of the Sea Dogs, and this might also be it for “Salty” Pete Yardley.

-Speaking of tension, witnesses saw a brief argument between Sound & Fury, Charles Beckett, and David McBride before the beginning of Night One. We suspect it had something to do with Ian Nackedy’s shirt, which he wears any time he’s around the retired tag team.

-Maximum Justice were not seen after their MURKing at the hands of No Quarter, who have reportedly signed on to compete in Missouri Valley Wrestling in addition to their current obligations in Japan.

-Benjamin Colton was romantically linked to no fewer than six participants or attendees, including Peach Backshots, Miranda Xu, Mushigihara, and David McBride. We cannot confirm any of these rumors at this time.

-And finally, on the topic of love connections, Savannah Scandal reports that while Jennifer Colton was not in attendance, she was reportedly seen in the hotel where Jon Rhine was staying for the event, suggesting that the end of their relationship might not be as final as we believed. When asked about the rumor, Jake Colton told Savannah “No Comment,” although his accent made it sound a lot like “Get the fuck away from me.”

 

    • One of PRIME’s younger superstars has been looking into rental properties in the Las Vegas area. Lindsay Troy’s office confirmed that she received a request to have her realtor contact get in touch with this wrestler, but refused to divulge any further information.

 

    • Rumors abound that after the most recent batch of PRIME news hit the press, King Blueberry (Jared Sykes) was seen at a Massachusetts FedEx Office store having poster-sized prints made. The news in question included a story about Melvin Beauregard’s recovery after a post-show incident many weeks ago, and featured some rather saucy quotes from someone involved in the PWA Liaison’s care. Word is that Sykes questioned multiple staff members on whether they would be able to accent the phrase “sex machine,” and if there was any way to create a banner larger that was is normally commercially available.

 

    • Multiple reports from the 2022 Milo Flynn Cup about a post-show conversation between both members of the Kings Of Popsicles, current PRIME Tag Team Champions. Rumors suggest that the exchange, which occurred at the end of Night One of the tournament, may have centered around King Blueberry’s upcoming booking for ReVival 15, and what implications that may have for the longevity of the team. Despite the heated nature of the conversation – a fact confirmed to us by two separate sources on the condition of anonymity – the team left the arena on good terms, and were seen in the audience together in high spirits for the second night.

 

    • Some really interesting rumors coming out of the Masters of the Multiverse camp, as speculation has suggested their funds for the GREAT HOME FOR GREAT SCOTT campaign are being used…oddly.

A source that wishes to stay anonymous mentioned the very real possibility of the duo renting or purchasing a falcon, in honor of their friend’s bear comrade…however, the B-Team has insisted that all funds are going toward securing GREAT SCOTT a decent home.

We reached out to GREAT SCOTT himself but have not heard back at time of publication.

 

    • Word on the street is that El Hijo del Super Cool Guy, the former tag team partner of King Blueberry, is seeking legal representation following his replacement in the team by an actual human. The mannequin claims that his ousting from the team and subsequent reduced workload has jeopardized his membership in SAG-AFTRA, and all of the benefits that membership confers.

 

    • I got my hands on an exclusive bit of medical news regarding Fighting For Nora’s Paxton Ray. He was recently seen at a doctor’s office, but it wasn’t for his daughter Nora. It turns out that despite what he said to Bobby Dean at ReVival 14, Ray IS lactose intolerant — or least he may be now! We were able to find out that Ray complained to the doctor about indigestion, and when the doctor found out how many Choco Tacos Ray ate, she reportedly said he may not be able to eat ice cream again without suffering stomach issues. So it seems to this reporter that Paxton’s “Choco Taco Torture” has indeed tortured both parties!

 

    • Hoyt Williams mentioned a second mask, a jaguar mask stolen from an ancient Aztec temple. The mask we reported upon being stolen was the Tupi Mask of Horrors, which was taken from a museum. However, there is no report of a jaguar mask being stolen from an old temple because it was not reported by authorities. There’s no record of any jaguar mask even existing, indicated this knowledge was gleaned from the dark web. Our ears to the ground have picked up rumblings of several masks being stolen. Is this strange masked thief, heavily rumored to be Roderick McRatrick, a serial bandit? Either way, PRIME officials have been authorized to use lethal force. I wish I was joking.

 

    • Following numerous complaints that have accumulated since the beginning of the year, a new ruling has been put into effect by the PRIME front office that will effectively bar “The Escape Artist” Rezin from requesting Simon Tillier for interviews.

Upon learning this news, the junior reporter allegedly burst into tears of joy.

When reached for comment, Rezin appeared more pleased than irate.

“I toughened the kid up as best I could, but now we’ll see how he handles himself in this madhouse,” he commented, by way of a note attached to a brick thrown through a window. “To the other scum in the locker room: treat him well, or I’ll come lookin’ for ya.”

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